Joke of the Minute...

[53mph]

Hope no-ones posted these one yet.Q: What do you call a guitarist with half his brain removed? A bassist.Q: What do you call a guitarist with his whole brain removed? A drummer.Q: What do you say to a working musician? "I'll have a burger and fries please."

[drew]

Bill's barn burned down, and his wife Polly called theinsurance company.Polly told the insurance company, "We had that barn insuredfor fifty thousand, and I want my money."The agent replied, "Hold on just a minute, Polly. Insurancedoesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value ofwhat was insured and provide you with a new barn ofcomparable worth."There was a long pause before Polly replied, "Then I'd liketo cancel the policy on my husband."

[ernstinen]

Quote:The chimp says, "At a hundred bucks a drink...I'm not surprised." Bob Ouch! That joke is older than dirt! How about this version:A rope walks into a bar and orders a scotch. The bartender starts pouring the drink before realizing that his customer is a rope."Hey, we don't let ropes in this place. Get out!"So the rope walks out in the hallway, thinks for a minute, and decides he really wants a drink. He walks back in, sits down, and orders a scotch.The bartender says "Are you DEAF! I told you no ropes allowed in here. Get lost!"The rope walks out down the hallway into the bathroom. He looks into the mirror, a little rope tear welling up in his eye. After a moment, he coils the top part of himself, and fluffs up his ragged tuft.The rope marches back into the bar and orders a scotch. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Hey! Aren't you that rope that keeps coming in here!?"The rope looks the bartender in the eye and says "No. I'm a frayed knot."Rimshot, Choke Cymbal!Ern

[drew]

Do you realize that in about 50 years, we'll have thousandsof old ladies running around with tattoos and belly buttonrings?

[midnitebob]

"Hope I die 'fore I get old"....Oops, too late.......I guess I'm just thankful that I won't be around in fifty years to witness the Bingo parlors...Caller: B-12Woman: Bingo!!!Caller: And the prize goes to the woman with the dolphin hangin' from her navel & the 'MILF In Training' shoulder tattoo...

[drew]

[ernstinen]

An elderly gentleman was sipping on a scotch in an upscale hotel bar, when a pretty older lady sat down next to him. They began to talk, and found an immediate attraction to each other.After a few drinks, the gentleman invited the lady up to his room for a nightcap. She accepted.The brandy enhanced the mood, and one thing led to the next. The lady flirtatiously sat on the bed, and the gentleman began to slowly undress her. When she was naked from the waist up, the elderly lady said "I think I should let you know that I have acute angina."The gentleman replied "I sure hope so, because the rest of you is looking pretty droopy!"Ern

[mani]

I don't get it...

[ernstinen]

Quote:I don't get it... Start with "acute angina" ---- and then say the last line out loud!Ern

[drew]

Maybe it'll work if you say it backwards:"I have angina that is acute... and droopy"Nah, nothing there either. How about saying she has tattoos and body piercings?