Quote:Speaking as a father, the 1st part of the chorus lyric hit me in a dull, wet kind of blanket, sort of way. The song and a daughter lines sounded like acquired possessions,(like the green house) rather than relationhship/family stuff. AND the song is all about the strength and bond of a long-term relationship. Not mentioning the kids other than that one line, seemed to be like writing a pick-up truck into a country song, just so you hit all the bases. Maybe using something else, more possesion like, would be stronger. It caught me off guard, like a movie with surprise characters that didn't add to the story.Now when I read about Charlene making all those meals, I lost it(meaning I teared up). But I would have no matter what that other line was. I found the lyric to be very moving, from then on. But again, when the chorus showed up, the song felt diluted to me, because of that line. The second part of the chorus(or whatever you call it), is really nice imagery. made me hungry. You see, I've only had red beans and rice once or twice.Quote:And Charlene knew she was fading fastSo she walked into the kitchenAnd cooked her lastSpecial chili and red beans and riceSpaghetti sauce and potatoes baked twiceFroze thirty future suppers for old Lem Jones How you end the line on LAST. Is different and COOL. the word "future" looks clunky somehow. Maybe "perfect" would be more about the situation. it's the same kinda vowel sound as thirty, and might sound nicer. But that whole last line, ought to be quite a payoff, and it's not quite there. As far as the marketability is concerned, the song is poignant, but it is about the DEATH, of a loved one. I'd like to be wrong, but I just can't imagine anyone covering the tune on the radio because of that.You know, Chits, I welcome your opinions on anything I have recorded! Mr. Steve, your thoughts are always appreciated. We'll get back to the 'death' thingy. I've always had concerns that this song would not come across as intended. I meant it more as a tribute to Lem and Charlene's love, about how such a beautiful love can extend beyond the grave....sort of that 'love is eternal and never dies' thing. The line about Lem 'says a prayer and lifts a glass to his wife' is Lem actually acknowledging that even though Charlene is gone, he is very touched by her l'ast gift' because to him it signifies how much she loved him, how selfless she was to think of how he would be when she was gone. But you have a good point in that...when you're dealing with songs involving death, it might be a hard sell....people might be more depressed with this song then uplifted.Anyway, thanks for all your good input....I like getting different perceptions...it helps me to understand what people are seeing in the song and what they are not seeing with it....and it's ultimately up to the songwriter to make the song clear to the listener...this is why I wanted you guy's input.