Rock Staff Writers Needed!

[daniel481]

Oh, and btw, I did change the title to "Failing Wings". You're right, it's better

[andreh]

Dan-I listened to all your songs...good stuff! Here are some brief thoughts:Superficial:Cool harmonies and changes, great vibe and attitude. Chorus hook isn't very memorable or apparent.Today's Catastrophe:Nice song, but probably not hard enough for the listing. Very pleasant to listen to, but a somewhat undefined chorus.Burn It Down:Probably the closest match so far. Great energy, hooky chorus that comes early in the song. Guitar solo is a bit nondescript, but at least it's not too long.Not Lost:Another nice song; maybe not hard enough. I'm not really groovin' on the way the lyrics and melody work together. Chorus is huge like in most of your songs. Your mixes have good contrast - I can hear all the parts clearly. However, I hear too much midrange in your vocal and most of the guitar parts; try cutting some 3-4k here and there.Also, your vocals could use more compression or volume automation to even out their dynamics and keep certain words from getting lost in the mix.Keep up the great work! I predict a forward in your future...André

[daniel481]

Hey Andre, thanks for the tips! Somewhere in this long thread I actually posted that I'm not using "Superficial" or "Today's Catastrophe" since I decided they weren't good enough So, I'll be turning in "Burn it to the Ground", "Failing Wings", and "Not Lost". You mentioned "Not Lost" maybe not being hard enough, but I was going for more of the "Daughtry" style with it, which is really almost pop with heavy guitars. So hopefully it works!Thanks again,Dan

[ciskokidd]

Hey Dan!This is a good song. That's the problem. It's just another good song and IMO not up to par with "Burn" and "Failing Wings".I don't believe this has anything killer going for it. The melodies don't stick, the lyrics are okay, and the concept just isn't all that interesting IMO. I hope I'm not coming across too harsh. I just want to see you put your best foot forward on this listing and to me this one doesn't cut the mustard.Of course maybe I'm just not feeling the vibe on this song and someone else will tell me I'm full of it. Maybe Aub or Matt can comment on this one to get another opinion.Well buddy, you know I love the other two so don't think me too unkind. Best,CiscoPS: I ctach myself singing the hook to "Burn It to the Ground" every now and then. My wife thought it was a song I was writing!!

[daniel481]

Cool man, no worries...I honestly think I'm going to try to get one more finished by tuesday and turn four in. I'm oviously going to try to make it really strong, and hopefully that way I can hope for maybe two out of the four to get forwarded...I think I could be okay with that So yeah, we'll see what I come up with...but I'll say man, it's hard to try to write three or four "hits" in about month or whatever it's been. If I get even one forwarded I'll be really happy...Glad that hooks been in your head though! Not a bad sign!Thanks again,Dan

[daniel481]

Thanks Aub. It's so funny, after working on all of these, I was feeling like "Lost" might actually be the strongest, but what do I know, right I'm super curious to hear what kind of work you think it needs, if you could let me know that would be great!Thanks,Dan

[aubreyz]

Quote:Thanks Aub. It's so funny, after working on all of these, I was feeling like "Lost" might actually be the strongest, but what do I know, right I'm super curious to hear what kind of work you think it needs, if you could let me know that would be great!Thanks,DanEvaluating one's own work is the hardest work of all. That's one thing that makes this board so valuable. That being said, there's also a certain "gut factor" that I still trust -- I just don't trust it as blindly You know that line from Jerry Maguire "you had me at hello"... well in this case you lost me right after hello. The short intro sounded like a strong song was on the way... and then:I always knew this day would comeThe day when all’s been said and doneTwo back to back generic cliches that really give no clue as to what the song is about, or peaks interest to find out. The melody didn't grab me either.Now, let me be clear... this song is okay... not bad, but that's not your goal. My "gut" instinct is that this song has some very personal meaning to you. That can be good and bad. Good because you put your soul into it, bad because you might read things into the lyrics others won't know or feel. Make me interested or make me feel it. Right now, my sentiments pretty much agree with Cisco and Andre.This one might possible have great potential, but if you're gonna rewrite it... rewrite it to the ground Aub

[daniel481]

Yeah, I agree...it was the first one I started on, and yeah, it just didn't make it. I think "Burn it to the Ground" is my strongest shot, and actually think "Failing Wings" has a pretty good one, as well. Then I'll have one more here pretty soon, and I'll plan on submitting those three. It's just funny, I spent the most time on the lyrics for "Lost", trying to make it unique...and it ends up the most generic. Figures! Dan

[twilsbach]

Song three, Runaway.After two quick listens, here are my equally quick opinions:-The lyric is too cliche and generic. There's not nearly enough attitude or imagery for a hit rock song. The only part that grabs me is a line in the second verse: "I'm drinking deep, I'm finding ways to kill my mind" A search of the iTunes music store for "Runaway" returns 150 selections. -I really like the verse and melody. Interesting, rhythmic, short phrases. the energy rolls along very nicely from one line to the next, even though there is considerable space between each line.-The Chorus is the weakest part of the tune. With such a good verse melody you really need to kill us with the chorus, again a lyric rewrite will help immensely.I would also say, don't force it to get a third one in if its not there. You've got two that contenters. Submit those, let them stand on their own and keep working the others. With a listing like this, they'll want to hear more from you if they like what they hear in the first batch. Wow them again with some more hard work on the ones that aren't there yet.And again, I'm jealous of your production skills. I wish I lived in San Diego. I'd come hang out with you, you could teach me a thing or two. Also, because there is six inches of snow on the ground here in Indiana and I really hate being cold.

[daniel481]

Thanks...I know, I'm just freaking out last minute trying to somehow ensure that I'll get a forward...but it's really not gonna help anything I did mix the song and update a few things in case you wanna check it out again. It's probably not good enough for this listing, but I don't know anything about any of it at this point! My mind is fried from the last three weeks of trying to get these ready...Anyway, thanks for the tips though. I'm just going to let them be for now. Dan