First posting Swag Bag

[Mellow D]

Hello all

I am new to the Taxi site but am excited by the potential it offers.

I have been working on songs for a year or so and joined taxi to get a steer on how commercially viable they may be.

I was wondering what people think of the attached song Swag Bag, structure, melody, commercial appeal, strengths weaknesses. It would be great if you guys could give it a listen and offer some honest thoughts.

http://taxi.com/D-0710-0853

lyrics

She said it's easier to dance in the dark
forget their eyes and lets follow our hearts
don't fight these feelings or feed them to fear
fates expectations keep drawing us here.

I don't want to be a shadow living off your light
I was born to be a star or kiss the world good night

did you get the money
think about the money
with all that money
how can we go wrong.

Best wishes

Mellow D

[jfraizer]

Hello, tried to check out your song but you link brings me to my own taxi page.

Your link should be something like

http://taxi.com/youruserid

[Mellow D]

Hiya

Thanks for the steer

I have changed the link now so hope this works okay.

[feaker66]

Couldn't find your song

Paul

[Mellow D]

Hi all,

Sorry man as you can see I don't really know what I'm doing.

Maybe try this guys?

http://taxi.com/D-0710-0853

Kind regards,

Mellow D

[marcblack30]

Still not seeing it.
Go to "Edit" - make sure the "Public" box is checked.

[Mellow D]

Hi all,

I'm embarassed!

Right think I sorted it finally. Have changed setting so public can see. Fingers crossed it will work...

[remoteoutofcontrol]

It was worth the wait bro, I liked it a lot more than I thought I would! I don't really know how to critique to this style so I'll leave that to the others. Im also new to TAXI BTW.

Have fun and all the best to you!

Ken.

[marcblack30]

Hey Mellow D, I dig your Artist Pic on your profile!
I really like a lot of things about this song and do believe it has much potential.
It’s cool, catchy, has a good melody and hook, and the guitar parts are cool!

Remember this is just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth, I don't always leave such detailed feedback but I really like the song and I think you should make it the best you can.
Here’s what I think needs to be improved:
1. Production wise, it doesn’t sound broadcast quality, there are a few things that stand out to me that make you miss the BQ mark, mostly pitch & tuning issues, check the level jump on “Did ya get the money”.
2. The acoustic guitar sounds out of tune; it makes the electric appear out of tune.
3. I think you could do without the intro bit, you could start the song with the shaker and guitar like you do at around 20sec, and try to have the vocals come in no later than 20secs. Right now you the vocal doesn’t really come in until 50sec and you should be well into the chorus by then, IMO.
4. The vocals are bit pitchy in places, but I do like the voice, it works great on this song but I think you should correct the pitchy parts.
5. The backing vocals are fun, I like the group thing, it almost sounds like they’re about to laugh while singing, maybe even heard a laugh at the end of the chorus, I’d fix that. Rap section is cool!
6. I think it would sound good with some drums.


I’d consider re-working this one a bit, like I said, it has a lot of potential but could use some work.
Best of luck to you, you are very talented!

Cheers--

[glender]

Just listening through my laptop right now, but it seems like a fun tune. Sounds like a rough demo but has the potential to evolve into something marketable. Please paste the lyrics in the initial post if you get a chance. gl