TOO much contrast?

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andreh
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TOO much contrast?

Post by andreh » Sat Jan 20, 2007 6:38 pm

Hi Friends-I'm updating a song called "Talk" that I wrote for a film a few years ago; I think it may have some appeal in the pop arena:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... bndsq=1I'd appreciate your feedback on any aspect of it, but I'm mostly interested in whether the verses & bridge seem to fit together with the chorus - there's a pretty drastic change of energy and vibe between these sections.TIA,Andre
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by hummingbird » Sat Jan 20, 2007 9:24 pm

Quote:Hi Friends-I'm updating a song called "Talk" that I wrote for a film a few years ago; I think it may have some appeal in the pop arena:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... bndsq=1I'd appreciate your feedback on any aspect of it, but I'm mostly interested in whether the verses & bridge seem to fit together with the chorus - there's a pretty drastic change of energy and vibe between these sections.TIA,Andre Hey Andre - the chorus is rockin' - I wouldn't change anything about that. The verses... the lyrics are a little confusing to me... I'll italicise the lines that I'm not following...You got somethin' that I wanna get into...uh huh It's not like you don't but you're not lettin' me through I'm not just like all the other boys you knew But let me promise you this, if you just open the door Yeah I'm gonna walk right through -- it's not like you don't... what?Is this love we're fakin', it's mystery...to me 'Bout time that we make it conversationally Your sweet nothin', somethin's got to make you see So let's get this back to the topic, I'm pickin' up on your thing Your talkin' starts to sing -- your sweet nothin ... ?For me the bridge works. The chorus is great. I'm singing it right now, dancin at the keyboard
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by gitarrero » Sun Jan 21, 2007 12:16 am

Hey André,Just listened to it.I think in the verse are too much bass-notes, it sounds a little overarranged to me, especially in the bass-area. The chorus rocks, though it reminds me on this song "...hey, your a rockstar..." - sorry I can't remember the name of the band. I think its not the same melody, just a quite similar rhythm and kind of the writing.in conclusion I would suggest to tighten the vers, I think that's the weakest point in the track. I like the chorus.cheers,Martin
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by carr » Sun Jan 21, 2007 1:28 am

My Initial reaction was "HUh?" for the first few seconds because it didnt have an intro (maybe it was clipped off? ) but it kinda grew on me by about 25 secs. By 30 secs you hit the chorus and I was hooked enough to listen all theway thru.. Sort of David Bowie meets "someone I cant remember" It hangs together well and its not dated (unless you think hiphop Rap etc is the be all and end all of music) Lyrically , I dont think anyone is gonna be listening too much to the lyric.I didnt and I enjoyed the groove regardless and chrous is very singalongable ( and Im an Old fart)

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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by michael11 » Sun Jan 21, 2007 2:15 am

Quote:Hi Friends-I'm updating a song called "Talk" that I wrote for a film a few years ago; I think it may have some appeal in the pop arena:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... bndsq=1I'd appreciate your feedback on any aspect of it, but I'm mostly interested in whether the verses & bridge seem to fit together with the chorus - there's a pretty drastic change of energy and vibe between these sections.TIA,Andre I like it but I think you have an R&B verse and a Pop hook and it doesn't really work for me.Maybe in a film environment it marks a change of scene but as audio alone it seems a bit incongruous.Having said that I think they are great in their own right but not together.Mick.
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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by Casey H » Sun Jan 21, 2007 5:06 am

Hi AndrehI don't hear too much contrast at all. It DOES sound a bit like Smashmouth's "All Star" as mentioned, but that also might make it a great replacement track.BTW, remember a few month back I talked to you about a replacement track for a Hockey film? They were looking to replace Story of the Year's "Until The Day I Die". That very successful song has a huge contrast for the chorus, much more so than this track. So, don't sweat it at all. Casey

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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by matto » Sun Jan 21, 2007 7:15 am

Very good song Andre, I like the lyrical concept of it a lot, it's very strong and unique. The verse lyric could be tightened up in a few spots as others have mentioned.I don't hear any problems musically, the production is a bit dated (a la Smashmouth)...a few years ago this would've been snatched up by music libraries in the blink of an eye.However the song itself is easily strong enough so it's a great idea to redemo it with a more current sound.The contrast is not a problem imo, it's really not THAT big. One thing to remember: If by "appeal in the pop arena" you mean you'd like to try to pitch it to pop artists, keep in mind that the vast majority of bands/artist who would do this type of material are typically writing their own stuff and not looking for outside songs to cut.Just something to keep in mind.matto

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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by arkjack » Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:56 am

Excellent tracks dude!.... I think the tune is rockin hot.... great riffs... didn't have anything about the bridge that bothered me.... writing stuff at this tempo that is this good and together is not necessarily easy.... you've done a great job with it... All that being said... on my first listen without seeing the lyrics I thought the song had a more erotic intention in the chorus if you know what I mean... then I saw that is all I wanna do is talk... I missed that in the verse... ArkJack

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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by matto » Sun Jan 21, 2007 1:16 pm

Ahem...guys...I think you're missing the whole point of this lyric...IMO it's exactly that twist at the end of the chorus that lifts this song above average lyrically. The fact that you're mislead into thinking when he says "doin it in the treehouse" he really means "doin' it in the treehouse" is what makes this lyric fun and unusual and commercially appealing.If he changed it to actually mean "doing it" it would be the same old same old sex and drugs and rock n roll song that would've been lame even 30 years ago.

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Re: TOO much contrast?

Post by arkjack » Sun Jan 21, 2007 2:19 pm

I get it..... its a double meaning..... you can only talk so long....

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