Alt-Pop/Rock for Twilight-type Soundtrack

[scounter72]

Tommy, I was thinking mostly about the the mix and production. I think in the interests of maintaining a commercial edge, I rate the vocal as being very good and wouldn't change that. As I say, I'm not the best at articulating changes in that area, but musically, an alternate version would be more centred around the electric guitar (with the acoustic dropping out in the verses either completely, or mix them very low). The acoustic parts would support the electric - at the moment they share the same space (effectively). The electric tone would be more hard rock / nu metal (don't really like that term, but I think you'll know what I mean) than alt or pop rock, too - that riff is a hard rock riff to my ears...somewhere between King's X, Smashing Pumpkins and Reuben. I think the midd 8 eight section would really float out there then, as a contrasting part.This smacks of many dilemmas I see in making commercial music at the moment - trying to hit more than one base within the same song, but be defined by genre at the same time. Tough ask.A measure of the quality of the song, though, will always be that it can be arranged in a number of different ways, eh?

[tommyjamz]

Scounter72,Ok, I gotcha now. Thanks for the clarification. I did use the acoustics more in the verses to try and make the track breathe and mellow out a bit more in those sections.The guitars are tuned to drop D, which in itself lends to heavy rock like you mentioned, and then we tuned everything an additional whole step down for that additional thickness.I would agree about switching or layering in some heavier guitar tone, like mesa heavy, and backing off the acoustics to make a heavier track, though I think then I would amost reimagine the whole vocal approach as well... we'll see.I really appreciate your feedback!

[billg]

hey, the linked workd this time . . . I love the way this sounds, the way the acoustics sound tuned down, the drums, all of it is really really good & I personally don't think you need to go with heavier guitar tones.I think the chorus is strong. Song falls more to alt-rock imo. Very cool!

[deantaylor]

Must be some taxi glitches .. I can't get the page to load. I'll try again later.

[jdhogg]

You have potentially got a great song there.Where you go from here is personal taste...all imho.The last line of the verse needs lookin at.I can see the logic of breakin it up a little to create tension but its not quite right.I would shorten that line then add a link/lift line.As it stands "Freefall " is the title but I can see why you went with "just a memory" as that is the killer melodic moment.I would try using "freefall" in the link and then try front loading the chorus with the "memory" line as well.I would not fiddle around with the sounds yet (sounds good to me) as your problem is structure imho.

[jdhogg]

forgot to mention ....to make it clear....use the "freefall" lyric or variation of but a different melody for the link.Might be worth a try.

[tommyjamz]

Thanks for your input jd!I like the idea of beginning the chorus with a "memory" reference too.I'm really considering a rewrite of the chorus altogether as I just don't think the impact of what I am conveying with the words achieve what I am conveying with the melody/delivery. I feel like I got the chorus' vocal-production right, as in phrasing, melody, harmony, and performance, but the words just don't really say what I feel like I need them to say for the story. It just feels like it falls a touch short of having the impact on the story that I need it to have.That's MY opinion, but I wanted to hear what some of you thought before changing anything.I left the song in this form because I went out in the car one night and listened to some alt-rock on the radio (old green day, old GnR from the terminator 2 soundtrack, foo fighters, and such) and it left me assured that alt-rock lyrics dont usually make a whole lot of sense, or tell a great story. I really want the song to have commercial strength though, and it seems like more and more often today, even alt-rock lyrics are being masterfully put together. SO, I'd better buck up!!! In any case, I really appreciate all the thoughtful ideas for tweaks on this.

[feaker]

TommyI finally can hear something that sounds "current" I say that because I have always been told that my stuff is not.I can however relate and enjoy this because the music is just good.SincerelyPaul

[watksco]

Oct 8, 2009, 12:15pm, tommyjamz wrote:I left the song in this form because I went out in the car one night and listened to some alt-rock on the radio (old green day, old GnR from the terminator 2 soundtrack, foo fighters, and such) and it left me assured that alt-rock lyrics dont usually make a whole lot of sense, or tell a great story. Too true - but think how much more memorable had they taken the time to write a truely great lyricIt is a great song you've got there - just get the chorus to tie the story together more.BTW - what are you using for drums?Scott

[deantaylor]

Tommy,Good song. Sounds real good. I agree with you .. the chorus hook and lyric is not strong enough yet. To me the hook is 'free fall' and 'wake up'. I think I'd first try to rewrite around that. Your chorus may also be too wordy, especially the last 2 lines. If you shortened all the chorus lines, more like lines 1 and 2, that would give you more contrast to the verses and more 'space' to hit the 'free fall' hook more often. I could suggest something very rough based on what you have already, but I really don't like editing peoples lyrics unless I know you want that (pm me if you do). And yes if you could sum up the 'story' a little better in the chorus, it can only help you.Enjoyed the listen.DeanPS I like the Twilight movie!