show me a sign

[feaker]

First off I let my taxi membership run out. I will rejoin if I get on a roll this year. I have been messing with this tune for the last couple of weeks.I would appreciate any and all comments about the lyrics, song structure, pitchabilty etc.Sorry to say I had to sing this demo version. Pretty squeeky:)No finess here at all. Just some background chords to get it all down.Paulhttp://www.audio-village.com/_show-me-a-sign/a ... 713.htmlDo you believe In something you can not see How do you knowThat there is someone above With ever…lasting loveFor you Help me to see I wanna believe Pre-chorusWhy am I here Where am I going Does my life have meaning All these questions surround me with fearI need some direction, but nothing is clear ChorusShow me a sign I need something I will believe if you doDon’t need much, I will be watchinI’m leaving it all up to youVerse 2Do you believe In something you can not see How do you knowThat everything told has been trueThat there is a place for you ……Above Help me to see I wanna believeEarly this morning took a walk outside Watching the sun start to rise Perfectly still not the slightest of breezeI could not believe my eyesSlowly moving from side to side One of a dozen or moreThe face of this flower looking at meA motion I could not ignore

[jay10music]

feak.....Dude I absolutly love this song....I think It's the best u have done....U do a great job of singing and the harmony parts give it just what it needs. Could be in the singer song writer cat. I think the lyrics r just fine 2....I know it's just a rough demo, but it sounds good...Keep Working With It... Good Job....Stay with this song...And re-join Taxi...... .Love YA! Paul.....Jay...

[geo]

Hey Paul,Cool tune.... a little Christian Rock, a subdivission of Nashville, often looking for not overtly religious music so with some tweaking it may be pitchable but with a high bar to shoot for..... I like it.... as always a couple of points....I would add in the chorus before the break..... maybe cut the break in 1/2?The other point was on the chorus... need to end it with the hook I think to strengthen it.... maybe...Show me a sign I need something I will believe if you doDon’t need much, I will be watchinI’m leaving it all up to youWhen you have some time.... show me a sign.God, that's awful... Ok you get the idea, just something better... gotta go decide which tunes I'm going to give a "Push".... there's one born each day....Peace, Geo

[ideascapes]

Paul,I love the simplicity of this song--how it was produced and in the message. The chorus is catchy and the bridge has great contrast.Vince

[deantaylor]

Paul,I like it. I like the melody. I think Geo has a good idea for improving the chorus.As for pitchability .. I'd say go film-tv with it .. produce it with a lot of mood .. maybe I'm crazy, but I hear a 60's psychedelic like vibe.Dean

[davekershaw]

Hey Paul,I really like this, and I ain't just saying that to get you to renew your membership! I like the message, which a lot of people will relate towho maybe really would like to believe, but do want that "proof".I like the chord changes.Maybe it needs a conclusion after the final two verseswhere you seem to be saying the sun and the flowers are somehow leaning you towards believing - maybe the "signs"you mention.I'd like to hear this in full production.Good work mate!!Dave.

[feaker]

Hello gang.Life would be a lonely place without this forum and writing songs would not be fun if nobody would listen. This is a unique community.This topic came up in conversation with my morning coffe buds. Fred said "I need some kind of proof or sign before I believe any of that stuff" Hence the song.Beep BeepI would give my singing a C+ only because I have UNO to fix the mistakes.( anything above "E" note" Might get my niece to sing it if i can ever catch her (16 yrs). Love back at you too.GeoHi my friend. In many ways, I am like Warren, a little to the left. (Warren in a good way)If I was loooking for a Christian high bar, I would not have any lyrics echoing andy doubt about the very existence of God. In that light, the saleability goes down the drain. I knew that, just wanted to tell a story about those on the fence.I knew you would have great comments on the structure and lyrics and I thank you for that.My bud that will sing this liked it and said he thought of some changes, might be similar to yours.Vince Thanks for the nice comments. I know the bridge is long and without any drums?Dean"maybe I'm crazy, but I hear a 60's psychedelic like vibe."Taking a lot of pills lately, have to check those interactions DaveyGlad you got the message. I thought I cut it a little short, but was running over the 3 minute mark already. Guess that is a no-no?Thanks for the listenPaul

[geo]

Jan 16, 2009, 4:12am, feaker wrote:GeoHi my friend. In many ways, I am like Warren, a little to the left. (Warren in a good way)If I was loooking for a Christian high bar, I would not have any lyrics echoing andy doubt about the very existence of God. In that light, the saleability goes down the drain. I knew that, just wanted to tell a story about those on the fence.I knew you would have great comments on the structure and lyrics and I thank you for that.My bud that will sing this liked it and said he thought of some changes, might be similar to yours.Yeah but everyone questions.... lyrically a lot of the stuff is ambiguous.... and who hasn't had times of doubt? A lot of times they want stuff that could pass as mainstream....Any way.... good luck with it.... post changes...Peace, Geo

[devin]

Nice Paul, nice! I liked the chord changes too...the song goes somewhere.Don't sweat the membership thing...recording and putting it up here in the forum is half the battle...the fun half!

[wignelson]

This one is a keeper, Paul. At first I thought retro and then it hit me that this is pretty contemporary. Cold Play has this kind of sound except for the harmony, which you pulled off very nicely.That gave it a 70's almost Monkees kind of vibe.The message is timeless, my friend. Doubts? Yeah, even Mother Theresa had them so they say.I like the suggestion of driving home the image of the flowers as the sign you were asking for. When you think about it, nature is so awesome that when you really look at it, that IS the sign.I'd stick with this and get your niece to sing along if you can catch her.Wig