Re: Moral Support for Songwriters

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 5:58 pm

Hi, LMias. Welcome to the board. I've learned not to ask people what they think of my hobby. Yes, it's nice to be supported....sure, we all love kudos. But really, when you think about it, what percentage of the population writes songs anyway? Maybe 1 percent? So being that most of the people around you aren't songwriters, they're just not going to understand your passion. And when people don't understand something, problems can arise. For instance, my mother-in-law LOVES to talk about knitting. It bores me to tears, but I'll give her some support anyway by saying, 'well, how's that sweater you're knitting coming along?" She gets SO excited when I ask that question, and you can just hear the enthusiasm spilling out of her....the woman is a knitting dynamo. She does the same for me....she asks how my songwriting is going, and I get all passionate, but I can tell the topic of songwriting doesn't jazz her either. Many times, she'll cut me off in mid sentence not because she's being non-supportive....she just isn't interested. She doesn't care about how I write a bridge or that I'm struggling with that 2nd verse, hehe....she cares about what color knitting thread she's going to use in her next sweater. Let's face it....if you love a hobby, you will be jazzed by it, and since ninety nine percent of people don't write songs, they really can't understand what that pursuit means to you. It's good that you stumbled upon this community....if you stick around long enough, you'll make some new friends.I've actually made friends on this forum that I chat with via the telephone. I look foward to and relish those conversations because we're on the 'same wavelength'....that is, we eat, drink and sleep songwriting, although we talk about life outside of music too.So find a friend here with the same interests as you, and you won't feel so freaky, hehe. It's wonderful to have a network of people who love to write songs, play music...that is why this board is so special for most of us. It lessens that feeling of being isolated.

dayson1 · Post by **dayson1** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 6:00 pm

HI LMias:)Seems you've come to the right place! Welcome:))I am very sorry to hear about your ordeal. You're not alone as you might think. I believe there are plenty Songwriters who have the same feelings as you do.. Some feel that way even when they do have support from friends and loved ones:)Sometimes it feels like it's you against the world. As I was reading your letter, I was thinking "She should make a copy of this and give it to her significant other and her best-friend"I think they would have a better understanding of your true feelings.It takes Courage to live out your dreams, many people can feel threatened by it-for the simple fact that they might not be living out theirs.I pray that you continue on your Courageous pursuit of your dream!Sometimes it's impossible to make another person, even ones we love understand how important this can be to us..You might have to accept that they may never understand or care to, but you must continue on no matter what!It sounds to me like Songwriting is in your blood, and that you can't be anything but, and that's inspiring to me! I would love to hear something that you have been working on...Feel free to Contact me anytime, I would be willing to be a wing to lift you up during those frustrating moments. I encourage you to hang around here, there are SO many wonderful people here! They are most gracious with their time and talent, hope to see you around the board!My name is Dana by the way.

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 6:04 pm

Quote:HI LMias:)Seems you've come to the right place! Welcome:))I am very sorry to hear about your ordeal. You're not alone as you might think. I believe there are plenty Songwriters who have the same feelings as you do.. Some feel that way even when they do have support from friends and loved ones:)Sometimes it feels like it's you against the world. As I was reading your letter, I was thinking "She should make a copy of this and give it to her significant other and her best-friend"I think they would have a better understanding of your true feelings.It takes Courage to live out your dreams, many people can feel threatened by it-for the simple fact that they might not be living out theirs.I pray that you continue on your Courageous pursuit of your dream!Sometimes it's impossible to make another person, even ones we love understand how important this can be to us..You might have to accept that they may never understand or care to, but you must continue on no matter what!It sounds to me like Songwriting is in your blood, and that you can't be anything but, and that's inspiring to me! I would love to hear something that you have been working on...Feel free to Contact me anytime, I would be willing to be a wing to lift you up during those frustrating moments. I encourage you to hang around here, there are SO many wonderful people here! They are most gracious with their time and talent, hope to see you around the board!My name is Dana by the way.Now that was so sweet, Dana! This is the kind of support I'm talkin' about, and that's why this place is so great.

gwenknittweis · Post by **gwenknittweis** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 7:37 pm

Jchitty and Dana,Thank you so much for your kind and supportive responses. I actually cried as I read them. I can see that I need to participate in this forum. You both sound much stronger and grounded in your "songwritership" than I feel right now. I'm inspired and hope someday to feel that confident. I've been strong in other convictions in my life, but I'm not at the point that I don't care what other people (especially those I'm close to) think of this pursuit. Thank heavens there are kindred spirits out there and I have found some of them! I don't know what it is that makes those of us who are compelled to write have to, but it is an undeniable force of nature for me. When I have been at seminars or read books (such as Rilkes' "Letters to a Young Poet" which I highly recommend), I have heard some writers say that it is not a choice- they write because they have to. It is like oxygen. Whether it is journaling or "dreaded" songwriting (just joking) it seems to be the only way to process life for me. I look forward to more participation in this forum and will even be so bold as to post a song (once I figure out how to do that) next time. Talk soon. Bless you, LM

sgs4u · Post by **sgs4u** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:28 pm

hi LHMiasThis is a link to the 3rd week challenge in a program I started with a gal named Debra Russell. she contacted me because of something i wrote here on this forum. Strangely enough, this weeks subject is "Lack of support in your life for your dreams!http://artists-edge.com/files/challenge ... ms.pdfHave a look, and then check her out!Debra's website is http://Artists-Edge.com and her email Artists-Edge@Artists-Edge.com, welcome to the Taxi forumsteve

matto · Post by **matto** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:55 pm

