Joke of the Minute...

[liamkelly]

Oct 7, 2008, 6:53pm, nomiyah wrote:What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese. That's so bad it's good, Nomi

[davekershaw]

Quote:What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese. Oh dear, what has happened to the standard of jokes around here! And Ibanez: lack of flippin' talent!!

[davekershaw]

Let's try and raise the standard around here! A woman was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when she heard her husband's car pull in the driveway. She yelled at the boyfriend, "Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window, my husband's home early!"The boyfriend looked out the window and said, "I can't jump out the window! Its pouring out there!" She said, "If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both! So the boyfriend grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he began running down the street, he discovered he had run right in the middle of a town marathon, so he started running along beside the others. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to "blend in" as best he could. One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?" He answered, while gasping for air, "Oh, yes, it feels so free having the air blow over your skin while you are running". Another runner then asked the nude man, "Do you always run carrying your clothes on your arm?" The nude man answered breathlessly, "Oh, yes, that way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!" The runner then asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" He replied "Only if it's raining."

[davekershaw]

Oi! Ibanez and Jazzstan; I reckon we're owed some royalties there!

[ibanez468]

Good one Dave!! I'm just tryna' keep it clean before I get attacked again. I realize the standard is QUITE soft, but I'm just tryna' comply with some earlier complaints that went against me. Don't feel like startin' a war. There's already plenty of those goin' on now anyway. I-468

[drew]

Oct 12, 2008, 6:43pm, nomiyah wrote:WHAT IS IT..... ?Each question consists of 3 clues. Answers at the bottom (NO cheating)1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts.3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me.. I'm called a big swinger.4. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open.5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.6. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.7. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.8. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me.9. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard.10. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news.11. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off.12. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.13. My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it.14. I make some guys shoot in the air. I usually have a little pecker. I'm better in your hand than in your bush. This one seemed easy til I read the answers.

[davekershaw]

Yeah, I like the questions better than the answers.

[ibanez468]

Oct 13, 2008, 5:34am, drew wrote:Oct 12, 2008, 6:43pm, nomiyah wrote:WHAT IS IT..... ?Each question consists of 3 clues. Answers at the bottom (NO cheating)1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts.3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me.. I'm called a big swinger.4. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open.5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.6. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.7. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.8. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me.9. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard.10. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news.11. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off.12. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.13. My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it.14. I make some guys shoot in the air. I usually have a little pecker. I'm better in your hand than in your bush. This one seemed easy til I read the answers. I hear ya'!!

[linziellen]

Spaghetti!!! For several years, a married man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.' 'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted.On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without.' 'SEND EXTRA SAUCE'. ...sorry if you've already heard it, there are 25 pages now

[ibanez468]