wooHOO! (now, with lyrics!!)

[heinsite]

yes Ted....man do i understand that process...and you had a co-writer...a leg up i'd say. i usually end up talking to MYSELF...LOL...keep up the good work.wh

[jeep]

Jul 7, 2009, 8:53am, tedsingingfox wrote:[quote author=heinsite board=peer thread=14556 post=149114 time=1246945594]hi Ted!well, i like this effort allot, just think this draft has a few to many little "connector" words, trim them IMHO.in the chorus, i kinda liked it stopping right before the quick words "and i'm thinking i can love you"--yeah , listening again, i can hear it ending with "i swear i'm fallin'"actually think that faster paced bit could serve as a great break--you have your bridge....just a thought, wouldn't be hard...my rudimentary suggestion would be to put that quick line in someplace else...intro? hmm..great progress, still hear this tunes potential, keep up the good work!the best,warrenPS--another slice of time to kill is a GREAT line IMHO...but not too crazy about the "morning sun" line, a bit too cliche, no?Hey, Warren.This was a great example for Mike and I about how it's usually SO MUCH easier to write music and lyrics together, 'cause we STRUGGLED for two weeks with trying to fit words into an already established musical structure. FINALLY, the third week, we simply shut off the "editor" in our brains and filled in the blanks.Never HAVE been happy with that "morning sun" line, but we needed something to work with...no matter how cliched it was.Thanks for the feedback.Ted[/quoteHey Ted jus wondering did you finish that one were we all tried to write lyrics for....Dave

[tedsingingfox]

Jul 7, 2009, 12:33pm, jeep wrote:Hey Ted jus wondering did you finish that one were we all tried to write lyrics for....DaveHey, Dave.I'm guessing you're talking about what I call "Just Say It". And if my guess is correct, my answer is no. I'm still going back to it over and over again, hoping to spark something that speaks to me, but it hasn't happened yet. These days, I'm trying to play it with different rhythms, in different styles, to free up something in my mind. So far, I really like the sorta bluegrass-y version, as it doesn't tie me into such an emotional, wistful piece. Still don't have any words, though. But thanks for asking.

[aldicicco]

Hey Ted!I like this tune. I think you've got a really solid structure to work with.Given that it is an upbeat song, I was half-expecting the words to be coming a little more quickly. I think you definitely achieve this in the chorus, but the verses seem a little lengthier. Do I make any sense?Perhaps something a little-more rapid fire while he's chasing after her in the second verse, might be a good way to build momentum and raise the energy....My two cents. As you know, I'm no lyricist (or a singer for that matter).I look forward to your next version of this.Best wishes,Al

[jeffgreenleaf]

Great lyrics, excellent phrasing...go for it!

[feaker]

Good work Ted.The chorus is very catchy.I know a good place for this.wa-hoo on yahoo Paul

[annathomas]

Very catchy! Wow a full band would just kill this. Can't wait to hear it as you continue to develop it for more instrumentation... Love the bridge - one thought, I wonder if everything could drop out to just some strummed (ringing) chords when you say: "Now there's an organ playing and all the guests are praying" - maybe even a slight retard - then everything kicks back in at: "Here comes the preacher saying Do You" with a ripping guitar solo coming in over the first chorus then out on repeat chorus to end...Just some thoughts. Very cool song!

[cameron]

Hey Ted,It's definitely catchy, and for sure you've got a knack for melody. I really enjoyed the chorus and the only part of the song that really didn't do it for me musically was the first line of each verse, i.e. at the part where you sing "thoughts at Charlie's Grille" in the first verse. This delayed chord change sequence adds some character but to me it also just sort of made the song drag at that point, which is I think what Al was maybe referring to earlier. I listened a few times thinking maybe I just needed to get used to it but it never did grab me. Of course, I'm just one opinion, so keep that in mind. Otherwise, the song is very cool, and I love the bridge too. I didn't realize before what a good voice you have. I guess I should have known that if you didn't you wouldn't have been at Opryland, but I had just never heard you sing before.Cam

[markjsmith]

Nice Chorus!

[tedsingingfox]

Jul 7, 2009, 8:52pm, aldicicco wrote:Hey Ted!Perhaps something a little-more rapid fire while he's chasing after her in the second verse, might be a good way to build momentum and raise the energy....AlInteresting idea, there, Al. I'll toss that one out to Mike and see what he thinks. My biggest concern is that I was recently told how important it is for the line structure/cadence to be consistent from verse to verse (even though I could quote you 5-10 examples right now of "hit songs" where that's not the case).Either way, thanks for the listen and the feedback.Ted