FEEDBACK (AAA): See-Thru Me (Won't Be Long)

[southpaw]

Hey patrick great song! I listened twice. I second a short instrumental segue between verse - chorus.I didn't really like the 'synth swell' lead into the chorus, i wanted to hear some dramatic strings with maybe a 'spaciously' rising guitar, if you know what i mean. I could picture this being used in a film, i could also hear it on the radio.For radio though i think the instrumentals would have to have more life in them... They are programmed well and everything locks into place nicely, however they never really came alive to me for some reason. Vocals, the most important part - sounded great. Good job bro. You have a strong voice. Personally, i did not like how loud you started the vocals out, i thought it would be more effective with a softer first verse. Hth. Jamie

[geo]

Dec 22, 2008, 9:10am, billg wrote:Damn Patrick, this is good! Vocals sound great & the song sounds very strong & imo very commercial, you should have a lot of luck with this.I have one suggestion . . . I think the intro should be just vox & piano maybe. You know, very sparse without stong tempo or difined "beat". With "I've been here before" just trailing down to silence . . . . Then it kicks in >>>BAM!!!!Just a thought, good work!Hey Patrick...great song!!!! I like the set up as is (chorus) .... you kind of have a pre-chorus already built in.... awesome lift!!!! I'm with Bill on the intro... that would really grab attention!Good Stuff!!!Peace, Geo

[partyofone]

Hey all, wow, once again thanks for the feedback and all great food for thought!Vince, thanks! I'm gonna try those chords and see how they sound. I can see what you mean now about the verse being so short that the chorus feels like a P/C. I guess I took the "get to the chorus" idea to the extreme!AR, thanks for listening man. I used my trusty R0DE NT1000 in my super esoteric M-Audio Omni Studio pre/sound card. I really have thought I need a mic that complimented my voice better but maybe not! Ha, I like your word "twiddle" .. that's exactly what it sounds like.. and you're right I need to tweak the tuning.. actually I'm hoping a good recutting and comping of the vocal will help that.Jeff, thanks and as always you're spot on! I think perhaps the verse does need more, and I worried adding the strings in the 1st would be too soon, but it looks like my work isn't done here. And the bridge.. yeah you're right.. I only have one clean guitar there which I automated to go up, but it is kinda wimpy. I thought maybe it might help to make the vocal stand out more, but maybe I need some reinforcement there.Bill, thanks bro! Hey, you know what.. .that piano idea might be the ticket. It might take away the blandness Jeff mentioned and really be a good contrast. I think I'm gonna try it and repost!Jamie, man thanks.. more great ideas here! Yes, I don't really like the swell either after doing it and decided I was being lazy again! I need something more substantial like you said. And I had the same thought on the vocals.. more contrast.. quieter verse delivery. On the instruments.. I see what you mean but I don't exactly know HOW to pull that off. This is where I start getting lost and wonder what next. It's like it needs that extra something. Maybe a REALLY good mix to make everything pop... any more specific ideas would be great.Geo, thanks! I really did try work on my LIFT is this one! Guys.. ok so I thought I had a good chorus idea but I'm hearing maybe it's coming too soon, or the harmonically needs different movement. How about this idea: double the first verse, then chorus, then straight to the bridge and back to chorus?On making things come alive more like Jamie said.. this is where I feel like the boys and men started getting separated and I probably have real work to do... or maybe turn things over to people that can do it better than me. I don't know.. hmm.

[devin]

Nice tune Patrick!! Gotta love how those quick tunes just show up...2 days is awesome.I'm going to go against the flow and say I really like how the chorus comes so early, somehow it grabbed me as cool that way. Just my $0.02 of course (from someone who hasn't had any lyric forwards hehe). Kudos on the vox, there's a 1000 uses for that!Looking forward to your next version...and your "forward notice".

[partyofone]

Devin, thanks. Yeah on the 2 days thing.. it's all smoke and mirrors... smoke and mirrors ha ha! It's weird because I used to spend months on a song and never be happy. Nowadays I can hardly spend a month before I'm sick of it. I partly blame it on Ryan Adam's after reading how prolific he is. But anyways thanks for the kind words on encouragement!Jamie, yeah I'd love to hear your tips. I'm running Vista Home with Sonar 7. My main axe is guitar but I'm competent enough on piano to write on it and play most basic parts. I have a Boogie Studio Pre I've used in the past for sounds but lately I've been going direct using Waves GTR or this free amp modeler called Little Green Amp.

[iceman]

Cool song. Excellent vocals and lyrics I can relate to. Drums sound a bit distant and processed with not much cymbal coming through. Kick could be less busy. More edgy bass attack might be cool. Maybe try a pick bass. A/B with some U2 cuts just for fun. You're a great vocalist.Randy

[partyofone]

Hey Randy.. thanks for taking the time bro, man you almost read my mind on the pick bass so now that you said it I think I'll try it! I agree on the drums too.Quote:You're a great vocalist.Wow, I never thought I'd hear the day someone said THAT to me. You don't know how much that means to hear that... and all of you guys that gave me props on the vocals. It's my own inner struggle, and although I haven't arrived yet, maybe I'm getting there!

[toddt]

Hi Patrick,Very good track, and it sounds very commercial. You've reminded me how far I have to go engineering-wise, and your voice is excellent (the sooner you realise it the better ).I too was surprised by how quickly the chorus came in - which doesn't mean I think it was wrong, but I was just surprised, that's all. If it was my song, I'd add a second verse before the chorus, and keep the first one really subdued, then build through the second one. I think your chorus is big enough to warrant the delay.I like the idea of the reversed effect into the chorus, although the one you have sounds a little old-school hip hop for the track IMO Seriously though, great voice - fits the track perfectly.tt

[bigbluebarry]

Hey Patrick... I don't think there's really much I can add that hasn't already been said so I'll just say this... I hear this track and think:1) You definitely understand how to write a nice commercial sounding song that lends itself for tv/film placements. 2) You're able to get some great guitar tones3) You have a great voice for this style and I would encourage you to keep at it man!that's all I got Oh yeah, I REALLY like the song as well!- Big Blue

[partyofone]

Hey TT, thanks for words of encouragement! Man, I know what you mean on having a lot to learn. I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of being a good mix engineer. (What was interesting and encouraging was attending the advanced production class with Rob Chiarelli at the Road Rally and hearing him say it's "all about vibe" and less is more approach.) I agree on the verse first being short. I intentionally did that and I would normally do just as you said.. I've actually been trying to counteract my tendency for this because I've gotten consistent feedback on taking too long to get to chorus. Ha and yeah I hear what you mean about that synth being old school hip hop. I'm taking that sucker outta there and stop being lazy.BB, hey dude, thanks! I realize I put up a rough mix/production but I'd like to get my production up to the level you and AR achieved on that collab. I have a love/hate thing about engineering and mixing my own stuff, but I'm gonna try to really focus as I'm not in a position to hire it out now.