3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get reviewed!

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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by mojobone » Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:11 pm

Frodo, I'd love to hear your opinion of my instrumental, "Gee Whillikers", at:http://www.myspace.com/thereverendmojobone
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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by frodo » Thu Aug 07, 2008 11:05 pm

Aug 7, 2008, 10:11pm, mojobone wrote:Frodo, I'd love to hear your opinion of my instrumental, "Gee Whillikers", at:http://www.myspace.com/thereverendmojoboneHi mojobone,Here's the three areas to look into, in my view, for the easiest and most obvious enhancements of the song:1. Get more reverb on the lead guitar. Try sending to both a medium plate - preferrably a convolution - to get fatness and wideness - and also to real medium/long room, to etable an idea of a group playing together, for the lead guitar, go after being in the same room as the drums. The way it is now, the drums have far more reverb on them, and making the lead guitar sound dry and as an 'add-on'.2. Panning and dubbing. Pan away the rythm guitar giving place to the drums, bass, and solo in the middle. Try extreme panning for the rythm guitar, like - 100% left. Do a (played) dub 100% right. Keep them fairly dry, don't overdo the reverb if panned extremely. You could try a mono reverb panned at the same place.3. Tighten up the playing. It's to loose and sloppy the way it is, and draws attention to itself instead of leaving the attention on the song.- until next timefrodo

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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by geoffrey » Fri Aug 08, 2008 8:01 am

Howdy,First post....First song I've written this heavy.I was a Taxi member in the early 90's when it was on AOL. Couldn't afford to rejoin, but now I can! It was hard going from friends and family to professionals telling me about my music. But after recovering from the body blows it really was good constructive criticism. I'd sure like some more, now that I'm a lot tougher.http://www.taximusic.com/download/15576 ... ment.html7. Signs Above Lyrics:Lights out, I know what I’m afterFaster, faster, it’s giving me laughterWatch now as I bite into this worldI love how you tickle my insidesNever again will I sit on the sidelinesBetter let your feelings all come back to you...It can make youWiat for the signs from aboveGet close to the ones that you loveGet off this broken rideLook through those vicious liesBring your feelings backTake a ticket, one more rideand get your feelings rackedBetter bring them backBring your feelings backTake a ticket just once more

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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by frodo » Fri Aug 08, 2008 8:46 am

Aug 8, 2008, 11:01am, geoffrey wrote:Howdy,First post....First song I've written this heavy.I was a Taxi member in the early 90's when it was on AOL. Couldn't afford to rejoin, but now I can! It was hard going from friends and family to professionals telling me about my music. But after recovering from the body blows it really was good constructive criticism. I'd sure like some more, now that I'm a lot tougher.http://www.taximusic.com/download/15576 ... ment.html7. Signs Above Lyrics:Lights out, I know what I’m afterFaster, faster, it’s giving me laughterWatch now as I bite into this worldI love how you tickle my insidesNever again will I sit on the sidelinesBetter let your feelings all come back to you...It can make youWiat for the signs from aboveGet close to the ones that you loveGet off this broken rideLook through those vicious liesBring your feelings backTake a ticket, one more rideand get your feelings rackedBetter bring them backBring your feelings backTake a ticket just once moreHi geoffrey,Here's the three areas to look into, in my view, for the easiest and most obvious enhancement of the song: 1. Get some more energetic cymbals in the intro, more aggressive, heavy hitter kind, further back in the room, sound wise. 2. The vocal it too muddy and distorted, try duplication the vocal and have one clear sounding one with more hi-end, and one distorted and heavy compressed, and then balance the two for the right combination of distortion and aggression, with more understandable singing.3. Some of the cymbals and hihats sound a little bit high in volume and a little bit 'out of the music', on their own, maybe lowering the volume slightly, - and there is some that might be a little to much out of time around 0:36.- until next timefrodo

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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by stevebarden » Fri Aug 08, 2008 8:47 am

