What's wrong with this recording?

[todddunnigan]

We recently got a return where the screener said the song and the style were on point, but the recording screwed us from getting a forward. Could someone tell me more specifically why this recording boned us and what to do to this recording that would have possibly put it over the top?
Thanks

Example song: https://youtu.be/ejdHdP7J8RQ

Our song: https://soundcloud.com/true-swans/said-i-was-crazy

[cassmcentee]

Lovely tune!
By just bouncing back and forth between yours and the reference tune:
The reference mix is very smooth, the High Zs are reserved for the top end of the vocal
It's synth pad is quite lush...
Yours comes across more "hissy" where the High Zs are too present across the spectrum
Kinda makes your drums sound a bit dinky (comparativley)
Maybe bounce back and forth between the mixes, I bet you could get yours a lot closer.
You have the vocal feel nailed...
One thing I would do as well, I don't feel enough space at the Start of yours, could use half a second before it starts, give or take
Nice Work!
Cheers

[todddunnigan]

Thanks, that's good advice.

[cosmicdolphin]

Ouch..vocal treatment sounds nasty, made me wince...it's kinda ruined the pretty singing ..there's a line between making it sound a bit lo-fi/indie and wrecking it ..I think this time you've gone over the line .

Mark

[todddunnigan]

I always enjoy getting your advice because I find you to be spot on, and I agree, I wasn't super keen on running Michelle's lovely voice through a guitar amp plugin, but in all fairness, the screener said we got the vocal sound exactly right.

[cosmicdolphin]

I always enjoy getting your advice because I find you to be spot on, and I agree, I wasn't super keen on running Michelle's lovely voice through a guitar amp plugin, but in all fairness, the screener said we got the vocal sound exactly right.

Hmmmm...have to agree to disagree on that one. Although full disclosure I am running in a new pair of monitors. I think if you take of the Amp Sim, stick it through some dreamy verb like Supermassive , take out a bit of low end ..then you'll e more in the ballpark . Nice song though, you guys always write good material.

Mark

[Cameloide]

I think you did a pretty nice job compared to the reference, but without knowing the quality of what got forwarded it's hard to judge whether or not yours should've been forwarded.

But like a couple of guys have already touched on, the vocal is a little harsh. I'd probably tone it down a bit somewhere from 3k - 8k and experiment with a desser or two, or dynamic equalizer and see if you can make it more pleasing to the ear. If you ran it through an amp sim and there is a mix knob on it maybe tweak the balance between the treated (amp) sound and the non-treated a bit to find the sweet spot. Or run the amp sim as an efx aux (if your rig doesn't have latency issues) and balance it that way. The reference vocal still has that up-close sound in the midst of all that reverb. I'd probably experiment with transparently tuning the vocal a bit too to see if it improves it, if not leave it. This is subtle, but to my ears a lot times the vocal isn't quite in the sweet spot of the groove/pocket, being slightly rushed, which keeps it from feeling as good and relaxing (or purposefully lazy) as it could feel. You could experiment with sliding some of that back to taste.

Seems like the guitar in the reference is gelling better with the atmosphere and space of the track, compared to yours, which is louder and more isolated and directional (to the left). The reference guitar is filling a nice role while maintaining a little mystery. I'm getting a little pitchy vibe from your guitar too, I don't know if it's the chorusy efx or just a slight intonation issue, which is almost unavoidable on the guitar really. (But for anybody interested in that conundrum and ways to work around it check out Eric Valentine's video about guitar tuning it's mind blowing - https://youtu.be/aI2v0ETPM1I ). I'd probably consider dropping the guitar altogether around 2:35 to give that section a more drastic change.

I'd probably work on the snare sound a bit too, or change it altogether. It's a little more jarring than the reference and not quite as smooth and inviting as it could be.

In general the reference mix is more pleasing to the ear, the atmosphere is more cohesive and alluring, and the mix just has more of the developmental arc (like how the low end really kicks in around :48 as does the acoustic in the left ear and how the bridge drops down to feature the mostly, up till then, unheard organ/synth part). But it wouldn't at all surprise me if some of the forwards were less on point that you were. I think you could tweak a few things and spice up the mix a little more and have success pitching it in the future to a similar brief.