Elvis and Bluebirds (country song)

[billg]

great sounding song! very good production . . . radio worthy i would say! but . . . . I'm also having a little bit of trouble hearing the big hook that everyone's gotta have for the radio masses. I'm not 100% there is a production fix (harmonies etc.) I think it's a melody thingy.

[jdhogg]

Thanks eo and billgAll your opinions are great food for thought.Keep it coming and dont hold back.Anyone is welcome to be as picky as possible.

[lestonal]

I need to start off by saying that I am not really an avid fan of the Country Music genre, but can respect something done well and to the cuff with the greatest of ease. As soon as the song started I was impressed with the production. Although little tid bits could have the ever so slight adjustments, but this really works as is to these ears and nitpicking the mix too much on a song like this, really is just because of personal preference rather than something held as gospel. But there are a few issues that I think need addressed to help better this song and better your craft in the future.The only comment I will make on the actual production and mixing of this track revolves around the lead vocals. Many times during the chorus section, his voice does that ever so redundant and cliche low Country drop. When this happens, the vocals become a tad bit lost in the mix and they lose the warmth and attention they had from my ears during the rest of the arrangement. The chorus is the most important part of any given song with vocals and to lose vocal integrity there is a terrible thing. There just wasn't enough separation between the chorus sections and the rest of the arrangement. I need to feel it, and well, it fell flat during those transitions. More dynamics please.This is one of those songs that is almost there. I mean, it is almost there. You have the excellent production (minus the vocal mixing issues I mentioned above and a few dynamic areas being needed) and you have an excellent arrangement with even better musical sections that hold a candle to just about any song in this genre. This is what baffles me... ...whoever produced and/or arranged this song did such a fantastic job across the board, yet seemed to jump over the chorus and allowed it to just get by. Why?This is one of those songs that upset me it isn't better. Is this song completed? If not, I would really like to hear the vocals mixed better in the chorus and here it comes.. ..a more defining hook presented. Like I've said a few times here already, this song is ALMOST there. ALMOST to where I would believe this thing to be extremely marketable to the Country audience.If I was to approach this song, and I'm not saying I'm any better than you are, I would tackle this piece from a more novel approach. The arrangement and the content are just screaming out NOVEL. Your hook would be found there and should rest nicely in the chorus. I've listened to this song 6 times already and each and every time I'm left feeling a bit unsatisfied. It's just right there....Think more NOVEL on this one. During the chorus sections, fix the vocal envelopes during the drops. BE Elvis in a subtle manner during the chorus, and I know you know what I mean. Maybe when you are saying ELVIS during the chorus, or the last line in general, it should be sung mocking the ever iconic voice we all know when we hear it. This is the kind of stuff music lovers get a kick out of and REMEMBER. To take this a step further, as soon as the song ends, in your best ELVIS voice, add a "thank you, thank you very much." That would just put the icing on the cake. The lyrics are just begging for the vocalist to do what I'm suggesting here. "Ain't there a little Elvis in you and me?" Well is there?I'm not buying it because I'm not hearing it. I don't believe you. When that line is sung, I want to hear that little bit of ELVIS in you. Bring it out. It would be fun and really help aid in a better hook for this song, because let's face it, this song has it all but that.I need to say I don't waste my time giving great suggestions unless I hear much potential in something. I hear that with this. Spit and polish, rinse and repeat and you will have one heck of a marketable Country tune.In its current state this song is not radio ready... ...but close. Fix the elements suggested above and I would easily change my mind about that. The radio wants candy. Think NOVEL.Good luck to you.