Aug 8, 2008, 11:01am, geoffrey wrote:Howdy,First post....First song I've written this heavy.I was a Taxi member in the early 90's when it was on AOL. Couldn't afford to rejoin, but now I can! It was hard going from friends and family to professionals telling me about my music. But after recovering from the body blows it really was good constructive criticism. I'd sure like some more, now that I'm a lot tougher.Hi Geoffrey, welcome (back) to Taxi and now to this forum. Glad to hear that you're a lot tougher now. I've got some feedback on your song.First of all, I usually listen to songs just as a listener would experience it from, say, the radio. That is, without the aid of a lyric sheet. I found your vocals to be completely indistinguishable. I couldn't comprehend a single word. It was so overly processed as to make it pretty much just noise.I guess I'd have to ask what your goals are for submitting songs through Taxi. From a commercial standpoint your songs are way out there. For instance, the intro to this song was nearly a minute long followed by a short verse, then another long instrumental break until the next verse.I'm not sure if the third verse was a verse or a chorus. There was fundamentally no difference (melodically, rhythmically, etc.) between them. Even in this genre of metal/punk/thrasher music there is some kind of hook in the music. I love the energy for sure!From a lyrical standpoint it's difficult to understand what you're talking about. For example, what's giving you laughter? What vicious lies? I don't know what "getting your feelings racked" means. I'm not sure what metaphor the "ride" is referring to. It seems you have a clear idea of the feelings and meanings but it's not clear to the listener.I listened to a few other pieces on your web site. It's apparent that you favor the long instrumental intros and breaks. Bear in mind that most of the listings in Taxi require a very strict adherence to standard song forms and follow commercial trends. That's not to say that there isn't a place for your music, but if you are pursuing the commercial side of songwriting then you need to focus on what's being released these days.I hope you find this as constructive criticism and not in any way a bashing of your talent. You are a very talented musician. I'm sure other forum members, especially those with even more experience in what's considered commercial will have more useful advice to offer.All the best,Steve

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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by geoffrey » Fri Aug 08, 2008 10:40 am

Thanks frodo and Steve for your replies.Steve you are correct about my songs having a non-commercial structure. I suppose one of my favorite influences is Rush-Hemispheres, up until Moving Pictures. I've written very few commercially structured songs, but I don't have any problem understanding them and writting them for TV/Film, or what have you. I really would enjoy writing :30 :60 second songs, or maybe New Age soundscapes, which don't have so much structure.This song took 3 hours to make, compared to many weeks for a lot of my other songs. I've never "scream singed" before, so that was kind of fun. I was inspired by the opening music for UFC or WEC, can't remember which, on cable television.I think frodo is dead on with his advice about cymbals and vocals and sure do like hearing something other than "dude, that totally jams!" Which is what I get from friends and family....most of the time anyway.I actually ran through one time just singing whatever came to mind. Then writing lyrics that matched the energy, and singing them once. I agree that they make no sense.Thanks again, can't wait to hear everyones music!

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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by stevebarden » Fri Aug 08, 2008 10:58 am

Geoffrey, I can see where you're coming from based on those influences and it sounds like writing short subject cues for film & TV might be better suited to your musical sensibilities. And it's a good sign that you're open to real criticism and don't respond with "well it's perfect the way I envisioned it and you're just a stupid head if you don't like it and appreciate the genius you're talking too!".Keep posting your material here and you'll get good feedback from all the smart people here.Steve

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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by mojobone » Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:17 pm

Thanks, Frodo, and good catch! that version had the wrong drum reverb on it. Plans are in motion to clean up the slop,thanks again.
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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by wignelson » Fri Aug 15, 2008 1:57 am

Hi Frodo,I'm considering submitting this tune for TV/FilmPlease tell me if it will fly in it's present state if I cut the intro down to get the vocals in quicker.Thanks for your time, Wighttp://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_id=159032&stream=true

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Re: 3 easiest ways to improve your song: Get revie

Post by frodo » Fri Aug 15, 2008 6:28 am

Aug 15, 2008, 4:57am, wignelson wrote:Hi Frodo,I'm considering submitting this tune for TV/FilmPlease tell me if it will fly in it's present state if I cut the intro down to get the vocals in quicker.Thanks for your time, Wighttp://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_id=159032&stream=trueHi Wig, Since you asked a spesific question, I guess you're not looking for the '3 easiest ways to improve your song'.I can't say if it will fly with a shorter intro, however, - it was a bit long.For a radio-type song, you'd probably look into cutting 3/4 of it, leaving about 10 sec or so.For film/tv they will probably start it where they like, however, there might be a couple of music supervisors that would skip the rest and go to the next song if not the vocal was in at 20 secs...- until next timefrodo

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