Joke of the Minute...

[davekershaw]

Those walk on water lessons were worth every penny!

[ibanez468]

Unusual FuneralA woman was leaving a convenience store with hermorning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.A long black hearse was followed by a second longblack hearse about 50 feet behind thefirst one. Behind the second hearse was a solitarywoman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.The woman was so curious that she respectfullyapproached the woman walking the dog and said,"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is abad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this.Whosefuneral is it?""My husband's.""What happened to him?"The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She wastrying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women."Can I borrow the dog?" asked the one woman.The other woman looks back and says "Get in line."

[ernstinen]

Dec 3, 2008, 6:06pm, ibanez468 wrote:Unusual FuneralHaHaHa! Good one, 468!Ern

[davekershaw]

Quote:The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She wastrying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."I like this joke!

[davekershaw]

I'm tired of paying the mortgage, utility bills, income tax and so on and so on.... I want to live more simply, pack everything up and move into a travel-trailer.I don't mind being called 'trailer trash', but I want to get your opinion.

[byllsong]

These are nice Dave.I have one just like it...only in blue.

[davekershaw]

Hey! Fancy a road trip then!

[ibanez468]

Dec 4, 2008, 8:47am, davekershaw wrote:Quote:The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She wastrying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."I like this joke! I knew you would!

[coachdebra]

OK - I got this one from my parents - tells you a little something about how I was raised! A, C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar.The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural. Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest—and so he closes the bar.

[davekershaw]

Dec 4, 2008, 8:06pm, coachdebra wrote:OK - I got this one from my parents - tells you a little something about how I was raised! A, C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar.Wow! B et that one takes some remembering at a party!