I'm Not Afraid of Spiders

[linziellen]

Hi again, I've been writing this for a few days, leaving it to settle, picking it back up again! It's supposed to be a light hearted girl loves boy, boy doesn't realise it, upbeat song! What do you guys think? All comments welcome!I’m Not Afraid of Spiders© Lindsey Ellen JolivetV1I’m not afraid of spidersI know they mean no harmBut if one happened to crawl by nowI’d jump into your armsAnd I’d go as far to whisper Because you haven’t got a clue That I’m not afraid of spidersBut I am in love with youV2And if I ask you to the moviesTo see the latest horror showMy eyes would fix on you babeInstead of the psychoBut I’d sit and fake a shiverAnd I’d beg to hold your handYou’d be the last one to suspect meOf having all this plannedChorusAll these silly thingsAll these silly, stupid thingsIf you add them up together I’m sure that you would seeThere’s only one thing I’m afraid ofHe’s tall, he’s dark, he’s six foot threeThere’s only one thing I’m afraid ofAnd that’s you, leaving meV3I’m not afraid of night timeGrew out of that when I was twelveBut if we got plunged into darknessI’d have to have a delveAnd hopefully I’d find youClose enough to hear That I’m not afraid of night timeBut I’m sure glad you’re nearChorus RepAll these silly thingsAll these silly, stupid thingsIf you add them up together I’m sure that you would seeThere’s only one thing I’m afraid ofHe’s tall, he’s dark, he’s six foot threeThere’s only one thing I’m afraid ofAnd that’s you, leaving me

[michael11]

I think it is extraordinarily sweet and nice and lovely.From a technical point of view I can't help but there are many here who can and probably will.C'est beau!!!!!(hope I got that right!!!!)

[davekershaw]

Quote:He’s tall, he’s dark, he’s six foot threeIt's not about me then! Nice lyrics Linzi!

[linziellen]

Thanks Michael, I appreciate your kind words & the French ones too "C'est beau, c'est tres bien" Well if I only have to change that one line Dave, then it must be about you ... (in disguise) Thank you,Linzi

[weapon]

I heard a country song in my read when I read it, nice.P.S. I scream like a girl when I see a spider, I'll be having nightmares after reading this, thanks...just kidding.

[garrettmiller]

I like it. I'm curious to hear the finish result (melody/tempo)....Garrett

[momof4]

hey! i'm in a rush, as usual, but i wanted to tell you this is SO clever! i love the verses! my minor issue is that (and maybe it's just me) it seems like the chorus isn't quite connected to the song, like it could be a different song, or something. maybe, because your verses are so clever and well-written, your chorus could work just as a simple repetitive phrase that sums up the whole song? oh, and also, the word "delve"...i'd toss that and stick something else in there. maybe it's a Euro thing, but there ain't many people in my neck of the woods that say "delve". like your hair, btw...did you darken it?erin

[linziellen]

Thanks for reading guys!Funny you should point out the chorus Erin, I've been singing and playing it on the piano, and somehow it doesn't quite fit. The melody changes half way through each verse. The second half melody is almost like a chorus. So I have two verses like that and then a chorus "All these silly things" etc, that sounds more like a bridge. Needs a little work, but I do like the music I've found. I'm wondering if I can round the chorus up, but the length of it feels right. Maybe I could get rid of the 6ft3 line and replace it with something simple.Thanks for your thoughts, and yes the hair went dark!Linzi

[jchitty]

Lindz....no one can write better story songs than you. These lyrics are so sweet....very adult, yet very childlike too. The only thing is, as Erin pointed out, the story does seem a little disjointed. Another thing, because of the title of the song, I thought there would be more a repeat of the line, "I'm Not Afraid of Spiders." I think I would have tied that into the chorus more....repeat that line there.You know I'm hard pressed to find anything wrong with your lyrics though....they are always great!

[linziellen]

Aw, thanks Chits (but I bet they can)! Wonderful points you've made, I thought about including the title in the chorus too so I'm looking into it now. I'm trying to find words that work with the last line of the chorus. I don't want to use 'me' before it crops up at the end and I like the 1st four lines! That leaves me with 2/3 lines to mess with and one of them needs to be the hook!(Oh and I may soon be the proud owner of a new mic, I CAN'T WAIT)!!!I'm going to check out your new tune later.Thanks