Joke of the Minute...

[mewman]

A Jazz musician wins the lotterie. His friends ask him, "What are you going to do with the million dollars?" He replies, " I'll just keep gigging till the money runs out".....

[ibanez468]

That Darned Cat A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that darned cat on the phone. I'm lost and need directions!"

[Casey H]

Do you think it's too soon to be hitting on Mrs. Elliot Spitzer?

[rayzer]

How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?"You can't change that light bulb! My grandmother donated that light bulb!"

[rayzer]

A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer...and a mop!"

[linziellen]

Any last requests?A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ah'd be mighty grateful if'n yoo'd play 'Achy Breaky Heart' fur me bahfore ah hafta go.""Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that," says the warden. He turns to the biker, "And you, biker, what's your last request?""That you kill me first."

[drew]

LOL, Lindsey Ellen _________________________________This just proves that we have become too dependent on our computers. Are you male or female? To find out the answer, look down.... Look down! ... not scroll down

[ibanez468]

[ibanez468]

What's Two and Two A bank manager was interviewing four very different applicants from his short list for the position of clerical. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, 'What is two and two?' The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was 'Twenty-two.' The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v Cromwell two and two was proven to be four. The last applicant was an accountant. When the bank manager asked him, 'How much is two and two?', the accountant got up from his chair, went over and closed the door. He came back, sat down, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, 'How much do you want it to be?' He got the job.

[drew]

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'My loving wife of 30 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in this mess!" courtesy of Hook