Dec 19, 2008, 5:06am, michael11 wrote:Firstly mojo,to put Final Notice on a letter (or for arguments sake) to have a van sitting outside your house with Debt Collector written on it is against the law in this country.It is Harassment.(Protection From Harassment Act 1997.s2 Crime And Disorder Act 1998 s 32) if your interested which I very much doubt, also I am in a position of civic responsibility and my character has to be and appear to be beyond question.Wow, I like that law.I really feel for Michael on this one. As a case in point, Saturday I received a nasty postcard from the city telling me it is "illegal" (their formatting) for me to replace my windows without going through them. It went on from there about how I should want to "avoid the expensive and unfortunate outcomes" of defying cultural preservation guidelines. Trust me; this was a financial sucker-punch to the gut. Within about 5 minutes online, I discovered that the house I've owned for 3 years (and put energy-efficient windows and solar panels and cork and bamboo flooring -- green, green, green) is in an historical preservation area and virtually everything I've saved for and done is, in their opinion, wrong. Law says the realtor was supposed to tell me and didn't, or I wouldn't have bought it.I've been through this almost 20 yrs ago with my first house and -- long story short -- my experiences as a first-time homeowner back then left me pretty traumatized. For example, I had to get the city's permission to get security bars after being broken into 2x in 6 days (yes, my modest music studio at the time was cleaned out) and despite being unable to sleep or eat and barely to report to work, I was so upset and frightened.... ANYWAY...Relevance?I work my ****ing ass off for absolutely everything that I have, and I react exactly the same way as Michael when I receive what looks like a threat. I am furious and frightened and all of it. And as for "PC" and all, well, with power comes responsibility, right? Know when force is merited. If tearing someone down would actually be constructive -- and I'll concede that sometimes it is -- then have at it. I was known for a pretty sharp tongue in my younger years and had that pride in "telling it like it is" and so on. But there comes a time for higher-level strategy -- call it scheming or call it compassion, but consider, "What is my real goal here? What do I really want from this conversation?" Once you establish that goal, silently, it's pretty likely that something besides, "You're a f*cking idiot" will come out of your mouth. The woo-woo side of it is, yeah, life is short -- how much will it cost you to just be kind? And isn't that way more impressive, and rare, to see the bigger, stronger person be kind?Ern, I bet your former friend has alienated a lot of people with his shortsightedness and artsier-than-thou-ness (I'm taking a guess that that's his deal, based on your Cage comment). I love John Cage and I sincerely respect John Williams too. Not having room in his universe for both is your ex-friend's own insecurity -- and his loss.