Good thoughts for my daughter, please . . .

[suzdoyle]

Hey there everyone;I'll be moving up to Portland for a week or two to help my daughter 24/7 as she stabilizes. She's been having continuing episodes of shutting down and feeling traumatized, then returning to her usual present and amazing self. She had a particularly trying spell on Friday night. I called over friends of mine who are counselors/ physical therapist + consulted by phone with a friend who is a psychiatrist to try to decide whether to get her to an emergency room, or not. The consensus was that it was a psychological issue, rather than a physical one, so, we stayed by her side, soothing her and watching her carefully until she came out of it.Scary stuff. BUT, it prepared me well for the next day. We went to a clinical psychologist 1-1/2 hours north of here, who said she's got the classic symptoms of post traumatic stress. Even though her car accident in January was fairly minor, right before impact she felt she was going to die, which can trigger episodes of panic and trauma later, often triggered by things unconsciously taken in at the time of the accident. Hearing that he's had great success helping people get better from this gave us a lot of hope for Lyris being able to heal this.AND THEN . . . On the way home, on the freeway an hour north of home, the car in front of us lost control, spun around 180 degrees and crashed into the car to the left of us. !! How's that for CRAPPY timing? !! A car crash next to us while driving back from a psychologist appointment all about still feeling traumatized from a car crash. !!It seemed that those involved in the accident were okay, but my daughter was triggered into an extreme panic. Strangely (most likely because of the previous night's experience), I felt calm and grounded. I wrapped her in a blanket, said soothing words, and realized I needed to get our car away from the freeway and the accident scene. So i left my business card with a person at the scene (to give to the police if they need my eye-witness account), and drove to the nearest exit to find a quiet place to get Lyris calmed down. It took 20 or 30 minutes to do so (and surprisingly a humorous theme song really did the trick to flip her out of the panic).After a while, she was stabilized enough that I could continue driving us home to Corvallis. She was exhausted the rest of the day, but closer to being her usual self.Anyway, while it's frustrating to have the new accident trigger her so much, it was helpful to understand what is going on for her, and how to help her through these episodes.After a good night's sleep, we went for a walk downtown today (about 2 miles); on the way back, she starting having some mild symptoms start to get triggered. So I called a friend, who gave us a ride home.Once home, we got Lyris fed, in the bath, reading some comic books (they help her focus her mind when she's feeling off), etc.Soooooooo, this process is going to take some time. Even though the past few days have been challenging, I feel grateful that we're better understanding what the issues are.So, my dear Taxi co-horts, I'll be in mom mode over the next few weeks, and may not have much email or web time. As always, I (and Lyris) deeply appreciate your continued good thoughts and wishes for her well being (and mine!). I'll check in again when things get on a bit more of an even keel.Big HUGS to all of you!Suz

[llama]

Hey Suz,Big hugs to you too. Just to let you know that you guys are in my prayers. That's just unbelievable to have an accident happen so close to you guys during your journey. But through all this she's lucky to have such a caring dedicated mum.Derek

[squids]

Apr 11, 2009, 7:30pm, mojobone wrote:Apr 8, 2009, 4:49am, squids wrote:Hi Suz,I volunteer with cancer patients and know a LOT of docs. It amazes me how remarkably alike some of them are in terms of their bedside manner. Neurologists are made fun of by cardiologists and neurosurgeons as being too 'big for their britches'.....of course neurosurgeons and cardios argue amongst themselves about who's betta.....one says he operates on patients he kills and then brings back to life, the other says he operates on patients' brains while they're awake, so there. Ridiculous.Some of them are jes buttheads, you ask me. It's enough to make anyone, and I mean, anyone, no matta how kind, sweet, intelligent and thoughtful, a screaming nutjob fo about two hours afta seeing one of them. I almost smacked one once on behalf of a patient. Instead I broke the end off one of my teeth because I ground on them so hard, listenin ta the lil blowhard. ARrgh!!There're some really nice ones too but the older ones say that the new school of thought of 'making a nicer doc' will cost us all, since they're allowed to get appropriate sleep (supposedly) in med school and thereby miss hours and hours of surgeries and experience they might otherwise have (which would then turn them into the kinda doc Lyris experienced). I don't care; they can get the experience outside of med school.....everyone else does. I'd ratha have a human being with some sensitivity takin care of me. Of course, I disallow surgeons; everyone is jes a case ta them, mostly, which is as it should be, really. They can't get emotionally involved or their work would suffer and so would we. Neurologists aren't surgeons so they can jes go back to mama and learn some manners. Meantime, she's doin good to bounce back so fast. I've known some mature ladies who came unglued fo a few days afta having neuro tests done with a jerk. She's doing great!It does indeed require a great deal of ego to cut another person open. (almost as much as is required to spill your guts onstage ) And that's the difference, ya see. Artists perform surgery on themselves daily and the ones I met in Nashville not only didn't have an ego about it but apparently have a high pain tolerance too. I've spilled my guts in 2-1/2 minute intervals fo years and somehow still stay upright. I don't think it's much ta ask my surgeon ta do the same ta me if I need it. With appropriate anesthetic. Since I don't know him. I'll pass the hat too, Suz, if you need a hand. I know it don't come cheap ta get good care, believe me I know.

