In a Bottle

[wignelson]

Nov 14, 2008, 2:21pm, motomyrtle wrote:Nov 14, 2008, 12:36pm, jamesm wrote:Hi, Cheryl. Really liked these lines:Soon he'll discover, like so many othersLife on the wagon can be a bumpy rideI'm lost on the "the machine wins" line, though. What machine?JamesThanks a bunch James,the 'machine' is the answering machine in verse 2 CherylCheryl, no one ever accused me of bing smart, but I thought the plane was the machine.Wig

[ontariolightning]

I like this, I don't get the machine wins part but I knew it was an answering machine due to the last line, my grandpas answering machine is near his couch, just my opinion, i think it is finemaybe fix the machine wins line though, take care Cheryl

[motomyrtle]

Nov 15, 2008, 9:49pm, ontariolightning wrote:I like this, I don't get the machine wins part but I knew it was an answering machine due to the last line, my grandpas answering machine is near his couch, just my opinion, i think it is finemaybe fix the machine wins line though, take care CherylWell, Guess I should address ‘the machine wins’She’s not winning – losing to his illnessHe’s not winning – he’s losing to his illnessHe can’t even win a staring contest with an answering machine.That was my thought at the time of writing.If he played the message once, the message indicator light on the machine wouldn't blink again, therefore it would win a ‘staring contest’.That sets up another battle he’s not winning – He’s losing the struggle of whether or not to erase the message because then he won’t be able to hear the sound of her voice.That’s why I used ‘wins’. Its purpose went far beyond the rhyme.Maybe that’s getting far too deep – but those were my thoughts and reasoning behind the choice. Cheryl

[linziellen]

Bless this lyric, it's really pretty. I wish I could write something similar.Really nice work, I'm inspired. Could you say "her message wins" ? Something like that.

[motomyrtle]

That makes me glad when someone else can be inspired, thank you for the compliment and and suggestion.Cheryl