"Lines Want Crossed" into "Wildfire"?

[ideascapes]

Hi Andy. I actually listened to your song this morning and posted some comments, but somehow they got lost in cyberspace.I too first noticed the professional demo. I think you have some interesting phrase positioning and good, simple melodies in the verse.The chorus is cool and modern in terms of melodic range and sustained notes. Your singer actually sounds a little like Carrie Underwood in her high register and my guess is that'd get a screener's attention. I think I understand what Cisko and cj mean about the title line and lack of hook. "Lines want crossed and roots want pulled" is a clever way to get across what you're saying, but it doesn't really roll off the tongue and not exactly standard phrasing.From a production standpoint, I think I'd be adding answering lines with background vocalists after both "crossed" and "pulled" (as the notes are sustaining). I think it'd make the song a little more memorable, but don't know if it would solve the main issue.Re-reading the listing, you have a lot going for you in this song--the melody does soar and the lyric is pretty engaging. I just don't know if your title lyric qualifies as "youthful."Even if you don't get a forward (and you might), you definitely have talent (and access to good session singers)!Hope you hang around a keep posting/commenting.Vince

[jay10music]

ANDY....Very nice song...Good vocal...a little dry for my taste but nice..The vocal seemed very loud in my cans...I probaly burned these ones out...Over all nice track.. Jay.. .....Good Luck...

[jwebbinspired]

We'll see what Taxi says, I'm a little uneasy about it now that several folks have mentioned my songs is missing some crucial parts.

[orest]

I do agree with the lyric part, it's a little too deep, but who knows? If you take our friends advice and the screeners critique maybe you hit it even harder next time! But you'll never know! Maybe we will hear a happy dude in the forward section soon ..

[jwebbinspired]

Thanks Alex, We'll see. I do know that with everyone's feedback and a taxi critique I have no excuse not to make it a great song. But you never know, maybe the screener will somehow connect with my obscure lyrics.-Andy

[heinsite]

hi andy, nice to meet you,actually IMHO i like the chorus, but the hook line as has been said up there is no sinker ma'am.you need to lose the tether, the lines want cross, the roots won't pull just don't help what you're trying to say--not at all. no offense please--"my heart wants to jump that fence?" you are trying too hard IMHO, just too hard.the good thing is i personally think, you have a good structure here, it's just the lyrics just aren't "real" enough, no matter how much the meaning behind them may be real.i've listened to this now 3 times, and did NOT read the lyrics until now...and i think, well... my comments stand...i do like the harmony, the lead vocal is very well sung, but again, it's the lyrics that are the problem here to my ears."just 'cuz i know betterdoesn't mean we'll be together" or just about anything but that tether line...and again, no offense...it's a great start...the best,warren

[mojobone]

I'm right there with CJ on this, though I think the hook melody is there, the progression, the performance, barring some excessive sibilance in the verses, but lyrically not a home run yet, jes'a a ground-rule double. Plus, when sung with any country accent at all, "lines want crossed" comes out "lines won't cross", which is confusing, and confusing ain't good. (Also think the "my heart wants to jump that fence" is pretty good imagery, or appropriate for the listing/genre at least.) If this comes back, re-work the lyrics and set the hook, I predict you'll land a whopper.

[ontariolightning]

sounds more like a faith hill recording than michelle branchjust my opinion!

[feaker]

andyGot some good suggestions so far.I liked the song and can see a few of the slight flaws.Voice was good, but a little something funky going on there.I am pulling for you. Nice to meet ya.Paul

[cameron]

Hi Andy,I know you've already said you're fixing it, but I had no idea what "lines want crossed" meant until someone else clarified it.The instrumentation (especially the piano)and vocals are fine, but I tend to agree that the hook isn't quite there yet. Also, musically, I kept thinking a chord change would be nice during the third line of the verse instead of using the same chords all the way though the verses.The lyrics in the verses worked fine for me.Pretty impressive, just not quite there yet imho.Cameron