"Roses For No Reason"- Demo in Peer to Peer

Want your lyics reviewed? Post 'em up!

Moderators: admin, mdc, TAXIstaff

User avatar
bucyboy
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 7:59 am
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Falls
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by bucyboy » Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:15 am

Hi lyricboy, I recognize you from Nashville, you were sitting behind me a couple of rows on the opposite side. Yea, if you're ever up Buffalo way give me a shout. I'll meet ya for a brew or two. Thanks for your suggestions. I did consider that mama is to old for slides and pony rides. I actually originally had the "kids on slides" line, but went with playground slides instead. I liked the way it sounded when I read it back. I'm going to run that by my producer and see what he thinks too. I'm hoping people will assume it's with children. I also had the "It" before "Appears", but dropped "it" as well. That too may be added back. I think I'll make that decision when we're in the studio and see how the singer delivers the lines. I do agree with you on switching the word "Of" with "And". I used the word "And" on the original draft, and used "Of" when I typed it out. I do like "And" better. I also tried the word "from" there. "Scrapbooks filled with memories from old photo's from the past". I also agree that "moonlight" night has to be "a moonlit" night. As far as the bridge, I think I'll leave that as is, at least for now. I do sometimes make lyric changes when we go into the studio and I actually hear the song with the production and the singer. You had a lot of good points and I appreciate you taking the time to look the song over like that! Like I said, if you get up Buffalo way, give me a holler!Buc

feaker
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 1736
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:26 am
Gender: Male
Location: Channing Michigan
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by feaker » Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:36 pm

BucReally cool song. I was just struming my acoustic and sung the whole thing. What great fun that was. Hard to get some of the words in there:)I played it in "A" with an oldfashioned flavor. Might be a little low, but it leaves room for a nice elevated chorus. paul

User avatar
bucyboy
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 7:59 am
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Falls
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by bucyboy » Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:36 am

Thanks Paul. I'm going to be cutting this in another week or so, depending on when I have a melody for it. After having some of my other material reviewed by Taxi, melodies seem to be one of my weaker areas. I went ahead and had the producer I use hire a pro melody writer out of Nashville and I'll see what he come up with. That way I'll have a writer from Nashville involved. Maybe I can get this honed to the point that it'll be worthy of a forward. If I don't like the melody, I won't use it. I'm anxious to see what he sends me.Buc

momof4
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 510
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:05 am
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by momof4 » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:47 am

great fresh imagery...as a mom/wife, i loved it. i agree that the 3rd chorus being totally different lyrically might throw some people, but maybe you can pull it off. not sure. it just makes the audience have to work harder to sing the song - they've got a lot to remember! i don't see a prob with the shore/your rhyme - if it's twanged up enough, shouldn't be an issue. and as a Texas girl, i agree that grown men call their dad's "Daddy". not all of them, but enough to make the issue irrelevant. that's just MHO. definitely post this once you get it recorded! seems to have a lot of potential. and i LOVE the hook - both the meaning and the way it rolls off the tongue. nice job!erin

User avatar
bucyboy
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 7:59 am
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Falls
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by bucyboy » Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:59 am

Thanks a lot Erin. I should be demoing this very shortly. About the daddy line, I talked to a friend of mine in Texas. She said the same thing, men in the west and the south either refer to their fathers as dad or daddy. My friends daughter use to ride in the rodeo and date Bubba Strait, George's son. She said George always refers to his father as daddy, so if it's good enough for George....Buc

User avatar
bucyboy
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 7:59 am
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Falls
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by bucyboy » Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:34 pm

Well... I asked my producer in Nashville to hire me a good melody writer for this song. I had a rough melody going of my own, but since melodies have been my weaker area according to my taxi feedback, I thought I'd try a pro. Not that he didn't write a nice melody, but totally at the other end of the spectrum from where I pictured this being. It kinda sounded like it had a Jimmy Buffet/Kenny Chesney "lets kick back and have a brewski in ole mexico" type of feel to it. Oh well, back to the drawing board as far as the melody goes. I think I'll give mine a go.Buc

claire
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 605
Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:40 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Nashville, TN
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by claire » Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:15 am

"daddy" is a southern term and I hear people talk about their daddy all the time down here. mama too. stick with daddy. Personally I would lose the dog For one thing, I thought you were talking about John Wayne when you said "Duke" and even though it obviously isn't that you're carrying around a poster of John Wayne in your truck, it made me have to stop and think - which you don't want to do on your first line. The first line and the last line of the song are major power points. The dog isn't relevant to the song. Keep it between the singer and his daddy.Commercially I'd stick with the v/c thing rather than aaba. Unless something has changed lately, they want to hear the chorus fast ("don't bore us, get to the chorus") and I've had people comment on aaba as being great for the classic ballads but not so much for uptempo stuff.Patti and daddy feel like they're there for the rhyme. Doesn't matter what her name is anyhow - we know she's the wife.I've never heard it called a "flower store". Florist. Flower shop. Doesn't feel like something someone would normally say.I'm torn about whether you might want to pick one of the choruses and stick with that one vs. keeping the two different choruses. I guess picking the freshest images from both and combining those, then keeping the chorus the same might be best. They're just both so well written, it's hard to decide. Absolutely the third chorus stays as is!Really well written stuff, definitely something the ladies are going to want to hear on the radio at 7 am (hi, Ralph!), a smile, a tear. Very cool. And yeah, keep "daddy" Claire

ontariolightning
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 709
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:20 pm
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by ontariolightning » Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:31 am

I can name a whole bunch of up tempo hits that were aaba in the last 10 yearsPatti and daddy is also fine

User avatar
bucyboy
Committed Musician
Committed Musician
Posts: 627
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 7:59 am
Gender: Male
Location: Niagara Falls
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by bucyboy » Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:12 pm

Hi Claire, Thanks for your thoughts on this song. I really did add the dog in the first line to kind of set the tone. At first it was his son, but I pictured a country boy hoping into his pickup and saying come-on to the dog, lets go for a ride. I used the word flower store because I couldn't picture a country boy using the word florist or flower shop, but I did also consider this.I know what you mean about the chorus. I've been trying to decide if I should keep it the same each time. I might demo it both ways and see how it sets. I didn't care for the melody I got back from another writer I hired to write. I think I'll go with my own. It sounded like a Jimmy Buffet song the way the melody writer wrote it, and I don't think that fits this lyric.Thanks again for your comments, they are much appreciated!Buc

jjktunes
Impressive
Impressive
Posts: 433
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2009 3:31 pm
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: Country story song- "Roses For No Reason"

Post by jjktunes » Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:26 am

Great lyric. and you have to leave the dog in it, cause thats country and just the way it is, take it from this ol'country boy I can take you to a little flower shop in my town and you will see Duke and his master within ten minutes.
Find something you love to do so much you will do it for free, and learn to do it so well they will pay you for it.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests