Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

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andreh
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Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by andreh » Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:36 pm

I got my Dear John letter for my submission to this Dispatch listing today:Quote:Pop TAXI # D061024PCGreat POP/CLASSICAL CROSSOVER SONGS in the range of Josh Groban, Andrew Lloyd Webber, etc. are needed by the Head of A&R at a Major Record Label for a young Male artist who is a classically trained vocalist. He’s open lyrically - but your songs must be very-well written and have the crossover potential that this A&R exec. is seeking. They need hit songs. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyric sheets. Demo quality is OK for this listing. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY - NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI. For ground submissions, please enclose a S.A.S.E. if you would like a response via mail. As always, we will notify everyone via e-mail, whether your submissions have been Forwarded or Returned. Submissions must be received no later than 2:00 pm Pacific Standard Time (California time), Tuesday, Oct. 24, 2006. TAXI # D061024PCHere's the song I submitted:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... dsq=1Since it was another Dispatch listing no critique was given, so I'd love your feedback to help me make this song a better fit for this "ala" artist.TIA,Andre
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Re: Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by aubreyz » Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:44 pm

Quote:I got my Dear John letter for my submission to this Dispatch listing today:Quote:Pop TAXI # D061024PCGreat POP/CLASSICAL CROSSOVER SONGS in the range of Josh Groban, Andrew Lloyd Webber, etc. are needed by the Head of A&R at a Major Record Label for a young Male artist who is a classically trained vocalist. He’s open lyrically - but your songs must be very-well written and have the crossover potential that this A&R exec. is seeking. They need hit songs. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyric sheets. Demo quality is OK for this listing. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY - NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI. For ground submissions, please enclose a S.A.S.E. if you would like a response via mail. As always, we will notify everyone via e-mail, whether your submissions have been Forwarded or Returned. Submissions must be received no later than 2:00 pm Pacific Standard Time (California time), Tuesday, Oct. 24, 2006. TAXI # D061024PCHere's the song I submitted:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... dsq=1Since it was another Dispatch listing no critique was given, so I'd love your feedback to help me make this song a better fit for this "ala" artist.TIA,Andre Got my pink slip too for the same listing... scratching my head a bit.I have another thread asking for opinions on that track so I won't muddy this one up with a link. Let me lick my wounds a while and I'll llisten again Andre.Aub

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Re: Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by 53mph » Wed Nov 01, 2006 1:21 am

Hi Andreh,I'm listening to the track now. It's not really my genre but I'll offer my 2 cents.I'm not too hot on the reverb/delay on the vocals. It seems to muddy up with the "chariots of fire" style sound going on in the mix. There seems to be too many "s" sounds bouncing around in the mix. I would relax on the reverbs a little (or divide the reverbed sounds a little, ie: make the high frequences on the snare delay and the lows on the voice so as to avoid muddiness).Lyrically it's very well written but I do have a minor complaint.The lyrics in the verses that end with:spirit free / story endsspirit faded/ story endsJars a little from the natural flow of the other lyrics. This could be intentional, but for me it creates a distraction from the form of the rest of the lyrics. I think you could sacrifice "Your story ends" for something stronger. It's a weak lyric anyway.Also, you have lots of illusions to love as nature. Rain, wind, etc... These images are perhaps a little tired in songwriting these days. I remember once being told by an A&R guy that he turned of to a track as soon as he heard any illusion to nature as it was so over used. Perhaps for this genre it's ok though. As I say, I'm no expert in this style.The instrumentation is great / lyrics are pretty good too. A few times your voice sounds overly strained though, as if you're holding back on the projection of high notes. This is a minor complaint though if you're submitting the song and not the performance.All in all it's a strong track.....but perhaps not a killer track. There is no killer line that lingers in my mind after listening. Perhaps that's the essential ingredient that's missing.Just the views of a fellow writer. Hope you can take something of use from them

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Re: Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by andreh » Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:17 pm

Hey 53mph & Kevin-Thanks for the lengthy replies...your points are well-taken. I agree that the hook is not prominent enough, and the melodic phrasing and cadence are part of the reason why. Aub had something similar to say about the track before I submitted; should've listened to him! Any additional comments are welcome.Andre
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Re: Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by Casey H » Thu Nov 02, 2006 3:04 am

