Same Shirt Different Day (added Taxi critique)

[matthoggard]

I definately hear Jimmy Buffet doing this one. Blake Shelton does some songs like this too.Your lyrics are awesome man. I think just a little lift to the chorus is all it lacks. Alot of times this can be achieved with just singing the vocal differently. I.E what casey is talking about.Listen to some current new country radio. There are plenty of songs that dont follow the normal formulas and are huge hits.Demo this puppy, it could be worth it.M~

[geo]

Hi Cam....Been thinking 'bout this tune a lot... have a couple of lyric ideas... nothing specific.... more overall type of stuff....The "polo/company" shirt thing had me thinking.... and to be honest I just scrolled down looking for lyrics (but I'm on the 2nd page) and saw OT's comments and kinda know where he's coming from....I do think the reference should be "company shirt" to emphasize the working shirt aspect.... I think it does bring the chorus into focus more.... as I was falling asleep last night this popped into my head....I can work up a sweat in my company shirtthe back says "Joe's Backhoe We Shovel Dirt"or the patch saysor the logo saysor.....Scrape the ice off the ChevroletLooks like the traffic's pretty bad todayand my front left tire is going flatseems I start out everyday like thatI can work up a sweat in my company shirtbut I look real nice while I shovel dirtIt says "Joe's Backhoe" right there on the patchMe and this shirt are a perfect matchOK.... maybe the ideas were a little specific ....Don't know if this will fit the melody... but I think you can see what I mean about the tie in with the hook....Hope this helps.....I dig this tune!!Geo

[cameron]

Sept 27, 2008, 8:46am, geo wrote:Hi Cam....Been thinking 'bout this tune a lot... have a couple of lyric ideas... nothing specific.... more overall type of stuff....The "polo/company" shirt thing had me thinking.... and to be honest I just scrolled down looking for lyrics (but I'm on the 2nd page) and saw OT's comments and kinda know where he's coming from....I do think the reference should be "company shirt" to emphasize the working shirt aspect.... I think it does bring the chorus into focus more.... as I was falling asleep last night this popped into my head....I can work up a sweat in my company shirtthe back says "Joe's Backhoe We Shovel Dirt"or the patch saysor the logo saysGeo - Thanks for the input. Good ideas! I'd already decided company shirt had to go there, and was toying with using "excavation" in there , so how 'bout "I can work up a sweat in my company shirt, [it says] Ace Excavation, we shovel dirt"Can't decide if the "it says" is necessary or not.I'd thought about making the tire on the Chevy the one that's going flat but decided to stick with the backhoe, just to define early in the song what he does for a living.Matt - Thanks. Casey's got an idea for the chorus vocal line he's going to send me.Cameron

[ontariolightning]

its cool Cameron, I just noticed something when reading it over after your first chorus you use the same rhymes sounds which kinda makes it seem like the chorus is elongated when it isn'tSame shirt, different dayone of these timesI'm going to run awayI'm gonna head to the Florida Keys to staysame shirt, different dayScrape the ice off the ChevroletLooks like the traffic's pretty bad todaymaybe if you could think of two different lines to put there with dissimilar soundsjust a thought

[deantaylor]

Cam,I like the way you are going with the 'patch' on the shirt idea from Geo!!! Here are 2 more areas you might could get more out of:THE BRIDGE: I think 'in a rut' might be a better tag phrase there, rather than 'in the hole'. The latter conjurs up being in debt, which is not what the song is about ... it is about your life being in a rut. Also, you might be able to tie the backhoe job in here somehow ... I'm in a rut, I can't get out, even my backhoe won't do that job ... something like that, but with a rhyme and better wordflow .. lol. I like the 'attitude' of the line 'damn I look good', but I don't think that line really fits the song that well.this line .. seems I start out everyday like that .. is in the song twice. Might be good that way, it is an important concept, but maybe it is an opportunity to say something a little different the second time .. or to say the same thing but in a different way. Just something to think on.Nice work on this.Dean

[billg]

hey Cam, coming in late on this. Don't know much about country music but I sure like the ideas in this song. I think just moving up to a higher register vocally & adding some gilrls singing backup would give the chorus a needed lift. Also (excuse me if someone else metioned this, I haven't read all of the comments) but at the end of each chorus ex. . . ."the florida keys to stay" you're resolving things and putting yourself in a better place so I don't think you want to return to "same shirt/different day" phrase for the next line. I think you should do something along the lines of "different shirt/a better day"( although something much more clever!) . . . you know, a twist on the same line that has a positive resolution. It won't be easy, but if you could come up with the perfect "resolution twist" this song could be killer IMO.

[heinsite]

hey cam--man you've got a lot of good ideas up there!might as well throw one more idea in, and it's just a tweak on your own up there, to make it simpler...I work up a sweat and like it says on my shirtAt Ace Excavation, We Shovel Dirt* *note, excavation is a mouthful and so is sayin' ace excavation back to back...Ace Backhoe? dunno. you have my other suggestions, but hell, you have so many here, good luck!! LOLyou just might have to put this away maybe not for a month, but for a week and come back...my heads swimmin' with all the ideas, and it aint my song!!the best,warren

[cameron]

Thank you guys... I appreciate the feedback.Ontario - You know, I looked at this before and decided it would be OK because there's an instrumental break between the two sections, so that it's not obvious to the listener, but someone else might disagree with me on that.Dean - I sort of meant the "in the hole" phrase to have a double meaning, and it ties in with the following chorus that says "too much work and not enough pay" but I actually think I ought to be able to come up with something a bit more clever in the bridge (maybe with a bit of a story twist) and have been working on that.Bill - Thanks. Casey has sent me an idea for a chorus lift that I'm going to try out tomorrow. I'm not sure that going back to the "same shirt" line at the end of each chorus is a problem, because he's just dreaming and then it's like, back to reality, but I do think maybe the bridge could use a twist and then the last chorus could change to refect the new reality. Does that make sense?Warren - U da man... and you come up with more ideas in 5 minutes than I do in a whole day. I see what you're after and I agree. I'll figure out some way to make it work.Cam

[billg]

Hey Cam, I didn't really think there was a big problem going back to the line, just that the perfect twist (using the shirt/day thing) would knock this out of the park. Unfortunately it's easier said than done . . . if I had the perfect line I'd gladly give it to you (in exchange for a virtual beer of course!).

[deantaylor]

Cam,A twist in the bridge would be perfect! Go find one.Dean