TOO much contrast?

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johnnydean1
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by johnnydean1 » Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:35 pm

Andreh,what I would like to know is what do YOU really think.You are obviously a talented and experienced musician and you wouldn't have asked the question unless you had some real concerns.Seems to me except for one everybody else has said leave things as they are.Will You.

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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:50 am

Quote:Quote:Hi Friends-I'm updating a song called "Talk" that I wrote for a film a few years ago; I think it may have some appeal in the pop arena:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... bndsq=1I'd appreciate your feedback on any aspect of it, but I'm mostly interested in whether the verses & bridge seem to fit together with the chorus - there's a pretty drastic change of energy and vibe between these sections.TIA,Andre Hey Andre - the chorus is rockin' - I wouldn't change anything about that. The verses... the lyrics are a little confusing to me... I'll italicise the lines that I'm not following...You got somethin' that I wanna get into...uh huh It's not like you don't but you're not lettin' me through I'm not just like all the other boys you knew But let me promise you this, if you just open the door Yeah I'm gonna walk right through -- it's not like you don't... what?Is this love we're fakin', it's mystery...to me 'Bout time that we make it conversationally Your sweet nothin', somethin's got to make you see So let's get this back to the topic, I'm pickin' up on your thing Your talkin' starts to sing -- your sweet nothin ... ?For me the bridge works. The chorus is great. I'm singing it right now, dancin at the keyboard Vikki,Thank great! Gettin' ya groovin' is what this song is all about.That first ambiguous verse line does need to be clarified; others have questioned its meaning as well.The "sweet nothin'" line was meant to be a play on the "Talk" subject (whispering sweet nothings), so I may keep that in there.Thanks for the feedback.Andre
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:53 am

Quote:Hey André,Just listened to it.I think in the verse are too much bass-notes, it sounds a little overarranged to me, especially in the bass-area. The chorus rocks, though it reminds me on this song "...hey, your a rockstar..." - sorry I can't remember the name of the band. I think its not the same melody, just a quite similar rhythm and kind of the writing.in conclusion I would suggest to tighten the vers, I think that's the weakest point in the track. I like the chorus.cheers,MartinThanks Martin; I hear what you're talking about - there is definitiely more low-end in the verses, partially because of the different instrumentation there (which was one of my concerns about its continuity with the chorus). I'll see what I can do about this issue.Andre
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:56 am

Quote:My Initial reaction was "HUh?" for the first few seconds because it didnt have an intro (maybe it was clipped off? ) but it kinda grew on me by about 25 secs. By 30 secs you hit the chorus and I was hooked enough to listen all theway thru.. Sort of David Bowie meets "someone I cant remember" It hangs together well and its not dated (unless you think hiphop Rap etc is the be all and end all of music) Lyrically , I dont think anyone is gonna be listening too much to the lyric.I didnt and I enjoyed the groove regardless and chrous is very singalongable ( and Im an Old fart)Carr-I did chop off the 4-bar intro in this version; if I recall it fit the scene of the movie it was used in better that way. I'll probably put it back in before I send it elsewhere.Glad you dug the groove!Andre
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:58 am

Quote:Andre, I think the contrast is great. The voice has a tone I'd enjoy listening to over and again. The musical flow from v- c- b worked out nicely. The CHORUS... well, uhm.... perfect!. Although it might be a bit close to Smash Mouth's " AllStar." Simple remedy look 'em up and see the sim's and diff's and change accordingly.Unfortunately I agree with the others that the two verses stumble into the "huh? factor" except for the suggestive moans - very much a keep). I do have few points to make... but I'm not sure of the the etiquette here so I'll do it like they do it elsewhere. I'll suggest and you'll "keep or sweep."Bold face indicates the "obvious" ( my suggestions )... mostly for continuity sake or simple clarity. You sang the song so well I almost missed them jk V1You got somethin' that I wanna get into...uh huh (I'm) You're not sayin' you won't but you're not askin' me to I might sound like all the other boys you knew But let me promise you this, if you just open the door Yeah I'm gonna walk right throughV2 Is this love we're fakin', it's mystery...to me 'Bout time that we make it conversationally My sweet nothin's, somethin' you gotta see Don't go changing the subject, I'm pickin' up on your thing UhMMM You know how to pull my strings. (I'm not sure about line 1. V2 and the love fakin' thing ... but you pull it off vocally so i really can't argue about it. Line 2. is great, and the other I made some suggestions so my opinion is obvious. I didn't know how to spell the uhMMM sound so i just wrote it phonetically )I enjoyed it "as is" so there isn't much you need to fix. Can't wait to hear your conclusions.PeaceD Hey Dogs-Thanks a lot for the specific feedback! I appreciate the listen.Andre
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:01 am