[benjamine]

May 13, 2009, 6:58am, lestonal wrote:I need to start off by saying that I am not really an avid fan of the Country Music genre, but can respect something done well and to the cuff with the greatest of ease. As soon as the song started I was impressed with the production. Although little tid bits could have the ever so slight adjustments, but this really works as is to these ears and nitpicking the mix too much on a song like this, really is just because of personal preference rather than something held as gospel. But there are a few issues that I think need addressed to help better this song and better your craft in the future.The only comment I will make on the actual production and mixing of this track revolves around the lead vocals. Many times during the chorus section, his voice does that ever so redundant and cliche low Country drop. When this happens, the vocals become a tad bit lost in the mix and they lose the warmth and attention they had from my ears during the rest of the arrangement. The chorus is the most important part of any given song with vocals and to lose vocal integrity there is a terrible thing. There just wasn't enough separation between the chorus sections and the rest of the arrangement. I need to feel it, and well, it fell flat during those transitions. More dynamics please.This is one of those songs that is almost there. I mean, it is almost there. You have the excellent production (minus the vocal mixing issues I mentioned above and a few dynamic areas being needed) and you have an excellent arrangement with even better musical sections that hold a candle to just about any song in this genre. This is what baffles me... ...whoever produced and/or arranged this song did such a fantastic job across the board, yet seemed to jump over the chorus and allowed it to just get by. Why?This is one of those songs that upset me it isn't better. Is this song completed? If not, I would really like to hear the vocals mixed better in the chorus and here it comes.. ..a more defining hook presented. Like I've said a few times here already, this song is ALMOST there. ALMOST to where I would believe this thing to be extremely marketable to the Country audience.If I was to approach this song, and I'm not saying I'm any better than you are, I would tackle this piece from a more novel approach. The arrangement and the content are just screaming out NOVEL. Your hook would be found there and should rest nicely in the chorus. I've listened to this song 6 times already and each and every time I'm left feeling a bit unsatisfied. It's just right there....Think more NOVEL on this one. During the chorus sections, fix the vocal envelopes during the drops. BE Elvis in a subtle manner during the chorus, and I know you know what I mean. Maybe when you are saying ELVIS during the chorus, or the last line in general, it should be sung mocking the ever iconic voice we all know when we hear it. This is the kind of stuff music lovers get a kick out of and REMEMBER. To take this a step further, as soon as the song ends, in your best ELVIS voice, add a "thank you, thank you very much." That would just put the icing on the cake. The lyrics are just begging for the vocalist to do what I'm suggesting here. "Ain't there a little Elvis in you and me?" Well is there?I'm not buying it because I'm not hearing it. I don't believe you. When that line is sung, I want to hear that little bit of ELVIS in you. Bring it out. It would be fun and really help aid in a better hook for this song, because let's face it, this song has it all but that.I need to say I don't waste my time giving great suggestions unless I hear much potential in something. I hear that with this. Spit and polish, rinse and repeat and you will have one heck of a marketable Country tune.In its current state this song is not radio ready... ...but close. Fix the elements suggested above and I would easily change my mind about that. The radio wants candy. Think NOVEL.Good luck to you. I agree with everything Les says and would reiterate, a of fix vocal envelopes during the drops."thank you, thank you very much."Benj is leaving the building.

[matthoggard]

I hear your title/hook being:"A little bit of ELVIS"Its pretty unique and would make most listeners at least be interested in hearing the whole song.As Cam said your hook has to pretty much JUMP OUT and grab us. My only real problem is that the melody ( especially in the verses ) is very meandering. It sounds as if a solid melody was'nt decided on and the singer is trying to find the part.At the end of most of the lines ( chorus ) the singer goes UP in pitch while the music drops down. I think the melody should follow the root notes at the end of the lines or at the very least at the very end of the chorus.9's for production,6's and 7's for the rest. I think the story is very cool and worth tightening up!Matt

[jdhogg]

