Dead Woman Walking

[jchitty]

I'm starting a You Tube project, and I'm wondering what y'all think of this song. It's VERY raw...I don't claim to be able to play my guitar well, if at all. My voice is quirky too and I'm not a glamour girl. My main goal is to lure other songwriters and singers on You Tube to sing my songs.... to get my lyrics out there. You can be honest with your thoughts too, don't pull any punches. I can take it.Here are the words and my You Tube link if anyone's interested in giving me their thoughts. This is a pretty gritty song about a woman leaving an abusive relationship. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRYuYiuJUooDead Woman WalkingVerse 1Tried to beat me down With those words that cut me like a knifeAfter three long years with youI'm finally running for my lifeDon't know how I landed in this positionBut I'm breaking out of this cellI found the key and under no conditionWill I linger in this hellChorus:'Coz I'm a dead woman walkingDead woman walkingAnd something's snapped inside meI hear that warning bellSo you can stop all your talkingTo this dead woman walkingI'm getting out nowI'm gonna save myselfVerse 2Stayed with you for crazy reasonsAnd misguided loyaltyLoving the wrong man Will blind you to some harsh realtiesAnd if I linger in this hellI might as well let you pull that switchNot gonna tolerate another hateful wordComing from your lipsRepeat chorus

[michael11]

Hi Chits,great to see ya,it makes it all the more real.I love your accent,you sound like a real Country singer. I love the song and I think your voice is great!!and the only negative thing is,get your geetar chops better as quick as you can because you should be looking at your audience (us) not your fretboard.Michael.PS, I need some words when your ready.

[k o star]

hey Chits... I really like Ur voice... I think it's pretty rich!and it goes very well with this genre...The song is potentially strong... and I think with a little more production... adding another guitar at the chorus parts, perhaps a lead type... and a live string player... would bring it up another notch...Only thing is I wished that instead of using the word "dead"... I felt I wanted to hear a more positive word... hmmm, I kinda understand that perhaps "dead" is an expression of being dead to the abuser... so, maybe it's appropriate for the meaning of this track and I guess it's just a personal preference that I wanted to hear something more positive in terms of describing someone who's spreading their wings to fly away from a negative situation...Good work though...-Kel

[jchitty]

Hey, Michael and Kel....thanks for the great critiques....they really help! I think y'all are both in agreement that my guitar skills could improve, hehe. I agree with you both there....Kel, I may go recruit my guitar teacher to play with me in some of these videos. I just don't have great guitar skills, but I'm practicing a little more. I never really wanted to play the guitar, just learn chords to have my songs professionally demoed by someone else, but I realize now I'm gonna have to learn the play better whether I like that or not. Right now, 'the Carter strum' is about the only strum I can do....but you're right, the chorus would probably sound better with another guitar added.As far as the 'dead' word went, well, I wanted this song to be darker in tone than usual. Not so much an inspiring song, but a truth telling song. I'll think about changing 'dead' though if it's not working, but it's a play on the words, 'dead man walking,' so I'll probably keep it. It's also about how the woman knows she's gonna die inside if she stays with this verbally abusive person.....so she's getting out before she lets the guy 'pull the switch.' (in metaphorical terms anyway)Michael, I'll try to write some lyrics for ya...can't guarantee I can come up with anything since I'm a 'blueplate special of the day kind of gal,' my lyrics and music sort of come all together in one piece, but I can give it a shot....so send me a melody.

[lyricboy]

Chits,Can't listen right now. Wifey is vacuuming. I like the story, though.Plug in "I'm walkin' to save myself" as the last line of the chorus and see if you like that. Then you get the DEAD Woman Walking AND the Dead Woman WALKING.Just a thought. GREAT to see you following through on your plans. Tell Bill HI.g

[heinsite]

hi CHITS!!!man, you got guts girl! you sound damn good on the tube thing, this one sounds more bluesy/or bonnie raitt than country. but i do like it! i too dig your accent you cutie you!ok, now you must know i have a tune called Dead Man Walking, but i'm not gunna get on youtube and sing it!! LOL...think i posted it a year or 4 ago...LOL..great job, great guts, keep it up, and good to "see " you!the best,warren

[jchitty]

Hey, no prob, Greg....I can understand....when we women vaccuum, the world comes to an end, hehe. Thanks Warren for your sweet comments....I'm pretty jazzed about my You Tube project....this morning when I woke up, I checked my You Tube page, and I've gotten two favorable comments on this song. So I'm having some fun.

[claire]

Years ago when I was a member of a local songwriters group here, someone brought in a song also called "Dead Woman Walking". Her's was horrible! It was about this desperate woman who would grab onto the poor mailman every time he delivered the mail, so she could wail about her husband and what a loser he was and how she was nothing but a dead woman walking. That said, yours is cool. Well written and cool. As with others, though, I wince at the "dead" thing. I had a song, also years ago, called "Dead From The Heart Up". The critiques I got were mostly that the word "dead" was a tough one to get around, even though mine was a tongue in cheek song.For what it's worth. It's early and the coffee hasn't kicked in yet...Claire

[feaker]

chitsThis was definitely cool. I think everyone likes the live performances because there is nowhere to hide. No pitch correction etc. Great way to get to know you better.Liked the song and you are singing much better all the time. Voice has appeal and just a few flat spots. Look up and smile.paul

[jchitty]

Hey, thanks Claire and Paul for the nice words....I appreciate them. Yeah, Claire, that 'dead' word does tend to bum people out....I don't know how to get around that since the song is a play on the phrase, 'dead man walking,' but it is something to ponder. I'm glad I didn't hear that other songwriter's 'Dead Woman Walking,"....it doesn't sound that appealing to me either. And Paul, yeah, I've been working on my voice...it still has a few kinks, I agree there. Glad you can hear my progress. I'll try to look up and smile more, but I'm still learnin' the guitar, so I can't take my eyes off that fret board yet.