Joke of the Minute...

[davekershaw]

Just had new bathrooms fitted.We decided to have his and hers.You should see hers!

[squids]

I bet those'd be backbreakin'. Heh.

[partyofone]

wow!

[remmet]

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. Dick, the bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the workday approached, the bartender was dismayed to find he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri, Dick!" "No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

[liamkelly]

Nov 27, 2008, 11:31pm, remmet wrote:A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the workday approached, the bartender was dismayed to find he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc." That's bad, remmet. In a good way

[nomiyah]

A European told me this joke after Thanksgiving dinner:Him: What do you call someone who speaks two languages?Me: Bilingual.Him: Right. What do you call someone who speaks three languages?Me: Trilingual?Him: Yes, very good. What do you call someone who speaks one language?Me: Ummm, I don't know.Him: American.

[davekershaw]

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

[nomiyah]

Dec 2, 2008, 5:10am, davekershaw wrote:Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'The man replied, 'These are Carols.' Ho! Ho! Ho! 'Tis the season for jokes like these.

[nomiyah]

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?It's Christmas, EveHow do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ? Tell him a joke on Christmas EveWhat do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ? The letter "D"What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ? Santa ClaustrophobiaWhat do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?Black mail

[davekershaw]

Quote:What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?Black mail