please review/advise

[adamstrings]

I recorded "My World Revolves Around You" a few years back, and would now like to record a version that I can attempt to place with a listing. Unless I hear otherwise, I'll assume this recording's not up to the quality needed to get a "forward."Questions;1-Do you think i can get away with a loop for this style, or do i definitely need live drums?2-Can you name a song you would recommend me imitating as far as arrangement?3- rate the lyrics-they are at he end of this message.4-Should this singer(me) be performing the song?I welcome answers to any/all of these Q's.Thanks guys.Adamwww.myspace.com/adamhymanmusic MY WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOUYou are right behind meYou're my light, and you're shining on me nowAnywhere you find meI'm lost without your loveOnce I lay in darknessHalf-asleep 'til you woke me with a kissGave me all that I missedAnd lost me in your loveCHORUS:WELL EVERYWHERE YOU GOAND EVERYTHING YOU DOI WANT TO BE THERE TOOCAUSE YOU KNOW...MY WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOUNothing could prevent meFrom shouting out you were meant for only meYou're what heaven sent meTo wrap me in your love CHORUSI can hear you say "why do I feel this way"If you could only see yourself through my loving eyesThen you'd finally see just what you mean to meI'll keep on trying 'til you cry the way I cryYou're the strongest powerThink of you every minute, every hourTurn the rain into a sweet sun showerAnd drown me in your loveCHORUS

[djb]

Adam, The song is good. Simply stated with a fairly sparse arrangement. May be all it needs. I liked the harmonies at the end alot. As for the drum loop,I always prefer live drums but that doesn't mean you have to have them to get a forward. Hard to predict a forward. What listing are you thinking of? Welcome to the forum. Dave

[ideascapes]

Hey Adam,Nice song and I think your voice can carry it fine. The answer to your drum question depends on whether you want to pitch the song to other artists as a demo (works fine), or whether you're looking for broadcast placements (probably need live drums for a fuller bottom end). For the broadcast listings, I think you'll also need a more powerful sound all around. What you've done in the bridge is pretty close. The simple approach can work, but you'd probably need a more interesting arrangement (stops and starts, less regular instrumentation, etc.).Good luck!Vince

[adamstrings]

Thanks Dave, thanks Vince. You both have good sound advice. I don't/didn't have any particular forward in mind. Just a desire to see the song get to one. Of course live drums is best and would then appeal to a wider number of listings...it's just the money and time, as you know. I think my voice works ok for this-wondering who do you think this song should be pitched to, style-wise speaking? A David Archuleta type or a David Cook(then i better find a different singer)?If anyone out there has a thought about this, it would help[ steer me in a more focused direction...Adam

[musicliner]

Vocal is fine, the song works. Production quality, though, needs to catch up. The good thing is that the song allows for different treatments (pop-rock to AC)Good effort.

[adamstrings]

Thanks Musicliner! Well, that's why I want to get back in the studio-as Dirty Harry said, "the production ain't makin' it." Curious what you(or anyone else) thinks of the chorus lyrics-are they as good as the verses?

[derekmcfarland]

Nice work- Good luck with this.I agree with other posters about production. Needs energy. You may also consider a faster tempo?I think lyrics are OK for Pop/Rock.My best,Derek

[adamstrings]

Hi Derek and thanks for weighing in. Yes, I plan on recording a few clicks faster-thanks for giving your opinion on lyrics. I just listened to 'A Fool In The Middle." I enjoyed it so much I'll be revisiting it and trying out your other tunes too. One thing I like about joining the forums; I'm checking out country music for the first time!ThanksAdam

[shawncullen]

I like this alot as a song. Like others have said I think it needs padding out and making fuller. Voice is fine for the song - just nice simple setiments for the lyrics which like alot.You should check out some of my songs as I think there is alot we have in common.Let me know what you think.Good luck with this. Shawn

[adamstrings]

Hey Shawn;Thanks for your input. Even if you agree, it helps to see if opinions are overwhelmingly the same-very helpful. I couldn't find a link to your songs. Send one!Adam