Critique Request II

[sirajx]

Hey all!

After a couple TAXI tv sessions,bugging those nice people in the office,feedback here on the forum,etc......now i got a better feel for this so here's the latest plea for TAXI forum feedback & much more streamlined:

-SONG: Never Surrender www.reverbnation.com/sirajx
-LIKE/DISLIKE: +1 or -1
-REASON FOR +!/-1:
-TARGET/COMPATIBLE/SUGGESTED LISTINGS at TAXI:
-CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE:


You guys won my trust & respect....but i need an accurate 'mirror' to make things better!(or improve in future releases!)

[HectorRContreras]

Hello dear Siraj,

The Song : "Never Surrender" is a joy to listen to. I like the Song very much : +1

I like its originality, and its innocence, so to speak.

Originality, that is because of the Singing, much good work has been done here, with the Chorus, and the "yeahs", etc.

And innocence, because that is the feel when one listens to the Song. It is very heartwarming and pleasing.

[Piewackit1]

The way I improve my songs(besides getting help here) is to compare them to a similar type of song. I import the reference song into my DAW and play my song side by side. You have to be careful not to fill in the blanks on your song mentally. Give it a honest comparison.

Do my vocals stand up, is my singing as interesting and professional, do my drums sound right for the genre I'm going for?

It seems simple to do but it is still hard to figure out if your song stacks up. If you can't get a clear picture yourself, get someone you trust that will give you an honest opinion.

Compare Never Surrender to some of the artists you mentioned on you Reverb Nation page.

I like your song, but I feel the overall quality can improve...the same can be said about the songs I write.

Good luck.

[VTrails]

You've got the Romantics vibe happening, which I assume is what you were going for with this one. Just a few things that struck me:

- There are a few spots where it sounds like you're rushing to fit the words in, if you could simplify the lines a little bit you might get a better flow.

- To me the intensity seems to drop in the choruses rather than lifting. The lush double track is good to differentiate the choruses (especially important if you're not changing the chord progression, which is definitely genre appropriate). I think more vocal clarity would be helpful in the choruses, maybe a stronger vocal line on top of what you have there already.

- As I said, the relentless same chord progressioo throughout the song is genre-appropriate, but I think a bit more variety (in addition to the variety in the guitars you have already) would help, whether it's instrumentation or some kind of bridge or breakdown that shakes things up a bit.

[Kolstad]

To me the song sounded a bit like it could fit in Phineas & Ferb.
Sort of Disney qualities to it.
Light vibe going on, maybe a little humourous too.
So +1 on the like.

Composition, arrangement and sounds were all there, so the song's got a lot going for it already.

On the constructive advice part.. some of the performances sounds a bit uneven and off the grid, which may or may not work for this type of song, but you have to be unlikely lucky for that to pass through screeners. It's the hardest thing when you don't have a producer to hawk over you. You need to be hard as a rock on yourself when it comes to timing in recordings. There were some phrasing issues in the vocals as well, as if the lyrics didn't meter up properly. So, nitting it for not being recorded on the grid and for lyrics meter.

[sirajx]

Thanks to all who have responded so far(& hope more will 'dogpile' on it as well! )

-The Romantics are without doubt the primary strength in my style and what i found to be 'as the shoe fits'.......my style is more boxed but i know there is always an 'expansion foyer' so definitely there will be more good things to come!
-This is just what i have noticed(forgive me please): i feel that from the 90's to today that there is such a over focus on vocals that the music is lacking(vocals ARE important) & there is a huge gap in imagination(stepping out of the box).......so yes,i'm really squarish but this is my strength(& improvising is NEVER out the question or the picture) and because not many people are doing anything new with such old school 1-2-3 simple styles,yea,it's like dusting off an old box of goodies that few have touched for awhile!

-to quote someones quote to me: 'siraj,the idea is solid and WILL be kickin but you are re-opening a door that few touch anymore,so expect to get a little beat up,cause you don't follow a beaten path......that's not YOUR way...and that's perfectly fine...keep on doing it!'
I don't expect to pleas everyone because you CAN'T....but it REALLY pleases me that the people in TAXI-land are not trying to change/strip my stuff so far down that it isn't me anymore,which is what happened too many times,but to improve and perfect what i can and cannot do...which is 20 years overdue!

Keep chiming in,people,cause i haven't been this satisfied in a LONG time!

[HectorRContreras]

Lovely, super cool Comment, dear Siraj.

It is very nice to know about you a little more.

[sirajx]

Thanks Hector & everyone.....each reply has been helpful in narrowing down some things. Spent 6 hrs after the show going through the current Billboard rock charts for comparison research & researching every top song from birth(1969) to roughly 1978 that influenced me the greatest(and still get me hoppin and poppin) pre-Knack/Romantics/Kinks/etc,so this hopefully gives a better,narrower yardstick for everyone:

The Beatles:It Won't Be Long/All My Loving/Hold Me Tight/Any Time At All/Please Please Me
Paul Revere & The Raiders:Just Like Me**/Hungry/Steppin Stone
The Turtles:You Baby/It Ain't Me Babe
Dave Clark 5/Glad All Over
The Hollies/Carrie Anne
The Sweet/Little Willy
The Yardbirds/For Your Love
The Buckinghams/Kind Of A Drag
Every Mothers Son/Come On Down To My Boat

Funny.....for a short time in the late 80's,when i was predominately Minneapolis funk/minor rock,i told my family..."man,i'll never play those old dorky 60's stuff again"........ironic,isn't it,that that was my greatest strength!

Serious note:if i have turned off some people,don't throw up the hands YET,because i have a solid history of being a maverick surprising people when having been written off(this is a general spout & not directed to anyone....just to a certain area i used to call home...& my instrumental LIFE ALL ALONE sums up the emotion of what it is like when all have abandoned hope).

Final note: i have been advised(not on this forum)that emotion is a BAD thing to show in business & forums.....that is why i know the right mentors,peers,& opportunities WILL emerge from the fog & present themselves in time!

TAXI-tv is an addiction....a healthy one at that!!

[HectorRContreras]

Siraj, Catherine has been doing a lot of posting!!... I will idendify as "Hector Only" in the future... Take care, Hector

So nice to see your fingers finally on the Keyboard, dearest Hector, at long last ! ( I know that you have been busy, my Sweetheart)
Ok; so Catherine will be recognized when the Colour will be Blue. That is it !

[cassmcentee]

S.
The first thing that hit me with "Never Surrender" was the percussion
It sounds like you want it to groove but it comes across to me very stiff and not on tempo
Are you able to rework the drums or are you married to that take?
Cass