Musician Sister with Borderline Personality Disorder

[ernstinen]

Hi All,

Do you know anyone with "Borderline Personality Disorder?" My sis has it, and I wonder if any of you have family/friends with this mental affliction. Any help/advice for this disease would be appreciated!

Thanks In Advance,

Ern

[rnrmachine]

Hey Ern,

Get her medicated if need be, some sort of day program that will keep her focused and of course one on one with a shrink every so often. Of course that is all easy to say... good luck!!

Rob

[mojobone]

I lived with the disease for six years, and can't think of a single thing I could tell you that would help either you or her, other than maybe this: there's no cocktail of meds nor any amount of love that can 'fix' her, so just try to deal with her 'as is'. It's frustrating, but she doesn't live in the same world as you, and her mind plays by a different set of rules. I hope that helps, but I know it doesn't; all you can really do is pray for strength. I'll pray, too.

[ernstinen]

Thanks so much Rob & Mojo for your support!

And Rev. Mojo, that takes a lot of courage on your part to admit that. Thumbs WAY up!

Here's a synopsis from the National Institute of Mental Health, which is spot on about my sister:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publicat ... ndex.shtml

I really appreciate your posts!

Best,

Ern

[Len911]

My niece is a textbook histrionic, and drugs are useless for a personality disorder alone. She just went back yesterday for another 5 day stay in the hospital, it doesn't do any good either, but it keeps anything from being destroyed and gives my folks a break for a short while.
It probably makes a difference whether she came to realize this on her own, or if she is going to be told. If she found out on her own, that is probably the first major step for dealing with it. And as far as her friends and family, it makes it a little easier to deal with it the more understanding you have about it.

[ernstinen]

Thanks, Len!

I talked to my sister last week, and she admitted to BPD, "So my Psychiatrist says. But that's JUST A LABEL!" Yea, well, that's not an old "label" like "neurotic" etc. It's a REAL diagnosis. She completely denies it. Like I don't admit I have chronic depression (which I do, and I've been taking care of it for 20 years). I ADMIT it, which she apparently doesn't.

Folks, don't think that mental illness is akin to physical illness. It's MUCH more debilitating. PLEASE look into modern medication, even though you may not have BPD. Your life depends upon it! Get some f^#*ing help, for God's sake! Don't suffer anymore. I suffered for 20 years until I admitted I had a genetic problem. PLEASE don't wait! Believe me, I begged and begged for some medication in my 20's, which were dark days. I almost --- well, trust me, don't deny your feelings. Go to someone who understands. Your creative life will blossom, I promise you!

PM me for more if you want to.

All My Best,

Ern

[mojobone]

To be clear, Ern, I lived with a person who had it.....she had a sort of personal narrative, and anytime reality conflicted with it, reality got thrown out for being incompatible. Given the things I know she did, let alone the ones I suspect, I feel lucky to have escaped, actually.

[ernstinen]

To be clear, Ern, I lived with a person who had it.....she had a sort of personal narrative, and anytime reality conflicted with it, reality got thrown out for being incompatible. Given the things I know she did, let alone the ones I suspect, I feel lucky to have escaped, actually.

Got it, Mojo. We're lucky to escape soon into the Bay Area. No phone, no email. Just a forwarding address. That's our choice. Whew!

Best,

Ern

[ernstinen]

Ya know the old adage: You gotta walk the walk.

Today, after my wife got my sister into an apartment with no rent near downtown L.A., we got this email:

"Please leave my can of beans, my avocado seeds, and my two small Rubbermaid containers near the door when I drop off your car tomorrow."

Christ Almighty, my wife broke into tears with the ultimate understanding how destitute my sister really is. A can of beans? God bless her.

We filled a bag's worth of food for her, gave her $60 for a birthday present, and are giving her some $$ to get back downtown on the Amtrak. What more can we do? This is AFTER my sister attacked my wife for "cutting her hair too short" yesterday. BPD is a REAL affliction, and it ruins many lives like my sister's. I'm going to pray for her right now. No one else in my family seems to give a damn.

Thanks for listening,

Ern

[mojobone]

There's always more you can do; trouble is, it's never enough. It's a national disgrace that people like your sister can't get the long-term care they so desperately need.