Thank you lestonal, thank you very much.and Matt and BenGreat replies. Thank you very much.Thanks for the mixing tips.reThis is what baffles me... ...whoever produced and/or arranged this song did such a fantastic job across the board, yet seemed to jump over the chorus and allowed it to just get by. Why?Some of the vocal phrasing in the chorus is not 100% correct. It was not sung the way it was meant and slows it down. It is minor but when I get it fixed it will be a subtle but real difference. But it does need hook surgery.I did think about "Elvising" it up! I think I will need to look at that again.I originally sang bits a little bit like elvis but it was sung straight. That is down to me as I did not stipulate it. My fault but looking back I would of needed to focus that accent into a small soundbite/hook I think.I think elvising it to the max in places may be the way to goThe drops were at the end of some of the verse lines (check the first line in the second verse) but I flattened them out because it was not quite right, maybe I will look at dropping it down in another way. What I will try to put there is an lick that finishes the phrase ( functionally in the same way as found in parts of "something" by george harrison/beatles.No 1 job......Make the chorus pop with a great hook.Keep em coming.Thank you. Thank you very much.

[lestonal]

May 13, 2009, 1:25pm, jdhogg wrote:Thank you lestonal, thank you very much.and Matt and BenGreat replies. Thank you very much.Thanks for the mixing tips.reThis is what baffles me... ...whoever produced and/or arranged this song did such a fantastic job across the board, yet seemed to jump over the chorus and allowed it to just get by. Why?Some of the vocal phrasing in the chorus is not 100% correct. It was not sung the way it was meant and slows it down. It is minor but when I get it fixed it will be a subtle but real difference. But it does need hook surgery.I did think about "Elvising" it up! I think I will need to look at that again.I originally sang bits a little bit like elvis but it was sung straight. That is down to me as I did not stipulate it. My fault but looking back I would of needed to focus that accent into a small soundbite/hook I think.I think elvising it to the max in places may be the way to goThe drops were at the end of some of the verse lines (check the first line in the second verse) but I flattened them out because it was not quite right, maybe I will look at dropping it down in another way. What I will try to put there is an lick that finishes the phrase ( functionally in the same way as found in parts of "something" by george harrison/beatles.No 1 job......Make the chorus pop with a great hook.Keep em coming.Thank you. Thank you very much. You are most certainly welcome. Anytime.

[jdhogg]

Having slept on it I am going full fat Elvis.If it was good enough for him its good enough for me. I am going to front and backload the chorus with a fat stand out statement/hook.CHORUSELVIS is livin....in all of us (small gap in there )We all need "Hey world look at me"In New York and La I see Elvis And all the little places inbetweenAint there a little Elvis in you and me?Yeah, ELVIS is livin in you and me Notes.ELVIS in caps sung like Elvis with roar.The small gap will deliberatly create two lines/thoughts"Elvis is livin" (a statement that should grab some attention).."in all of us" (then a resolution that answers and ties in with the first)Rest of the chorus vox to have more roar.Last line "Yeah, ELVIS is livin in you and me" will not end on low note.Big drops at end of some lines will be smaller drops.Which should give a bit of space for a few Elvis "uh huh huh" type signature candy.My thinking about the lyric change is it did not pop as "aint there a little bit of" is a lot of words/syllables without any pop.Kinda like a gatlin gun when you need a cannon ball.The hook is the 1st line.The last line will be sung with emotion and authority as a statement but will not be a big "last line hook". New title "Elvis is Livin"?re the verseIll do more thinking on that but it wont change much.I can see how the singer was not 100% sure but I can understand that. The phrases at the beginning of the 1st verse will be ended with a better lick. But I dont think that is the deal breaker, remembering this is a demo.One part of a phrase in the second verse was not sung with the right rhythym. It jars with me but most dont notice it. If it was fixed it would flow better.Thoughts?

[jdhogg]

Thinking about it I may ram that hook home withCHORUSELVIS is livin....in all of us (small gap in there )We all need "Hey world look at me"Elvis is livin in New York and LaAnd all the little places inbetweenAint there a little Elvis in you and me?YEAH, ELVIS is livin in you and me

[mcanty]

Obviously that is top notch production..............I am out of my area with this song but it sounds great.............I don't follow country enough to know what the trends are, etc But it certainly sounds great!!! I know that wasn't very helpful but I did enjoy...........