Hi AndreA beautiful piece! Take this comments only from the perspective of the specific TAXI listing... The performance and production are not an issue for this type of artist pitch as long as they are decent enough and yours here meets that criteria. If this was a film/TV pitch, I'd say your vocal doesn't cut it (a bit strained and pitchy), but I'm sure you would get someone else to cut the vocal for you.The bottom line is they asked for hit songs. There is no killer chorus, especially nothing in the first minute or so that would make a hit song. The chorus does shine much more with the build at the end of the song.... Maybe if THAT intensity (both in melody and arrangement) was there early on, you could have it.If this was a call for a show-tune, not the title song, for a Broadway show, it might be a good match. Warm regards,Casey

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Re: Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by andreh » Thu Nov 02, 2006 7:24 pm

Thanks for your input, Casey and toncart. I'm not 100% sold on the singer either (it's me ), but I didn't have time to bring someone else in before this listing's expiration date. I wonder how much weight the vocal delivery carries on a listing where the song is for another artist to record...Anyway, I'll be taking your and others' comments to heart when I make changes to the song.Andre
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Re: Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by andreh » Thu Nov 02, 2006 7:45 pm

Update: I just got a wild hair and emailed Josh Groban directly (though through an email address I'm sure is screened with a fine-toothed comb) to see if he'd be willing to listen to and consider this song for an upcoming album. Guess I'd better get to work making it better! Andre
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Re: Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by matto » Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:09 pm

Quote:Update: I just got a wild hair and emailed Josh Groban directly (though through an email address I'm sure is screened with a fine-toothed comb) to see if he'd be willing to listen to and consider this song for an upcoming album. Guess I'd better get to work making it better! AndreHmm...wouldn't it have made more sense to first make it the most iron-clad kick ass hit song it could possibly be...and THEN email him? Sure there's only the tiniest chance anybody from his camp would respond, let alone in the affirmative...but wouldn't you wanna be prepared just in case?Btw I like your song Andre. It's definitely on target stylistically. It is well written with a good melody and nice lyrics. I think however the chorus would need to be more soaring and more convincing melodically from the get-go. As it is there is a bit of a let down when you arrive at it...it takes a while to get going, which IMO is a while too long in today's market.Also, while there's absolutely nothing wrong with the lyric, it doesn't feel fresh and unique enough to me, it's a bit too safe and predictable.For a HIT song that is...like what they are looking for here. Or like what Josh Groban would be looking to put on his next album.My 2c.matto

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Re: Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by andreh » Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:01 pm

Quote:Quote:Update: I just got a wild hair and emailed Josh Groban directly (though through an email address I'm sure is screened with a fine-toothed comb) to see if he'd be willing to listen to and consider this song for an upcoming album. Guess I'd better get to work making it better! AndreHmm...wouldn't it have made more sense to first make it the most iron-clad kick ass hit song it could possibly be...and THEN email him? Sure there's only the tiniest chance anybody from his camp would respond, let alone in the affirmative...but wouldn't you wanna be prepared just in case?Hi Matto-I thought of that right after I pressed "send," but my don't-be-afraid-of-the-world mantra won out over rational thinking. Now I HAVE to make it better (or write a new song )...glad you guys are here to help me along!I know it's important to put your very best foot forward when you have a chance to do your dance, but I let my endless struggle for perfection keep me from participating in life for too long and I'm trying to be more confident in my approach these days. However, that shouldn't come at the expense of shooting yourself in the foot (especially when you've already blown the other one off long ago), so thanks for the reminder. Looking forward to meeting you at the Rally, Matt.Andre
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Re: Rejection Conjecture, Round 2

Post by Casey H » Fri Nov 03, 2006 6:06 am

Hi AndreIt probably doesn't matter but, I see having that e-mail address as like having a gun with only one silver bullet... So, I'd only fire it when I have my best shot... Also, most well-known artists will not listen to unsolicited material for legal reasons. Too many times, someone has sent in a song, which was rejected, and that person later sued the artist for supposed copyright infringement. BUT, let's think positive! I recently responded to a lead even though I was told it was closed and would be put to death if I submitted. I ended up in direct email and phone dialog with a prominent music supervisor (Andre, you know who) and, with the right track, would have landed the placement.Cheers, Casey

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