"Show me, don't tell me" (Indirectly!)

[Casey H]

They say that really good lyrics should "show me, don't tell me"... e.g. paint the picture without saying it directly. Can you name some good examples of song lyrics that do this well?One of the best examples that came to my mind (JMHO), was the old Carly Simon hit, "That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be"... My father sits at night with no lights onHis cigarette glows in the dark.The living room is still;I walk by, no remark.I tiptoe past the master bedroom whereMy mother reads her magazines.I hear her call sweet dreams,But I forgot how to dream.But you say it's time we moved in togetherAnd raised a family of our own, you and me -Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:You want to marry me, we'll marry.I like the way she paints the picture of her parent's marriage...C'mon... this has to be waaaaaaay more interesting than screener #216 and complaining about TAXI rejects. This is the essence of songwriting!Casey

[nomiyah]

I thought it was "Don't ask, don't tell". Are you sure you aren't violating the Patriot Act, KC?

[hummingbird]

I love the opening for "Whiskey Lullaby" - I think it's one of the most powerful opening lines I've heard in any lyric.She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigaretteShe broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forgetWe watched him drink his pain away a little at a timeBut he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mindUntil the night1st ChorusHe put that bottle to his head and pulled the triggerAnd finally drank away her memoryLife is short but this time it was biggerThan the strength he had to get up off his kneesWe found him with his face down in the pillowWith a note that said I'll love her till I dieAnd when we buried him beneath the willowThe angels sang a whiskey lullaby(c) Brad Paisley

[Casey H]

Oooops... Nomi, don't report me to the Patriot Police!! What I am looking for here is not just great lyrics and great imagery, though that overlaps with what I am talking about. For example, in Carly Simon's song she doesn't say, "my parent's life is like a xyz"... Even if "xyz" was a great metaphor, she would have said it directly as opposed to the "show me". I should qualify my request with the word "indirectly". (I edited the title of the thread).I'll be back when I think of some other good examples. BTW, samples from YOUR OWN lyrics are fine too! Casey

[hookstownbrown]

You mean like this, Casey?Love, Me...Written by Skip Ewing and recorded by Collin Raye...I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. He said,"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, insteadOf her, I found this letter, and this is what it said:If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.Between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.

[hummingbird]

Quote:You mean like this, Casey?Love, Me...Written by Skip Ewing and recorded by Collin Raye...I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. He said,"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, insteadOf her, I found this letter, and this is what it said:If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me.Between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you. Love, me. Lovely

[hummingbird]

Amarillo Sky(John Rich/Big Kenny/Rodney Clawson/Bart Pursley)He gets up before the dawnPacks a lunch and a thermos fuel of coffeeIt's another day in the dusty hazeThese burnin' rays are wearing down his bodyAnd diesel's worth the price of goldAnd it's the cheapest grain he's ever soldBut he's still holding onHe just takes the tractor another roundAnd pulls the plow across the groundAnd sends up another prayerHe says Lord I never complain I never ask whyBut please don't let my dreams run dryUnderneath,underneath thisAmarillo skyThat hail storm m back in '83Sure did take a toll on his familyBut he stayed strong and carried onJust like his dad and granddad did before himOn his knees every night he praysPlease let my crops and children growCause that's all he's ever knownHe just takes the tractor another roundAnd pulls the plow across the groundAnd sends up another prayerHe says Lord I never complain I never ask whyBut please don't let my dreams run dryUnderneath,underneath thisAmarillo skyAnd he takes the tractor another roadAnother round,another roundAnd he takes the tractor another roundAnother roundHe says I never complain I never ask whyBut please don't let my dreams run dryUnderneath,underneath thisAmarillo skyUnderneath thisAmarillo sky

[Casey H]

Hey guys and galsDefinitely some great storytelling lyrics with great imagery! OK, I'm being a pain in the *ss here. Imagine you are teaching a class on songwriting and want to differentiate between these techniques, which admittedly do overlap.Great story tellingGreat imageryGreat use of metaphors (and similes)Painting a picture without every saying something directlyAm I making sense? The 4th category above is different. It's kind of like saying you are walking on crunching leaves without ever using the word autumn or saying what time of year it is.So, if you tell a story, even with the best imagery, it is not what I am looking for here. Casey

[pitterpatter]

Are you talking about 'subtext?' It's saying one thing but meaning another ie, a couple could be literally arguing about who should wash the dishes but they are really arguing over their inlaws coming to visit. I never thought about the need for this in songs although it is very important to scriptwriting. Is it important to use subtext in songs? There has to be something said for the art of clarity too. 'Show me, don't tell me', would seem to me to be more something that could be done in movies or with video. Show the thing in pictures. Don't just dialogue it to death.

[Casey H]

Hi PitterNo, not talking about subtext and not about saying one thing while meaning the other. I'm taking about painting a picture without saying something directly. In the Carly Simon song, she is painting a picture of her parent's life without ever saying, "my parents settled down to a dull life". Granted, the sad music behind the lyrics helps a lot.I am not saying this is very important in songwriting. I'm just looking for examples and bringing it up for discussion. Casey