Nervous & needing feedback...(updated) parts 1-4

[stevev]

Hey Ted,No problem...good luck with it. Thanks for the welcome - I've seen you over on JPF as well.Steve V

[geo]

Numero uno

[rlcmusic]

Hi Ted,Listened quite a few times to both of these and if this was mine, I would put the studio on hold and definitely get some lyrics to it (I've read your above posts re: the piece but it's really calling for a Singing Fox). Assuming this would make the 'song' longer, you'd then have the whole picture to decide on production. Just as a side note - I imagine the accompanying lyrics being intense/emotional but not "dark/down or sad".And.....I would also experiment with the 2 styles....I can actually hear a possibility of the song being 90% the 1st version (rhythm) and then at the end....you have told your story.....it wasn't depressing......and then the song ends on the swung rhythm with a more laid back/relaxed feel. I can even hear you humming it out - I liked the humming!....an ending (a humming) that says "that's the way it's gonna be" type attitude...... This could maybe add some nice contrast and the element of being "a bit different".Good luck whatever you decide.Rach

[thaman]

i also vote for #1...the second one might work, though, if you use different instruments other than the acoustic gr. to accent the triplet feel. songwriting-wise, i say get rid of the minor chords man - the appeal of the song will jump a lot if you keep the "positive" feel. hope that helps,raman

[ragani]

Hey, Ted--I like them both, and I had the crazy idea of maybe mixing a few pieces of the second rhythm track into the first song-- like for the chorus part, or for the grand finale or something... Not sure how it would sound, but it was an idea I had as I was listening. We did that on a song of ours (one that we recorded twice through with two entirely different beats), and I loved how it sounded when we pasted the rhythm variation into a section of the song when it really starts to move...I also agree with Derek, as I hear this song as a vocal song too (though always could be an instrumental without the vocals and still have a lead instrument). I'll bet some of the songwriting wizards on this forum could whip up some terrific lyrics. It has such an easy flow to it, and I it just calls out my own creativity to hum along with you! Great start, Ted! I hope you recover your vocals soon too. Though it was fun to hear you humming so sweetly... Raags

[tedsingingfox]

Wow. Thanks, y'all. I was hoping for some feedback, but I NEVER expected it to be so one-sided. But I ALSO consider that an ENORMOUS compliment to the way I first wrote that tune. Thank you.OK, so here's part 2...This was originally written as a 6/8 ballad, but the very first time I tried to play it in this format, I was HOOKED. This is the one and only version of this one I have anymore. I realize I'm not humming a melody on this one, but to my ears, the chord progression sorta sings it's own melody (if that makes any sense).I Truly don't know what to title this one, but it just felt like one of those moments when somebody you love says to you, "Take Care of yourself", and your ONLY reply is: "Yeah, you, too."So I call this "You, too."http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... 5&stream=1

[tedsingingfox]

And this is part 3:I can't help myself...I have to tell you that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this one.Also written as a 6/8 ballad originally, but this is the one and only version of this one I have ANY interest in recording. And I realize I'm not humming a melody here, either, but it's terrific...trust me. (purely an oversight on my part. Sorry.) Actually, on this one, I'm more interested in knowing if I've done a decent job of capturing the mood/feel/musical concept of a bluegrass train.(Forgive me for my pathetic attempt at sounding like "train" rhythm at the beginning...)I want to call this EITHER "Mountain Train" or "Uphill Train".Let me know.Thanks, again, y'all.http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... tream=1Ted

[tedsingingfox]

And here's part 4...Me, personally, I like the "Jersey Stroll" version of this one, and I LOVE the Irish arrangement...But this is pretty much how it was originally written.My feeling all along has been that the VERY last three notes of the melody ought to be the words "I Love You", so the whole song is waiting to hear those words... So I call this one"Just Say It"http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=1Thanks, again, for taking the time... Ted

[mazz]

Ted,I like version one of Still the One because it seems to support the emotion of the melody. I think you've got a winner there. Love the harmonic structure.You Too is very good. I'd put this in the Americana genre as it seems to be defined in the Library business. I think it will work well as a background to a driving scene or something like that. It doesn't need a melody.Train is very cool. For me the changes come a bit too quickly but I didn't hear the melody. I'd like to hear a couple more repetitions before you go to the 2/4 bars (sounds like you're playing Bb to C in those bars to my ears, don't have perfect pitch though). If the melody is as good as you say it is (and I don't have any reason to doubt you) then it might work out just fine.The last piece is nice too. Again Americana, wide open spaces. Warm, heartfelt. Consider putting your humming in there in unison with whatever instrument is going to do the lead. At least you'd have that texture if you wanted it, you can put it in the mix or not. I bet you can get it in one or two takes anyway. I love wordless vocals used as instruments and to me, it would work here.OK that's my 2 cents. Have a great time in the studio. I can't wait to hear the finished products!!John

[tedsingingfox]

Quote:Train is very cool. For me the changes come a bit too quickly but I didn't hear the melody. I'd like to hear a couple more repetitions before you go to the 2/4 bars (sounds like you're playing Bb to C in those bars to my ears, don't have perfect pitch though). If the melody is as good as you say it is (and I don't have any reason to doubt you) then it might work out just fine.Not exactly sure what you're meaning by "the 2/4 bars" ( a basic knowledge of music theory might come in handy for me here), but I SURE DO appreciate the feedback.Thanks, my friend.Ted