Nickels And Dimes

[willied]

I wrote this song a few years ago and made some changes but never really finished. Give it a read. Suggestions and comments appreciated. ( Was actually the first song I've written.)Bill Nickels and Dimes © all rights reserved Written By: Bill Duffy Verse 1Here I am just walking the street I have no bags to pack Just my old guitarStrapped upon my backVerse 2 Looking for a place to sit A place I can call my own Just need a little space Here by the cobblestonesVerse 3 Where the people can see Where I can play my songs Just need a little space Here by the cobblestonesChorus: Nickels and dimes I’m spending my time Playing my songs for you Place my open guitar case Be sure that it’s in view But.. mister if you could Please read the signBecause here is a manPlaying for nickels and dimesVerse 4 I’m going to sing my heart out I want to play my songsEverybody listen to me If you want you can sing alongVerse 5I'll play all your requestIf you let me knowI'll try to play them allBefore you have to go Verse 6 Hey mister place it here I can use the dough Just have a little time Before they make me goChorus: Nickels and dimes I’m spending my timePlaying my songs for you Place my open guitar case Be sure that it’s in view But.. mister if you could Please read the sign Because here is a man Playing for nickels and dimes Tag: I’m just a man playing for nickels

[wignelson]

Got a good feel to this one. Captures the street musician gig. There's a typo in verse 6 "here."Wig

[motomyrtle]

me too, feelin' the vibe, nice flow, very catchy w/o being cheesyCheryl( should it be 'sit' instead of 'set'?)

[willied]

Wig and Cheryl, Thank you for the comments, every comment is appreciated and help full.Bill

[zoom]

Hey Bill!I like the lyrics you have here, though it really doesn't give much depth into the situation... it's more of a "here I am playing for you, so throw your money down" type of a song. It could be quite good for the right application, and could be very strong for film/tv placements... but I don't think you'll hit anything more than that with this type of tune.Cheers!

[willied]

Zoom, That is something I have been looking at. I have been looking at a change for verse 5 New Verse.I wasn't always in the streetI once had a homeBut hard times got me downSo I'm here at the cobblestonesOld VerseI'll play all your requestIf you let me knowI'll try to play them allBefore you have to goBill

[momof4]

i think you should develop the "plot" a little more. right now, it kind of seems like you're just saying the same things over and over...the song doesn't really GO anywhere. does that make sense? can you put a twist on it, or give the song some foreward motion by giving us more details as it goes on, details that make us really drawn to the singer? just some thoughts. erin

[linziellen]

This is lovely, I get a clear picture straight away and I like the chorus. Forgive me but I had a corny/traditional idea while reading, when you say -Nickels and dimes I’m spending my time Playing my songs for "YOU" I instantly thought there was going to be some lost love story thereon after. I thought "you" was "her" and the story would develop from there. I still like what you have though! Could it be a bit long? If you have the music it would be interesting to hear, I wonder if you might cut down between choruses and give us a nice bridge with what's left?These are only ideas, I think this is a charming piece of writing. Linzi

[willied]

Erin and Linzi I apprteciate the input. I made a few changes trying to make the story line more visible.I don't think I'm done with it but hopefully close. I have a melody in mind so I will probabably work play it and see how it flows. (and also time it)Bill© all rights reserved Written By: Bill Duffy Verse 1Here I am walking the street I have no bags to pack Just my old guitar Strapped upon my back Verse 2 Looking for a place to set A place I can call my own Just need a little space Here by the cobblestones Chorus:Nickels and dimes I’m spending my time Playing my songs for you Place my open guitar case Be sure that it’s in view But.. mister if you could Please read the sign Because here is a man Playing for nickels and dimes Verse 3 I once had myself a job Working nine to five Hard times shut it down Now I’m trying to survive Verse 4Just need a little break To help me get along I’m Trying to find a place Where I can play my songs Chorus:Nickels and dimes I’m spending my timePlaying my songs for you Place my open guitar case Be sure that it’s in view But.. mister if you could Please read the sign Because here is a man Playing for nickels and dimesVerse 5I’m going to sing my heart out I want to play my songs Everybody listen to me And if you want to sing along Verse 6Hey mister place it here I can use the dough Just have a little time Before they make me goChorus:Nickels and dimes I’m spending my time Playing my songs for you Place my open guitar case Be sure that it’s in view But.. mister if you could Please read the sign Because here is a man Playing for nickels and dimesTag:I’m just a man playing for nickels

[momof4]

better! a few minor things: in the first 2 verses, you're walking around searching for a spot and then the chorus is also an "-ing" as in present-tense...so are you walking or are you playing? that may be totally nit-picky, but it's just a thought. maybe, for your first chorus, you could say: "Nickels and dimes, I'LL BE spending my time..." and then for the other choruses, the present tense "I'm spending" works fine. eh?erin