Would like feedback on rush job for Singer Songwriter listing

[ChazAldi]

We literally wrote, recorded, mixed, mastered ans submitted this in less than 24 hours, and we both work day jobs. It was totally uncomfortable for me and I hated every minute of it because I am an uptight, pain in the ass, control freak. I would like to spend another 5 days remixing this but alas, there was not time. And of course in the middle of all of it, my internet craps out! AHHHHHH!

Here is the listing:
ACOUSTIC SINGER/SONGWRITER SONGS with Male or Female Vocals are U-R-G-E-N-T-L-Y needed by WEDNESDAY for an (up-to) $7,500, Non-Exclusive, Direct-to-Music Supervisor placement for the Closing Title Music in a big TV Series on Showtime. They’re looking for Down-to-Mid-Tempo Songs that could fit in the general stylistic range of the following references: “Cannonball ” by Damien Rice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRARTIdYEqw “Let Her Go” by Passenger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA “Ready For Love” by India.Arie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxkMlS2nuU8 “Hold You In My Arms” by Ray Lamontagne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJN7xKPE01w “Jealous” by Labrinth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50VWOBi0VFs Please send emotionally compelling, acoustic-based Singer/Songwriter Songs that are in the general wheelhouse of the references above. Stripped-down, Acoustic Guitar/Vocal or Piano/Vocal performances can work for this pitch if the songs are great and the performance is strong. However, they would prefer to hear a little bit of percussion in your production as well – maybe a cajon, shaker, or brushes… just thinkin’ out loud! LYRIC Tip: They want lyrics about “branching out, getting out of town, and/or moving on to bigger and better things.” You’d be wise to avoid specific names, places, dates, times, and brands. Quoting our Source: “They’re not necessarily looking for the best singer for this request! They want a song that delivers a ‘high emotional impact both lyrically and in the vocal performance,’ so emotion is more important than a ‘perfect vocal.’”

Here is our submission:
https://soundcloud.com/user-847403062/l ... -the-winds

Would love to hear your thoughts.

[SawtoothPorter]

I think the track is leaning a little too much towards an 80's ballad-mainly from the verse melody. When I hear the first line I think Michael McDonald. It finds a new life in the chorus, but I don't think it matches up to the contemporary nature of the refs.

It's a killer song. Great lyrics...there are lots of directions you could take it from here if it doesn't find a home in this ending credits spot. Or, you could just forget and repeat

[feaker66]

Great voice and beautiful song. I find the vocal timing off in the first 30 seconds. somewhat hesitant and not flowing. sorry

Paul

[JohnnyP]

Hey Chaz,
Nice writing and wonderful voice!
After listening to the examples I'm thinking it fits in with the listing, but I find my ears wanting to hear a more organic, less "effected" sounding piano or maybe just an acoustic guitar carrying the song. Just my 2 cents but it's a well written song! Nice job.
Best, John

[nicotina]

Great song and a great performance. I think it is on track- my only worry is that the a-la's all have guitar, which gives them a more "indie" vibe. However, I think your performance may win them over- great vocal.

Vince

[ChazAldi]

Thanks for the input everyone! Much appreciated!

[rockinrob]

Beautiful voice.