Impostor Syndrome

[cosmicdolphin]

Oh I know I'm an imposter...

Luckily I'm one of the best ones

[Cruciform]

Does anyone ever entirely get over it? Maybe if you're of the calibre of John Williams, I don't know. I know I feel like a fraud waiting to be found out.

Agree with what Ethan says, the more you learn, the more you realise how little you know.

[lesmac]

Ralph Murphy reckons we are all "monumentally dysfunctional".

I bet if we had to make our own shoes they'd be at least two sizes too big.
Thats where a few pairs of thick woollen socks comes in handy. Maybe some might make them two sizes too small.
Thats when you go barefoot.

As soon as we come into this world we are faced with authority figures, our parents.
We could blame them for it all but they'd only say their parents were at fault.

If we are lucky enough to be taught a little humility life can be a easier for us.
No matter how many slightly to totally drunk people tell you what a great guitarist [or any instrumentalist] you are there is always someone "better' than you to deflate your ego but also inspire you. Should I chop his fingers off or should I go home and practice those great riffs he was playing?


The ego can provide energy and motivation to get things done but it's flawed and fuelled by negativity.
The subconscious mind using creative visualisation and scientific prayer can be a more powerful tool to help one focus and make positive changes in life.You have to dream big before "big" things can happen.


I love learning how to get better at what I'm doing. I enjoy the journey but sometimes fear creeps in because I've made a commitment to use my creativity to put some food on my table and the window of opportunity isn't as wide open as it used to be.
Not to worry a bit of wood will turn up somewhere to keep it jammed open.

I felt like a fraud when I first arrived on the forum because I didn't have any music recorded to share or "show my chops" but I did what was recommended and participated and listened to other peoples stuff etc. Being a part of the greater whole is good. Embracing the bigger picture is good. If we treat ourselves with the same compassion we might reserve for our children our lives will be the celebration they should be and not some backward looking, self recriminating, small misery.

Self doubt isn't uncommon but it's not to be tolerated for longer than a second.
Below is a quote from Caruso;
'Caruso struck with stage fright “The Little Me would like to strangle the important Me within!
Move out Little Me, the Big Me would like to sing through me! Escape, escape, the important Me could sing!”

Back stage talking to himself before performing. Probably not in English….'

I have enjoyed all the posts in this thread, some nicely left of field stuff.

Thanks for the chance to ramble.

[Cwadroon]

Anyone ever read the "War of Art"? Great books that are all about trying to conquer the "demons" that plague artists . An amazing producer I know turned me on to them, I would almost say they are life changing for people like us and I highly recommend them!

[Russell Landwehr]

It's heartwarming to know that my esteemed peers struggle with this same thing. I don't think I've broached this subject before. Really I'm only dropping my pants here because I've "mostly" got a handle on this demon. Yeah, the dragon still rears it's ugly head, but NOW I fear this foe's debilitating effects more than I fear being "found out."

Michael Laskow has commented in the past about how crazy it is that TAXI members will go through great lengths to get their stuff forwarded, but when contacted by the Client who wants to sign the music, the members will get cold feet. Michael has equated this to "fear of success". But i'm beginning to wonder if it may be this irrational fear of being "exposed as a fraud". This may be the reason that some members don't take the "next step."
And that next step could be ANY step. From signing up for a TAXI membership (when they will be forced to risk being exposed as a "fraud" when they send stuff in to listings) to signing that contract with the client where the music will be OUT THERE and EVERYONE will find out!

whereas our UK national trait is modesty.

Yes, Graham, I had a conversation with a TAXI friend from the UK a while back regarding posting successes in the TAXI forums.
He was reluctant to do so because it has the earmarks of "bragging". I explained to him that posting successes is NOT bragging, but showing that TAXI WORKS! That way the information can be ENCOURAGING to other members. Additionally, I told him that posting about one's forwards helps members by letting them hear what makes it. This way members can get a better handle on the target.
He began posting threads of his forwards and placements.



But anyway, back to the original subject. There ARE ways to get through this "Impostor Syndrome" and be productive. I've found the best way to do this is to get in "flow". Because, when you are "in flow", your self goes away. No fears, no expectations, no doubts. Just the music.

Of course after the music is created, you still need to drop your drawers and send it in. arrrrgh!

Russell

[Russell Landwehr]

Anyone ever read the "War of Art"? Great books that are all about trying to conquer the "demons" that plague artists . An amazing producer I know turned me on to them, I would almost say they are life changing for people like us and I highly recommend them!

YES! I am currently on my third time through the book... That one and "Turning Pro"

Absolutely brilliant stuff

[Cwadroon]

Anyone ever read the "War of Art"? Great books that are all about trying to conquer the "demons" that plague artists . An amazing producer I know turned me on to them, I would almost say they are life changing for people like us and I highly recommend them!

YES! I am currently on my third time through the book... That one and "Turning Pro"

Absolutely brilliant stuff

Awesome! I read the whole book in one sitting (more thrn once lol) How did you hear about them? (If you don't mind me asking)
I was told of another recommendation, but I haven't checked it out yet. It's called "the obstacle is the way" . Great stuff for us imposters lol

[Russell Landwehr]

How did you hear about them? (If you don't mind me asking)
I was told of another recommendation, but I haven't checked it out yet. It's called "the obstacle is the way" . Great stuff for us imposters lol

I either heard of it here in the Forums or via Michael on TAXI TV. I can't remember. It's been a few years.
I discovered "Turning Pro" from reading "The War Of Art."
Now I apparently have another to check out thanks to you.

[Cwadroon]

Very cool! I will have to start watching taxi TV more, great info.

[jdstamper]

Great post Russell,

I like to check out interviews with famous composers, producers, artists ... and it comes up a lot that many are afraid of being discovered as fakes, plus maybe their current project will expose them ... I think we're in good company in the closet of anxieties (credit to Berke Breathed)