Joke of the Minute...

[drew]

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. -- Arthur Schopenhauer

[drew]

Two Cabbage heads were walking down a road one day and one was struck by a car. The other Cabbage head picked him up and took him to the hospital where the Doctor worked on him. When the doctor came out he said "I have good news and bad news." "The good news is that I sewed his head up and got hisleaves all back on straight. The bad news is he will be avegetable the rest of his life." I can't help myself, I just love doing this to you people.

[hookstownbrown]

Did ya hear the one about the drummer who quit eating pickles?He couldn't fit his head back in the jar...

[hookstownbrown]

Non- musically speaking...Quick Thinking...A senior citizen bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head."This is great," he thought as he roared down the interstate. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring."I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more, flying down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph! Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." So, he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man ..."Sir," he said, looking at his watch. My shift ends in 30 minutes; and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."The trooper replied, "Sir, have a nice day."

[drew]

[ernstinen]

Stop me if you've heard this one! An old gentleman was sipping a scotch in the hotel bar, when an elderly lady sat down next to him. They started talking, and found an immediate attraction. After 3 or 4 drinks, the gentleman suggested that they go up to his room for a nightcap. The lady agreed.After a couple of brandies, one thing led to the next, and the elderly lady started taking off her clothes. She paused for a second, and said to the gentleman "I just have to let you know I've got Acute Angina."The gentleman replied "Maybe so, but the rest of you is looking pretty droopy."Ern

[hookstownbrown]

Hee hee heee...

[hookstownbrown]

Two hillbillies, Ed and Red, walk into a bar...While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"The woman shakes her head "no.""Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head "no."The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress. He yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick maneuver,' but ain't never seed nobody do it !!"

[hookstownbrown]

Quote:I bet I know who that hillbilly was, I just didn't know they had 'em up north. Now how'd I know that I was gonna hafta duck a few jabs after tellin' that joke...

[drew]

A man walked into his doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear."Doctor, what's the matter with me?" he asked.The doctor replied, "You're not eating properly."