Joke of the Minute...

[drew]

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes, because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton

[drew]

~Actual Titles of Some Country Music Songs:~- If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You- Do You Love As Good As You Look?- Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye- Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure- How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?- I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life- I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling- I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me- I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.- I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You- I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!- I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win- I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy- I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line- If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You- If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low- If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me- If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will- If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?- Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)- My Every Day Silver Is Plastic- My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart- My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him- Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You- Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill- She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft; She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger- She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart- She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty- Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone- They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out- Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart- When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In- You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too- You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat- You Were Only A Splinter In My Ass As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life- You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

[drew]

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook

[roxhythe]

Another great title, from a songwriter in Australia:"I Keep Missing You, Baby, but My Aim Is Getting Better"Joe

[drew]

What do you call a building full of guitarists? Jail.

[hookstownbrown]

Whaddaya call a store full of horn players?Sax

[drew]

How many singers does it take to screw in a light bulb.None, they can't get that high.

[ernstinen]

Caution: Political Joke! Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?Ern

[hookstownbrown]

Good one Ern!!!

[drew]

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?Three, one to hold the bulb and two to drink til the room spins.