Living In Purgator-y

Casey H · Post by **Casey H** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:29 am

Here is something I am working on and I'd like to get some input. It's a pretty dark tune called "Living In Purgator-y", may be done a little a la Ryan Adams. The rough sample here is only one verse and one chorus. I'd like to get some feedback on the overall song idea, music, and the proposed lyrics for 2 verses. Most likely, it will be V C V C INSTR C C... so, these would be the complete lyrics. The written lyrics are more up to date than the ones sung here. Production and performance will be by our own B. Flat who does awesome work. (This is a rough concept clip only)www.caseysongs.com/LivingInPurgatory.mp3 Living In Purgator-y © 2008 Ch*rles P. H*rowitzAnother morningAnother day aloneYou asked for distanceYou said you just don’t knowI feel so helpless like a child crying for youHere at your mercyThere’s nothing I can doChorusYou say that you needSome time and spaceSo I’ll be waitingOn the judgment dayLiving in purgator-yI wait on yourI wait on your I wait on your GraceMy friends all tell meThat you’re just biding timeTo let me down easyCould be some other guyCaught between heaven and hell and nightmares and dreams (clunky- will be changing)I won’t give up my hope That you’ll come back to me(chorus)Note: The '*' and '-' characters above are to make this less Google-a-ble, though it probably doesn't matter... paranoid Casey

davekershaw · Post by **davekershaw** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:55 am

Good production Casey.Promising track!Dave.

billg · Post by **billg** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:12 am

Casey, I don't think the third chord in the chorus should be a minor chord.

feaker · Post by **feaker** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:52 am

caseyThis is very nice.Sung well with emotion.I agree with Dave. It has potential.paul

hummingbird · Post by **hummingbird** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:55 am

I think this has potential too. I like the new lyrics

zoom · Post by **zoom** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:58 am

Hey Casey!Lyrics are fairly clean, but not really any great purgatory imagery. Maybe some angel/devil contrasts (you did heaven/hell already, but I would try to go deeper with simple images like fire, clouds, wings, etc.) would work here. And while your (the singer's) purgatory is waiting for the answer, contemplating both possible answers could be a good bridge for this song.Also.... it would be great to resolve the harmony upward as you go into the chorus... gives it a little bit more movement and would propel you into the chorus a little easier.HTH

geo · Post by **geo** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 6:49 am

OK I read it was one verse... but kept looking at the lyrics going why isn't he singing the 2nd verse.... cause I'm tired...Hi Casey... dig the vibe and the change into the chorus... like the verse your singing better than what's on the page....The chorus feels a little awkward with the rhyming scheme you set up... I was singing this...ChorusSo I’ll be waitingOn the judgment dayYou say that you needSome time and spaceLiving in purgator-yI wait on yourI wait on your I wait on your GraceI like the flow better ..... and it flows lyrically out of the verse......I think the last 4 lines of the chorus work as a better hook.... personally I like the hook to be set up with a rhyme... I think it helps accent the hook... Second verse looks cool.... how about...My friends all tell meYou’re just biding timeGonna let me down easyFor some other guyCaught between heaven and hell my nightmares and my dreams (clunky- will be changing) (I like it)I won’t give up my hope That you’ll come back to meI would maybe look at the last two lines .... look for another way to say that... but then again when you sing it it might work....This is all IMHO of course.... overall I like this... like where the production is heading...Peace, Geo

Casey H · Post by **Casey H** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:44 am

Thanks all for the listen and comments... Taking them all in... Casey

heinsite · Post by **heinsite** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 4:38 pm

i like it casey!damn if i should read your entire post next time, reloaded it and it kept quitting--LOL--and NO beer tonight (probably the reason...)very promising, can't wait to hear more lyrics, like your SUNG ones better BTW, but maybe because they are sung and i aint just reading them. won't comment on any more than that, as it's still being thunk up by you, but good start. now give us more!the best,W*rren

liamkelly · Post by **liamkelly** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 1:58 am

Good song, Casey.That chorus really does grow on you. I've listened quite a few times yesterday/today and the purgatory line has gone from being out there to being firmly between my ears!Lyrically, I think the comparison between stalled love and purgatory is great.And nice work, Bflat, too!Liam

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