Traditional Country Collaboration

[jwebbinspired]

Howdy.Ontariolightning and I go together on an idea he had and we wanted to get some feedback on this. We're looking for any advice on lyrics, melody, arrangement.This is just a worktape, so production is poor, we know. Also, I don't usually sing traditional country style, so please understand that. We are going after a George Strait type pitch with this."I'm Different"©2009 Aaron Authier/Andrew Scott Willswww.taximusic.com/stream/212518/worktape%20-%20I_m%20Different.mp3http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.php?userid=21953<v>She rolled her eyes when I walked upAnd I smiled as I sat downShe said I'm not lookin' for loveNothin' but heartbreak in this townSo before you buy me a drinkWhat on earth makes you thinkYou're differentSo I said<c>Compared to the guys you have been withHoney I'm differentCompared to the time's they didn't listenHoney I'm differentYeah I know talk is cheap and men they walk and yeah they cheatBut you've got to trust somebodyIf you start with meI think you'll seeI'm different<v2>She said that's what all men sayWell the thing is I'm not all menShe said they make your heart breakWell not me I'll be a gentlemanShe said, you act real matureBut what makes you so sure?You're differentSo I said<b>I'm not sayin' I'll be perfectI'll have my momentsI'm sure of It<outro>Don't be afraid to tryTo lay it all on the lineHoney I'd risk itI'm different

[partyofone]

Hi bud.I like the concept here. How about "I'm the exception to the rule" instead of "I'm different"? I know it'd be harder to jam the words in but might hit a little harder. Just my 1 cent. Good luck.

[ontariolightning]

hi there Patrick thanks for listening, the thing is we would have to write a whole different song for "I'm the exception to the rule" but we appreciate your suggestion, might give me an idea for a different song, have a good day!

[slowdance]

Liked what I heard.........It has to me that Toby Kieth feel.... especially the talking of the "I think you'll see, I'm different".....has that Toby "ego" in it....just my thoughts.........keep tweaking.................Regrads,Dick

[partyofone]

hey ontario.. ha ha ok.. point taken there... may have been going out a limb with that idea lol.

[ontariolightning]

hey Dick, toby keith does some traditional country so I guess we're on track there, thanks for listening, we will keep tweaking!hey Patrick, we appreciate your idea though, even though it doesn't work for this song, I am thinking about it for another one right now, thanks again!

[deantaylor]

Hey Guys, I like the song. I like the male - female back and forth in v2. You do that pretty well. I like this line: Yeah I know talk is cheap and men they walk and yeah they cheatI don't know Strait well enough to judge if it is for him or not.Dean

[partyofone]

[ideascapes]

I don't usually say this, but I think you went to the chorus too soon! How about putting 2 verses up there before you go to pre-chorus/chorus? That'd mean you'd have to write another verse (#3) for after the chorus, but I think it'd be worth it.The song sounds a little too linear to me, meaning it's pretty sing-songy and predictable. I think you could mix things up a little more. For example, for your verse structure you could shorten line 2:She rolled her eyes when I walked upAnd I smiledShe said I'm not lookin' for loveNothin' but heartbreak in this townI don't think I'd use the word "different" until the chorus. Other thing I noticed is you use the same phrase starts in every song section (before the downbeat), so there's very little contrast right now. Might think about changing that.I don't usually have this many comments on lyrics, but I'm feeling glib tonight, so forgive me!Vince

[ontariolightning]

hey there Vince, well if you add a ten second intro and it gets to the chorus at 40 secondswhich is what most songs on the radio are and I remember don't bore us get to the chorus quoteand I don't think we're trying to trick people with this, if it's sing songy then I guess that'd be a good thingI think we'll go over some of your other points though and just think about itI kinda think different has to be in the verses cause thats what its aboutso if we break a few rules than we do it for the good of the songWe really appreciate your suggestions thoughhave a good day tomorrow!Hey Dean, I think Andrew should take credit for that lineI think it's the best line in the whole songThanks for your comments and listening!have a good day tomorrow also!