LHM,this IS the support forum for discouraged songwriters! If it wasn't such a slow time with the holidays and all, you would've gotten even a lot more of a response.Please stick around and we'll help you in ANY way we can. I think there are plenty of songwriters who feel the way you do, and plenty of spouses or significant others who don't get what we do. Some may just be better at covering up their indifference. I don't think they even begin to understand what a struggle trying to succeed in our field really is, even under the best of circumstances. They don't understand that belittling our aspirations can be just about the worst thing they could do to us.I encourage you to continue your pursuit no matter what, I can feel your passion for it. Come here and lean on us whenever you need support you don't get in your normal circle of friends. And I encourage you in the strongest possible way to do everything in your power to attend next year's Taxi Road Rally in November. The wave of support you'll feel from this event will easily carry you thru an entire year out in the poker-playing-baby-showering wastelands... Miraculous things can happen when you believe in your dreams, visualize your success, work your butt off and simply don't take no for an answer. I'm living proof of that!Matt

deantaylor · Post by **deantaylor** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 12:46 am

LMias,I hear you!!! Come aboard. Share a song with us in the PEER TO PEER section. Keep writing (songs and posts). It will all work out. I've made some great friends and supporters over the internet .. on this board and others like it. They mean so much to me. I've been 'on-line' with my music since 2003. I also collaborate a lot .. that gives me a great 'team' feeling. Sometimes we get 4-5 people working on one song: lyricist, composer, singer, producer ... It is fun and productive. Try that too someday.Dean

squids · Post by **squids** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:47 am

LMias, it's nice to meetcha! And what a wonderful discussion topic. Like Matto said, if there weren't more folks off for Christmas, we'd be beating them back with a stick to keep from flooding this thread. I've known a few songwriters in my time and very few of them have partners who truly understand how difficult this field is to succeed in (ask Matto how hard it is). I think there might be a little competition there. After all, as a friend once commented about my husband's vague distancing comments about my writing and performing, "he knows you were in love with music before you were in love with him." Ding! Lightbulb! Everyone has passions. But imagine a world where the airwaves were flooded with knitting (heh, chits )or poker or pool or constant news or whatever. Fun? Maybe. But there's a reason people listen to music and it's been such a huge industry for so long. It's passion incarnate. And has been mentioned on this forum (ad nauseum ), you can't do this without an almost unbelievable amount of passion and dedication. I bet, should you become megasuccessful, he'll believe you. I now have a "dont' ask, don't tell" policy at my house. I do what I can when I can musically, try to uphold my standards writing and keep on going. As the Arabs used to say, "dogs bark but the caravan moves on." And yes, absolutely, meeting folks here on the forums was like someone opened a window in a dusty room, for me. It was so great to talk to people who love songwriting as much as I do (bet some of them even more than I do). Made me feel less of an oddity in my neighborhood.

anne · Post by **anne** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:53 am

LMias - welcome to the boards. I was in the same "place" as you until I found Taxi. The difference, as Chitty mentioned, is that most people have a hard time separating a hobby from a start-up business, and don't understand that creating music is something that you really have to work hard to learn. Your songwriting is just like building a business that you are passionate about but that few other people would understand how to run. Keep learning and doing what you are doing but use these boards for support. Otherwise you are trying to find something in your friends and relatives that just doesn't exist - you may as well be speaking a foreign language to them and expect them to understand what your saying!I'm sorry to hear that your friend didn't come to your gig - I know that sinking feeling, but you'll find your fan base as you keep performing. cheers - Anne

ddusty · Post by **ddusty** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 6:02 am

Hiya LMias,i think your plight has hit home with a lot of us (like minded freaks).I had very similar issues with girlfriends, although mine were more with performing. In the beginning they love coming to gigs, but that wears off fast. Unfortunately my solutions won't work for you, i married another musician! I realized i needed someone who would understand the importance of rehearsals and practice. Now the biggest problem we have is we are together to much, as we are both home all day. (she is way more prolific at writing then i am, she loves when i go play poker, so she can write!)My best suggestion for you, is send you husband off to play poker as often as you can... those will be perfect nights for songwriting!As for your friends, i have friends that don't come out to gigs at all. It does hurt me that they do not support me by attending shows, but everyone is a little different and i try to focus on the ways they do support me. If they were not there for me in other ways, then I wouldn't care if they showed up or not.For better or worse you are a Song Writer. With a little time pitching through TAXI (and other avenues) you may get all the validation you need!Keep it up!Glad you are on the boards.Rob