Dance tune (?) - "It's Just Not Fair"

[devin]

I had this awesome recording of my friend Heather singing a ballad I wrote. I was only playing acoustic...and there hasn't been much opportunity for that type of listing, so the initial sketch has just been sitting.My good friend Carlos did a quick dance mix behind her vocal, with a half dozen different arpeggiated ideas flowing around. Although neither of us are versed in the genre, I'm starting to like it more and more.It may be a bit slow at 130 bpm for dance? Re-tracking would be in the cards to speed it up. She's dying to belt it out with more energy to match a dance vibe!Any thoughts are always appreciated...Cheers gang! http://www.thepondstudio.ca/IJNFdancev2.mp3(may take a second to download/stream)It’s Just Not FairYou can’t have forever......At least not with meThough we gave it a try....we laughed and we cried Before I set you freeCall me demanding............Say I’m naiveWhen I thought in a week..you would come back to stay If I told you to leave....Lately when I see you around, you’re holding a new hand....Now I feel the waves crashing down on our names in the sand(chorus)IT'S JUST NOT FAIR THAT YOU'RE RIGHT THEREWHEN I CAN'T HOLD YOU, I WOULDN'T DARETELL YOU I'M SORRY, SHOW YOU I CAREIT'S JUST NOT FAIR, IT'S JUST NOT FAIRI was painting a picture.....Of what I thought you should beAnd I wasted my chance...to find out who you areNow I’m starting to see....I was looking for a custom fit in an off the rack world....So I set you down for a bit into the arms of another girl (chorus)The fence in between us......Won’t you turn around please?But you walk up the stairs....you’re boarding the planeSo I pull out my keys....I watch you taxi away as the suns leaves leave the sky....My wipers push back the rain, but they cannot dry my eyes(chorus - softly)(chorus - stronger)

[anne]

Hi Devin -I can see where you are going with this. I was going to say that the vocals were a bit pitchy, but then I read that she is going to record new powerful vocals. I think with the new vocals and some nice meaty sounding instruments in the mid-range you will have a dance tune.I'm not sure, but I believe 130-135 bpm is fine.

[teleblaster]

Interesting tune, not my genre, but the backing tracks seem very believable. Vox do need to be re-done. Besides being a bit pitchy as already noted; I think there are some places where the syllables aren't lining up on the subdivisions, and where the strong syllables aren't lining up on strong subdivisions.That said, she has a great voice, I like the treatment of it -- maybe just a touch in your face but I like vox that sit back in the track more than most. The backing tracks are cool and believable. I think you're on your way to a great dance tune.Hope this is helpful and thanks for posting this; it was a fun listenBTW: I just re-read your post. Very cool that someone took a vox/acoustic git track and turned it into a dance mix. I might have to try that now... Also, very understandable that the vox would sit a bit out of the pocket against the arpp'd synths....Cheers

[ideascapes]

devin,I love that this started as a ballad! 130 BPM is in the ball park for dance--faster is better, but this works OK. I've recorded only a few dance tracks (and used to live in Europe), so my comments will be based on that.First, crank the drums--you should feel them in the mix. Second, vary them sometimes and even cut out different parts at times (e.g., 8 bars of no hi hat).Love the vocalist and would look forward to a more powerful take, and more on the beat in places. Once that is done, a re-mixer who specializes in dance would splice and dice the vocal track and have different phrases appear in different places thoughout the song. Would be fun to hear the final version.I always think it's an interesting exercise to record a song outside your "normal" genre(s). I do that all the time and have had mixed success for forwards and placements (a reggae song, for example). The fact is, you'll be competing against people to concentrate in that genre, but you might just bring something new to it that will catch somebody's ear. I did an electronic dance track and had it described as "jazz-house-trance" and I didn't even set out to do anything different.Good luck!Vince

[devin]

Wow gang...great feedback!I didn't use a straight-up rythm on the acoustic when we tracked it initially, so your comments are bang on for her being out of pocket now that there's a driving beat started (but the drums aren't driving enough yet ).I have to admit, when Carlos asked for just the vox and then sent me this, I looked at the title and went WTF?!? It took 12 seconds before I said "hey...that's cooler than my take!"Thanks alot Anne, Teleblaster, and Vince...your advice is awesome!

[iceman]

Hi Devin,I'm pretty much of a newby, I have sniffing around the forum but have not participated much. So I'll jump in here.I think the vocals are appealling. Very pretty voice. I'd use that vocalist anytime. Good melody. I think the melody and voice would be well suited for a mid tempo country pop version. More contrast of texture and a harmony would better emphasize the chorus. Maybe a little less wordy. Possibly use It's just not fair...blah, blah, blah for the first two lines, third line different and bookend it as you already have. Make it an anthem.I know this is just a sketch. And my suggestions may not be where you want to go. But I make them because I like the song and the vocals a lot, even though it's not presented in my genre.Randy

[heinsite]

damn devin--this sounds JUST LIKE ONE OF THEM euro rock/dance things, i'm not kidding, a tune produced similar to this would have a real shot in europe! have it sung again, and you're there IMHO--great title too for this genre...very cool synthy stuff too....the best,warren--now where the hell's my dancin' shoes? oh, my wife threw them OUT!

[devin]

Thanks Randy...your opinion is welcome anytime. It was originally an acoustic guitar ballad that would transition to country (if I spent a bit more time fitting the lyric in, your suggestions are bang on). If I find the original version I'll PM it to you for reference. Thank you for your thoughts...nice to meet you!Warren...dance in your bare feet man...life's too short to worry about gear like shoes! And I'll be posting your Xmas present soon...as I'm wrapping it for that bluegrass listing next week...

[toddt]

Hi Devin,130bpm is certainly not too slow for dance: the majority of house music is around or below that (and Madonna's Hung Up was only 125bpm, and that was one of the biggest dance tracks this century here in the UK/Europe). Whilst more trance/eurotrance than house music, your track sounds right at the speed it's at (and a rule of thumb is the faster a track is the smaller the market for it, so don't push it up any higher). I like the melodies you've got going on, although I'm in agreement with everyone and yourself that rerecording of the vocal will be worthwhile, plus adding some harmonies in the chorus might lift it too.For a couple of guys who aren't "versed in the genre" you did a very good job, and the synths are very credible!Getting a little more specific:- One thing that works really well in trance is to have a sharp sounding, stacked pad (4 or so layers) playing the track's chord progression during the chorus, using very slow filtering changes to make it more interesting. Maybe use some sample delay to make it really thick and wide too.- I would add a clap/snare on beats 2 and 4 of every bar. Doesn't have to be big, but just *there*.- Like Vince said, maybe vary the percussion (or something) a little bit every 8 bars to keep it interesting.- The odd drum fill to announce new sections would work well. - The vocal could really use some panning stereo delay make it fill the mix more.- I hope I'm not getting tooo specific on this but for the first half of the second last chorus, you could create something a little different by dropping everything out except for vocal, clap and pad/synth (filtered down). Then use the second half of that chorus to build up to the final chorus where everything (including your new pads! come in for a huge crescendo!Well done though, look forward to hearing the next version.tt

[bigbluebarry]

devin... this is definitely NOT my genre so I'll leave the nuts and bolts to someone like tt who knows what they're talking about. But, I will say that I could definitely "feel" the vibe of what you were going for and most definitely think you're headed in the right direction and should pour yourself into the song because I think the potential is there.- Big Blue