[squids]

Apr 12, 2009, 2:32pm, suzdoyle wrote:Hey there everyone;I'll be moving up to Portland for a week or two to help my daughter 24/7 as she stabilizes. She's been having continuing episodes of shutting down and feeling traumatized, then returning to her usual present and amazing self. She had a particularly trying spell on Friday night. I called over friends of mine who are counselors/ physical therapist + consulted by phone with a friend who is a psychiatrist to try to decide whether to get her to an emergency room, or not. The consensus was that it was a psychological issue, rather than a physical one, so, we stayed by her side, soothing her and watching her carefully until she came out of it.Scary stuff. BUT, it prepared me well for the next day. We went to a clinical psychologist 1-1/2 hours north of here, who said she's got the classic symptoms of post traumatic stress. Even though her car accident in January was fairly minor, right before impact she felt she was going to die, which can trigger episodes of panic and trauma later, often triggered by things unconsciously taken in at the time of the accident. Hearing that he's had great success helping people get better from this gave us a lot of hope for Lyris being able to heal this.AND THEN . . . On the way home, on the freeway an hour north of home, the car in front of us lost control, spun around 180 degrees and crashed into the car to the left of us. !! How's that for CRAPPY timing? !! A car crash next to us while driving back from a psychologist appointment all about still feeling traumatized from a car crash. !!It seemed that those involved in the accident were okay, but my daughter was triggered into an extreme panic. Strangely (most likely because of the previous night's experience), I felt calm and grounded. I wrapped her in a blanket, said soothing words, and realized I needed to get our car away from the freeway and the accident scene. So i left my business card with a person at the scene (to give to the police if they need my eye-witness account), and drove to the nearest exit to find a quiet place to get Lyris calmed down. It took 20 or 30 minutes to do so (and surprisingly a humorous theme song really did the trick to flip her out of the panic).After a while, she was stabilized enough that I could continue driving us home to Corvallis. She was exhausted the rest of the day, but closer to being her usual self.Anyway, while it's frustrating to have the new accident trigger her so much, it was helpful to understand what is going on for her, and how to help her through these episodes.After a good night's sleep, we went for a walk downtown today (about 2 miles); on the way back, she starting having some mild symptoms start to get triggered. So I called a friend, who gave us a ride home.Once home, we got Lyris fed, in the bath, reading some comic books (they help her focus her mind when she's feeling off), etc.Soooooooo, this process is going to take some time. Even though the past few days have been challenging, I feel grateful that we're better understanding what the issues are.So, my dear Taxi co-horts, I'll be in mom mode over the next few weeks, and may not have much email or web time. As always, I (and Lyris) deeply appreciate your continued good thoughts and wishes for her well being (and mine!). I'll check in again when things get on a bit more of an even keel.Big HUGS to all of you!SuzYou go be a mama, Suz. We all need that, especially youngsters with PTSD (we saw a lotta that post-Katrina). Big mama mode (as I call it) gives us mamas a chance to do our thing, it reassures tired and frightened patients and gets them the one-on-one care they need. You rock!! I'll watch fo updates and like I said, you need anythin....all y'all jes PM.

[partyofone]

Suz, I'm sorry to hear this but I'll try to send some positive energy her way.

[elser]

Suz,I don't know you but I can tell from your posts you are a strong creative woman. My warmest thoughts and prayers go out to you both.I have a gift card for Powell's book store; you can have it if you want.

[yammer107]

First off- You don't look old enough to have a 25 yr daughter! I'll help send some positive vibes your way also, and sincerely hope things turn out well. Chris

[lyricboy]

You two seem to have a GREAT relationship. THAT will be a big help in the process. Combine that with time and the determination you've (both) shown so far and it will come right before you realize it.Warm and fuzzy feelings en route!Greg

[suzdoyle]

Hey everyone . . . just a quick update -- Lyris seems to be stabilizing. Turns out she won't need back surgery for her herniated discs -- physical therapy galore, and the other pieces of the puzzles of what's going on for her seem to be falling into place. I'm glad I'm up here with here for the week (we're "roomies" - how fun is that?).Anyhoo, I deeply appreciate your positive thoughts and good wishes -- they are making a big difference!Big Hugs,SuzP.S. Elser; we'd LOVE the Powell's gift card. It's our favorite store (we're book-a-holics). Feel free to P.M. me for info.P.s.2 - Yammer - I do look much younger than my chronological age (I'm 50). Must be all that clean livin' -- either that or something in the genes . . . P.S. 3 - Squids - I'm very relieved to know about Lyris' PTSD. We're getting a better sense of what triggers it (being in cars, overdoing things, etc.), which makes it easier to help ease things before they get too intense. And everyone else; again, many thanks for your generous concern and good thoughts. Internet is a bit spotty here in my daughter's apartment; but I'll check in when able. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[cyndy]

Hey Suz,Haven't been on the forum much in a while. ... Just found your post. Your close relationship with Lyris sounds a lot like mine with my daughter, Janessa (age 27.) Mom and daughter, yes... but more than that. Close friends.Lyris doesn't deserve to have a fearful spirit. She's got too much of her mom's spunk and joy. So I'm praying for Peace to... (1) surround her, (2) comfort her, and (3) dispell fear when it tries to overtake her.Suz, you are a precious gift to mankind, and I'm declaring Lyris is off-limits to any force that wants to limit your/her outreach!Love,CyndyP.S. - Let's proclaim April 15th as "LYRIS FREEDOM DAY!!"