New Member: Modern Pop song review

[Zaychi]

I would love it if you could go into greater detail about the developmental arc. Are you referring to the music itself, or the "story" as it were? Thanks.

What I mean is, the verses are too much the same, you could almost double each verse, and the same thing happens again in each one. It would be good if there was more varioation musically, if the song was going somewhere.

[darkbluerooms]

Somehow this thread has split into another thread. I'll try to get it back on track here.

If I said this was an R&B song instead of a pop song would that make a difference?

The phrase "commercial arrangement" is not useful for me, as I'm afraid that reads to me like an upward moving ramp, which is not what I would describe these type of songs as. That works for rock and power pop, but not these laid back hybrid pop songs. Please listen to Lauv's "I like me better", Ariana Grande's "34+35" and any random SZA song for reference. Not saying this song is as good as any of that, but some of these songs don't even have intros and as far as I can tell, don't have massive standout changes in the music throughout. If you've never heard of/listened to/or don't like any of the music from the 3 artists referenced above, this might not be a song you can provide much useful feedback for.

I needed an explicit understanding of what was perceived as repetitive. The lyrics (which are very repetitive, only the A verse is different) or the music. It's music, it's repetitive by nature. Sometimes that's ok, sometimes it's not.

There's a fine line between what you would do or like, and what is good for the song. There's also a fine line between what a songwriter thinks is important and the audience/screener does. None of us will ever truly know where that line is, hahaha. Remember this is not for a submission, just a song I'm working on and planning to release soon.

With that said, there's a new version coming this weekend. It will be mixed.

Last but not least, because I am a writer, I've been workshopping this idea, cuz I've been laughing about it for a week.

A songwriter in 2021 saying they don't like Autotune is like a mainstream songwriter in 1981 saying they hate reverb and synthesizers. That might be their preference, but I'd be curious how many placements they ended up getting.

[darkbluerooms]

Actually that much more detailed explanation helps me a lot. My bad for not giving references to begin with, again, I'm a noob. I'm learning now, that having a point of reference goes a long way for get actionable critiques. I can take that information and do something with it, and I will. Thank you.

[Zaychi]

A songwriter in 2021 saying they don't like Autotune is like a mainstream songwriter in 1981 saying they hate reverb and synthesizers.

I never said I disliked autotune, in fact I'm using it myself; what I said was I dislike the WAY you used it. If you want to make the 1981 comparison, it's like drowning stuff in cathedral reverb and then saying you don't appreciate criticism from people who are backward because they say that doesn't fit, or saying someone dislikes violins because he made a comment on bowing technique or sample quality.

No, I'm not really "into" this kind of music; but in my experience, getting criticism from people who aren't is almost as valuable as "insiders". Many production values are universal, they're just slightly flavored towards specific genres. But if you want, I can refrain from commenting on your threads in the future?

[darkbluerooms]

You didn't say you don't like autotune, but someone else did. But if you think I was referring to you I can't do anything with that. I was making a general point. I'm not going to go into a metal post and bother to mention that I don't like distorted guitars. That's useless information, and a personal preference that is completely irrelevant to the task at hand.

I doubt there'll be many more forum posts from me for anyone to comment on, but I will at least see this one through. I generally don't have a problem with advice or critiques, but I don't need opinions. "Your singing at 2:12 is off key" is a real observation. "I don't like the bass sound" is not. "The bass is distorted" is a real observation. I hope everyone in here can understand the difference between the examples I just listed.

I just want relevant feedback, it's up to you to determine if your opinion is of value, and for me to do the same.

I don't know what anyone in here listens to, but there are a few things in my production that I have absolute confidence in. I won't list them all, but one of them is that there's not something "off" or "wrong" with the vocal in the intro. I realize that it's just your opinion, the question is do you realize that? Can you ask yourself, do you have enough exposure to music that would use a sound like that to make that assessment? Have you heard any Young Thug lately? Cuz that stuff sounds pretty weird to me.

Frame of context is important. I posted a pop song on the forum, mistakenly thinking some people on Taxi who make modern pop might comment on it. My mistake...

BUT, I'm still posting the new version anyway before the weekend is over, LOL!

[Zaychi]

Wow, there's really no arguing with you, eh? Well, lets just say you're right on all points and get it over with. Goodbye.

[darkbluerooms]

Thanks for all the feedback. Both constructive and otherwise. It's all valuable in the end. I was able to implement some of it in this new version.

Here's the latest version of the song: https://www.taxi.com/members/PgHbWEmaSJ ... -1000-cuts

And the first for reference: https://www.taxi.com/members/PgHbWEmaSJ ... arly-demo-