Electro/Orchestral - first attempt- any thoughts? REVISED

[onelight24]

Hello all, I thought I would ask the collective opinion of those here on this forum about this first attempt at an electro/orchestral rendering for video game use. I realize there is still work to be done on this, hence I would appreciate any thoughts!
Thanks in advance!

http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/song_2962665

****I've updated this piece with many of the great suggestions given. Have a listen, if the spirit moves you. Your thoughts are always appreciated!
Thanks in advance!

http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/song_2976782

Cheers,
Vincent!

[remmet]

Vincent - First attempt???!!!

I thought this was excellent. The themes and counter-themes were clear and consistent, and your orchestration was well-balanced and sonically rich. And the percussion really helped propel the piece without overwhelming the orchestra. You might try adding just a tiny touch of reverb to the percussion so it sounds more like it's coming from the same location as the orchestra, but if it's necessary at all, be sure not to overdo it. It has just the right amount of presence and impact as is.

Really, really well done!

Richard

[onelight24]

Hi Richard, thanks for your kind thoughts! Reverb on the percussion is something I did not do, thanks for that!

Cheers,
Vincent!

[teleblaster]

Really nice, Orchestral is way above my pay grade, I only lernt to spell it this year. That said I could hear this in an action video game, Halo comes to mind. Keep up the great work and let us know how it goes. Hope it goes forward for you.

Erich

[onelight24]

Hi Erich, thanks for your thoughts and your humor, I could not stop laughing!

Cheers,
Vincent!

[KO aka Kel >> Very Awesome 1st attempt I must say ^_^]

Wow... for a 1st attempt!!
Vincent... Good stuff man...
Orchestration's working to me... the drums are cool but I might dirty it up just a bit...
I think U could add some more Electronica synth parts to it... make it more modern & that would add an extra edge to the already pretty track... HTH.

-Kel

[tinozigzag]

As you said to be your first attempt.......very impressive!

Tino

[onelight24]

Hi Kel & Tino thanks for your kind thoughts! Kel, adding more synth material to dirty it up a little is what I was thinking, so yes I will continue to explore that possibility!

Thanks again!

Cheers,
Vincent!

[winston]

Vincent,

Very nice first attempt at Electro/Orchestral. It's a challenging genre and you seem to have a good feel for it.

The build in the intro is good but if you're going to pitch this to libraries, I'd suggest using that material for a middle section and come right in with the hard hitting drum stuff that you have at :27. Keep the drum/triangle intro and then just come out swinging.

Nice chord at the end! For my taste, I'd prefer to have it set up a bit more. The piece kind of winds down and then the chord sounds a bit like it's tacked on. I'd like to hear more of a build to the pause right before the chord, I think dramatically it would be more effective.

Nice work!

Mazz

[onelight24]

Hi Mazz, thanks for your input! The chord at the end was intended to be a sort of kick in the pants surprise, yet I do get what your suggesting. As for the intro section, I will have a listen with your suggestion in mind and see how that feels for me. It seems abrupt to come out swinging, yet I trust your experience in this matter!
Once again I appreciate your thoughts!

Cheers,
Vincent!