Wolverton Mountain Man

[lwj001]

Tribute song for Claude King.

Wolverton Mountain Man (Larry W Jones 03/30/2013) (song#6679)

Well, I was just a young lad going with the flow
When I first heard Claude King sing on the radio
I was at a soda fountain in Louisian
Listnin’ ‘bout a big bad Wolverton Mountain man

Now, old man Clowers made good hard liquor brandy
With a gun and a knife he was mighty handy
He had a pretty young daughter with raven hair
But Wolverton bears and birds protected her there

(instrumental)

Now I’m an older man and time goes marching on
And it was in March when I heard Claude King was gone
I wonder if he ever kissed Clifton’s daughter’s sweet lips
Or if he married that girl on one of his trips

I know Claude King climbed up on Wolverton Mountain
Cause all of his dreams were with that young girl he loved
He took his chances up on Wolverton Mountain
It was too lonesome down below than up above

Well, I was just a young lad going with the flow
When I first heard Claude King sing on the radio
Up on that Wolverton Mountain he loved her so

[LooknGlass]

Hello my friend. I think that 1st verse is killer, a great start for sure, so much so, it may have been hard for the other verses to compete. I definitely like this, and the story; I just think it could flow together better, the second verse kinda slowed me down for some reason. But this is worth tweaking, I think you have something. Thanks for sharing.

[lwj001]

Thank you LooknGlass. Now we just need a new Claude King to record it.

[mikeShort]

Some nice images here.

I think the problem with the second verse is a major shift of gears without giving us a sign post as to what was going on. In the first verse, the singer is talking about himself, in the second, old man Clowers. Who is that? We don't know. You were talking about Claude King, so we assume the Wolverton Mountain Man is him, and suddenly we have a third character, and I am lost.

Then in the third verse, there is Clifton's daughter, two MORE characters that we can't place.

English problem here:

It was too lonesome down below than up above

"than" requires a comparison, so maybe "more" rather than "too" would work better.

It seems to me you have all the pieces of a great song, but not enough glue to hold it together. Consider telling the story of Claude climbing that mountain and wooing that daughter in the face of that ornery old man, her Dad. And use that to tell those of us who don't know Claude King what he was all about.