Feedback on AC Pop Song

[Four26Studios]

Hi Everyone - I've been a long time forum follower but never posted before. I'm hopeful that you might be willing to give me some feedback on a song I recently submitted for an AC Pop listing. The reviewer gave me great feedback (that I don't disagree with):

"Its a good song. Can't see it though for Features or TV just yet though as the approach leans a bit dated in feel right now.
I do think you could fix that and I'd suggest it - go for a bit more polished, contemporary approach"

I'd love to fix it but not sure exactly how. Any suggestions are much appreciated!! You can find the song here:

Lyric Video: Ghosts

Thanks for any help!!

[LongBlackNight]

Hi 4/26,

You'll have to take what I say with a grain of salt since I'm no AC Pop expert.

The song is well performed and well sung. I like it. However, it is a little lacking in energy. There is no dramatic chorus, for example, which is something I often see requested.

Hope this comment helps.

[cassmcentee]

You have a wonderful song!
I do agree with the Screener's comments

I would suggest doing a critical study/breakdown of 2 or 3 songs from Taylor Swift
Instrumentation, Mix, Breaks etc.
Will be a good primer for what is working these days
In my mind you would need to start from near scratch with the mix and match sound/instruments to a modern production.
Will be a great lesson
Cass

[songmaster]

I think there is a good song going on with this. I love the lyrics about them not seeing thier shadows on the floor. I agree with some of the others that, you should nail down what the chorus is and also, it almost seems like you wrote the lyrics first and then tried to fit it into a melody. Sometimes the lyrics seem a little rushed or crammed in, even though a lot of the lyrics are really beautiful. I agree with the screener that this song could be fixed, maybe with finding a more solid structure, so that people know when the chorus is coming, maybe with a short pre-chorus. It seems like you have all the parts and they just need to be rearranged. Anyway, really nice song and it's just my 2 cents. Good luck with it!

Tom

[johnlewitt]

It's the arrangement choices you've made. This is very 1990's. It reminds me of 4 Non Blondes a little bit. If you like the tune and want to work on it more, maybe try and find a current song with a similar singer, and then 'borrow' some of their arrangement ideas.

[Patrick]

I'm thinking of the old adage..."If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

But to be honest, the verses are too verbose. The lead vocal is pitchy and the production is empty. I listened to the track 3 times, and nothing stuck with me. I'd ditch this effort and move on to greener pastures. There's some nice lyrics wandering around, but they need a new home.

Pat

[ttully]

Hi Four26studios,

Just move on....keep writing...don't try to fix it.

Here is one suggestion....make sure the drummer plays to a click.... and if ANYTHING the drummer plays is not in perfect time....fix it.
I'll listen over and over and over again to the drum part.... the foundation needs to be perfect.
I go thru EVERY SINGLE DRUM HIT and make sure the are in perfect time.

And on to the big problem....there is nothing memorable about this track...no emotion...everything is just blah...even after listening 3 or 4 times....I couldn't sing it back to you....
Not trying to be rough on you...but that is the truth.

Just keep writing.... but make sure to listen to CURRENT AC hits and emulate the style.

My 2 cents,
Tim

[ttully]

Hi Tom,
It seems like these are real drums....but some of the hits are late...

Too quantized would mean every hit sounds exactly same as well as being in perfect time.

I ALWAYS use Beat Detective in Protools to get the drums perfect...if they are real drums.
And yes...you can vary the timing of the drums slightly.... but the late hits will show up like a sore thumb on the grid.

Many many top artists also have their real drums aligned to perfect time..... it is just what is expected nowadays.
There is always the occasional slightly late hit or rushed fill... that will just not fly with today's listeners.
And of course...some genres are a bit more acceptable off slightly off drums than others.

So to make my now long answer short..... too quantized also has to do with the sound of the drums as well as the timing.

My perfect 2 cents worth,
Tim

[Four26Studios]

Thank you everyone for listening and providing feedback! Super helpful and instructive. I appreciate it very much!!!

[Shalee]

Hey!
I had a listen and I think the biggest issue with your track, apart from agreeing that it sounds dated and there are some pitch issues, is your lyrical mathmatics not aligning.

What I mean by this, is that when you put your lyrics down line for line, and counting your syllables and structure, there's little consistency or clear rhythmic patterns, which throws out consistency and patterns of the melody, which throws out the rhythm of the instrumental and so on and so forth.

Pop music is one of those genres where the syllable count matters. One syllable too many can completely throw out a melody line and be the difference between an average hook and a great hook.

I probably wouldn't try to redo this track as you would need to pull a 180, but in the future id consider really analysis and breaking down your lyrical structure to make sure everything sits strongly and has purpose.

That's my thoughts, hope it helps you on your journey.