Rock Staff Writers Needed!

[squidlips]

Quote:Quote:Remember, this is for a staff writer deal for rock. Most rock bands write their own songs, so the only way this "mogul" is gonna get songs cut is if his writers have stuff that's clearly better than what todays hottest rock acts write.So what you need here are "event" songs. "Signature" songs. UNDENIABLE HITS.I think the main "problem" with your songs vis-a-vis a listing like this is that conceptually they are not unique enough. Lyrically, they don't have unique hook. Matt,Thanks again for the wisdom you so often share. I hardly ever post lyrics without music, but this is such a high bar listing that I think the lyrics will have to stand on their own too. I'm happy with the music and arrangement for song#1 for this listing, but nothing really to post/hear yet. Lyrically, this is concept #4 for song #1-- I'm posting it to see how strong the concept/hooks/ideas are. At this point, I haven't really "word for word" dissected this technically. It's idea and word choice for now. The phrasing may seem odd without the flow of the music, and there are some meter issues as well that need fixing. Goals- memorable, somewhat shocking first line -- repetitive but interesting chorus (simple phrase with unique meaning), overall - unique simplicity. btw-- edited this post to make clear I'm not looking for feedback JUST from Matto Save MeVs1If I were JesusIt wouldn't be enoughYou'd crucify meAgain and again for funAll I get is emptyTrying to fill you upDon't want to be SocratesYou're hemlock in my cupPrechorusYou only said that you said itTo see if I would say what you needed to feed your diseaseYou only want me to want youSo I can be a puppet on the whim of your heart string teaseChorus1Save meFrom saving you from yourselfSave meThis time I'm running from the rescue2nd verseIf I could hate youThis would all be doneLoved every minuteHate what I've becomeprechorusI never meant not to mean itWish you never heard my trio of words too often saidYou know it hurts me to hurt youBut now I have to show my love by never ever loving you again Chorus 2Save meFrom saving you from yourselfSave meThis time I'm running from the rescueSave meFind your messiah somewhere elseBlame mefor letting you go but that's the only way I know to(bridge)Save me - from youSave me - from yousoloChorus 3Save meFrom saving you from yourselfSave meThis time I'm running from the rescueSave meFind your messiah somewhere elseBlame mefor letting you go but this time I'm not gonnaSave you Well, in that vein then.....I guess my only thought on these lyrics would be the line about Socrates......throughout that verse you use "I" lines until then. Perhaps you could change it to match up a bit more? "I'm not Socrates" or whatever?Certainly a catchy first line, lol. I like the lyrics a lot.

[daniel481]

I think that's awesome, Aub. Definitely memorable, and it paints some cool imagery. I like how edgy it is, as well...I'm really curious to hear what this sounds like set to music. Great start!No, back to working on some of my own Dan

[Casey H]

HiI know you didn't want to post the music but I am one of those who has a hard time reviewing just lyrics, especially in rock. I need the emotion.Although I am not qualified to review country lyrics, I can tell what doesn't work off the get-go just from a read... Not here... That's just me... Any chance you'll change your mind and post the music? Feel free to PM me the link to the tune if you'd like... Casey

[daniel481]

Alright, I have some music to post! These are the instrumental tracks I have for the first two songs I'm working on for this listing. They're not mixed or anything, so take that into account, but I just wanted to see what you guys think of them musically. A little less than two weeks left, I better keep crackin'! "Not Lost"http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=1Thanks Dots!Dan

[Pinkstar]

Quote:Here's the listing:Commercial/Mainstream ROCK STAFF WRITERS are sought by a hugely successful industry mogul (producer/writer/executive) who has formed a new Music Group/Label. He's seeking the absolute best - writers who understand today's Rock market and can deliver hit songs to the likes of Daughtry, Evanescence, Hinder, Puddle Of Mudd, Nickelback, etc. Co-writing experience a big plus. Please submit two to three songs online or per CD/cassette, include lyrics & bio. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received no later than Dec. 18, 2007. TAXI # S071218RKSo, my plan is to send in three songs, one of them being my song "Today's Catastrophe" that I sent in for the ala Green Day listing. Here's another one I just "finished" (when is a song ever really finished, right? ) This is definitely the "hardest" of the three, and I'm curious to see what everybody thinks. "Superficial"http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... &stream=1I really appreciate it! This could be a pretty cool gig. I guess it's a long shot, but I'm going for it... Thanks!DanI like that song, especially the verses. I'm submitting for that listing also, maybe we'll be working together soon;) How cool will that be?Much SuccessxoxoxoJVB

[Pinkstar]

Wow, those tracks are very good. I better get cracking myself! Thanks for the inspiration and "kick in the ass" xoxoxoJVBQuote:Alright, I have some music to post! These are the instrumental tracks I have for the first two songs I'm working on for this listing. They're not mixed or anything, so take that into account, but I just wanted to see what you guys think of them musically. A little less than two weeks left, I better keep crackin'! "Not Lost"http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=1Thanks Dots!Dan

[matto]

Dan, I really like the idea..."if you're gonna burn it, then burn it to the ground". I think that's a really good hook.I wish you'd explore that imagery and the (possible) meaning(s) of it more instead of getting off track and away from the burning idea to kicking, bruises, torture and slavery... In other words, I think you're not fully exploring your hook idea and doing it justice. Thus, by the time you get back to the last line "so burn it to the ground" I'm kinda..."oh yeah...right, it was about burning...uhmm, what's "it" again?" You have the right idea by bringing that hook back in the last line, it's just not an elegant or logical wrap-up.I think the melody is pretty strong, but not outstanding. It's a bit on the generic side; while I liked the ascending lines 3 and 4, I thought 3 followed to closely on the heels of "ground", which didn't allow the "burn it to the ground" line to fully resonate. To me that's your "power" line and it needs to be allowed to make it's full impact.HTH,matto

[daniel481]

Thanks. I didn't want to overdue the "Burn it" idea too much in the chorus because it's also explored heavily in the verses Stay tuned for those soon...Thanks for the other tips though, I'll definitely keep those in mind!

[gendron]

Daniel,I agree with matto about the chorus subject veering off before the hook is established, so this might be the perfect situation for a shorter chorus 1 and a longer chorus 2. Sorry I went a bit heavy on the lyric edit (way off the melody) but you get the idea. Cool hook BTW.C1If you're gonna burn itThen burn it to the groundI don't want remindersReigniting any firesSo if we're going downLet's burn it to the groundC2If you're gonna burn itThen burn it to the groundI don't want remindersReigniting any fireswe can't erase the future once it's foundI've been tortured and desiredBeaten, bruised and tiredSo if we're going down Let's burn it to the groundAll the best,Silence

[daniel481]

Alright, here's my first finished full song, "Burn it to the Ground". I like it...what do you guys think?"Burn it to the Ground"http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=trueGot everything packedI’m ready to leaveForced to evacuate this placeWon’t ever come backYou’re ruining meAnd here’s the last thing that I’ll sayIf you’re gonna burn itThen burn it to the groundI don’t want any remindersThe flames from this fireLet ‘em erase what we once foundAnd I’ve felt your tortureLet you bruise me, kick me downA slave you desiredI’m beaten and tiredSo burn it to the groundThough I’m not lookin’ backI’m feelin the heatIt’s from our blazing historyMy heart is attackedBut I have to believeYour little match will set me freeAnd as I think about our wreckageAs it burns I’m tryinTo understand that losing everythingIs worth not dyinThanks, I really appreciate it! Now I just have to finish the other two... Dan