Quote:Quote:Hi Friends-I'm updating a song called "Talk" that I wrote for a film a few years ago; I think it may have some appeal in the pop arena:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... bndsq=1I'd appreciate your feedback on any aspect of it, but I'm mostly interested in whether the verses & bridge seem to fit together with the chorus - there's a pretty drastic change of energy and vibe between these sections.TIA,Andre I like it but I think you have an R&B verse and a Pop hook and it doesn't really work for me.Maybe in a film environment it marks a change of scene but as audio alone it seems a bit incongruous.Having said that I think they are great in their own right but not together.Mick.Mick-This was my biggest concern about the song...I totally agree with what you're saying, but since I know the song so well the transition seems natural to me by now.I think the key (barring a re-write) will be finding a place for it where both sections fit the intended purpose. How often will a listing or opportunity come up like that? Who knows. Thanks for the feedback!Andre
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:04 am

Quote:Hi AndrehI don't hear too much contrast at all. It DOES sound a bit like Smashmouth's "All Star" as mentioned, but that also might make it a great replacement track.BTW, remember a few month back I talked to you about a replacement track for a Hockey film? They were looking to replace Story of the Year's "Until The Day I Die". That very successful song has a huge contrast for the chorus, much more so than this track. So, don't sweat it at all. CaseyCasey-Glad to hear the song seems to gel with some people. I think I did write it with that Smashmouth song as a reference, and I still see requests for Smashmouth "A la's" so maybe I can plug it in to one of them.Thanks,Andre
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:05 am

Quote:Quote:Hi Friends-I'm updating a song called "Talk" that I wrote for a film a few years ago; I think it may have some appeal in the pop arena:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... bndsq=1I'd appreciate your feedback on any aspect of it, but I'm mostly interested in whether the verses & bridge seem to fit together with the chorus - there's a pretty drastic change of energy and vibe between these sections.TIA,Andre Song is fine. Kind a cool Smashmouth/All Am Rejects type of tune but different enough. I like all your changes from the first verse, on. Got me listening ! The bridge gives the necessary breath. This kind of song is all over the usual audio cable channels. Good job. Thanks Shaka! Do you mean the cable music channels, or on cable TV shows?Andre
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:07 am

Quote:Very good song Andre, I like the lyrical concept of it a lot, it's very strong and unique. The verse lyric could be tightened up in a few spots as others have mentioned.I don't hear any problems musically, the production is a bit dated (a la Smashmouth)...a few years ago this would've been snatched up by music libraries in the blink of an eye.However the song itself is easily strong enough so it's a great idea to redemo it with a more current sound.The contrast is not a problem imo, it's really not THAT big. One thing to remember: If by "appeal in the pop arena" you mean you'd like to try to pitch it to pop artists, keep in mind that the vast majority of bands/artist who would do this type of material are typically writing their own stuff and not looking for outside songs to cut.Just something to keep in mind.mattoThanks Matto! Can you think of a few production/instrumentation suggestions that would give the song a more current sound?Andre
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:09 am

Quote:Excellent tracks dude!.... I think the tune is rockin hot.... great riffs... didn't have anything about the bridge that bothered me.... writing stuff at this tempo that is this good and together is not necessarily easy.... you've done a great job with it... All that being said... on my first listen without seeing the lyrics I thought the song had a more erotic intention in the chorus if you know what I mean... then I saw that is all I wanna do is talk... I missed that in the verse... ArkJackHi Ark-Thanks for the feedback. I did want the verses to be suggestive, but the song needed to be "PG" rated for its original intended purpose so I didn't go overboard. Isn't my boyband moaing enough? Andre
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