"Why Do You Still Care"

[countrysongwriter1]

“Why do you Still Care”I know I messed up,I know you’re tired of,Hangin’ on, to the these broken dreams,Some time life is mean(Chorus)But you’re still here,And I’m Causin’ more tears,I’m still in your hair, Why do you still care.You say you want out,You can’t be in this house,I’ve ruined you life, and cause to much pain,With all my mistakes.(Chorus)But you’re still here,And I’m Causin’ more tears,I’m still in your hair, Why do you still care.Bridge:I want to be with you,But after everything we’ve been through.I don’t blame you,If you wanna leave.(Chorus)But you’re still here,And I’m Causin’ more tears,I’m still in your hair, Why do you still care.Why do you still care.© 2006 Matt Lee

[horacejesse]

This is a decent start. At least it seems somewhat metered."Broken dreams" just has too much wear on it to be up front in the song, or anywhere for that matter, in my opinion. I would take the knife to it. A songwriter can do better than to ever use that phrase again. Crippled dreams might work. Anything but broken dreams, which besides being in aleph nought songs is the title of a famous poem by Yeats...A famous sonwriter can get away with it (and plenty do), but you aren't famous yet.By the way, it does not sound to me that she cares at all. She must be there for some other reason unless the song shows me otherwise, and so far it doesn't. Get to work.