New Member: Modern Pop song review

[darkbluerooms]

Hi folks,

I'm new here and I've been browsing different feedback threads, and I've found it to be quite on point for most people who have requested critiques. So, I'm dipping my toe in, hoping to get some opinions on a song I'm currently working on. It's not for a specific listing, as I've overwhelmingly been working on instrumentals on that front.

It's an attempt at a modern Top 40-esque Pop song. Vocals are largely unedited at this point, and I've removed all backgrounds except for the chorus. The mix is a rough mix (literally no levels other than the vocals have been adjusted), but thoughts on the production, vocal performance, and overall vibe would be greatly appreciated. Thanks ahead of time.

https://www.taxi.com/members/PgHbWEmaSJ ... -1000-cuts

[songmaster]

First of all, welcome to Taxi This is a great place to get all kinds of advice and help. I am not a studio guy, so I will let other people comment on that. I think the mix is cool and I listened to the song all the way to the end and really enjoyed it. I think it is very hooky and the lyrics were spot on for this type of tune. Hopefully you will get some more feedback from others who write this kind of pop music. Nice job!

Tom

[cassmcentee]

Nice Tune!
This is a Mono Mix... Time to do some Stereo Panning

[darkbluerooms]

Hey,

Thank you both for taking a listen. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated.

Yes, I know the mix is not panned. I don't start panning until I actually start mixing, . I plan to post a proper mix when I get to that point, but was mostly looking for creative input at the moment, i.e. glairing pitch issues, lackluster lyrics, too few sounds, etc. as I personally like to fully separate the songwriting/songbuilding process from the mixing process. I'm of the belief that regardless of the genre a person is most comortable in, those structural and performance issues will still be noticeable. A song that needs work, needs work. Whether it's rap, pop, country, or jazz. Then again, there are a lot of rap songs that I would say need work that are top 10 hits, so what do I know.

[darkbluerooms]

Thanks for the input Telefunkin,

I've been strongly planning to add at least one major melodic element to the track, and I am trying to figure out some things on giving the verse a little more swing. My old composer brain wants to add more sounds to the chorus, but the new composer brain has noticed a lot of modern songs that actually go sparse for parts of the chorus musically. I didn't provide a reference in my initial post, but I would say I'm thinking alot about Ariana Grande's 34+35 when I'm trying to build this song, though the subject matter is quite different. There are a lot of strings in it, so the sonic characters is a bit different, but the overall swing and vibe is what I'm trying to achieve. I will tinker with the arrangement and drums and see if it brings a little more energy. Much appreciated.

[Zaychi]

The melodyned vocal in the intro and outro completely doesn't work for me, it feels like you're trying to copy modern producers but you haven't got the hang of it yet, and in the end it takes an otherwise pretty good vocal down.

It's hard to understand what kind of comments you're looking for when you say it is "unmixed", for example, I guess you realize the 808 is way too loud in the mix right now?

Overall, the song seems to miss some sort of development arc, and I feel it stays in the same space most of the time.

[darkbluerooms]

Hey Zaychi,

Yeah, the vocal in the intro is a formant shift with Little Alter Boy and some Autotune. It is definitely an intentionally chaotic shift, and frankly is probably my favorite sounding thing in the song. That weird "glitch" on the second phrase is not an accident.

In regards to the 808, yes that's a great example of something I am aware is way too loud. Again, trying to see past the mix to the song itself, though I understand these days it's harder and harder to separate the two. I didn't think this rough version would harm anyone's ears in the mixing department, but there will be changes.

I figured this would be a good spot to get some opinions before I finalize the vocals and start mixing. I like the idea of getting thoughts on something that isn't as far along, as I'm usually only lucky enough to hear opinions after I've released something.
At that point it's too late !

Since I'm new here, I want see who is listening, and what they have to say. I've listened to some of your instrumentals from one of your posts, for example, and I can tell you know how to make music and compose. Even if it's a completely different genre, you have skill. So it's valuable to hear your thoughts. I'm kind of on an island by myself over here. I would love it if you could go into greater detail about the developmental arc. Are you referring to the music itself, or the "story" as it were? Thanks.

[swdaze]

Hi, welcome aboard.

Like the vocal (without the effect) but you need to make the chorus stand out more, IDK drop out the drums under "1000 cuts" might be an idea.

I hate the bass sound.

Its a good start be interested to hear a more polished version.

Geo

[NMN]

Hi folks,

I'm new here and I've been browsing different feedback threads, and I've found it to be quite on point for most people who have requested critiques. So, I'm dipping my toe in, hoping to get some opinions on a song I'm currently working on. It's not for a specific listing, as I've overwhelmingly been working on instrumentals on that front.

It's an attempt at a modern Top 40-esque Pop song. Vocals are largely unedited at this point, and I've removed all backgrounds except for the chorus. The mix is a rough mix (literally no levels other than the vocals have been adjusted), but thoughts on the production, vocal performance, and overall vibe would be greatly appreciated. Thanks ahead of time.

https://www.taxi.com/members/PgHbWEmaSJ ... -1000-cuts

Hello darkbluerooms, certainly sounds professional already! This is not a genre I often listen to so take these comments for what they're worth but overall it has a nice, smooth dance sound and doesn't seem overproduced. I like the instrumentation. My only suggestions are:

• This has already been mentioned but the bass is too loud, especially on the first beat where it distorts.

• The song ends kind of abruptly. This is not necessarily a bad thing but might benefit from some crescendo production at the end

• Possibly some high-register background vocals (male or female)

Also, I don't personally like auto-tune, however, I hear it used sparingly and as a production effect so the usage in this song is not really off-putting to me. Best of luck with the tune!

[irthlingz]

I would love it if you could go into greater detail about the developmental arc. Are you referring to the music itself, or the "story" as it were?

Since you asked about "story" -- I think lyrically it might benefit from more "beginning-middle-end" or "start-build-release". It feels more like circling the topic rather than starting somewhere and going somewhere.

Also, I wonder whether it might be possible to connect some of the other lyrics to the "dying of 1000 cuts" idea - maybe something like "baby I know that in one minute you could heal 1000 cuts"? (yours, no charge )

JM2C

===
Michael