Joke of the Minute...

[linziellen]

OH NO!!!!! I didn't laugh (too much), so sorry guys I am a let down. Right that's one to you Ibanez, I had better lay low from now on

[ibanez468]

Jun 4, 2008, 9:22am, davekershaw wrote:Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot, Someone has stolen our tent."

[sgs4u]

A middle-age redneck family from the hills was visiting the cityand they were in a huge shopping mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were strolling around while the wife window-shopped, close by. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "Paw, what's at?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuttin' like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an overweight, elderly lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular number above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy..................go gitcha Mom ma" ...............

[ibanez468]

Good one Steve!

[ibanez468]

Gotcha! I-468

[davekershaw]

Jun 4, 2008, 10:33pm, ibanez468 wrote:Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."So True!!!

[davekershaw]

Jun 4, 2008, 7:29pm, drew wrote:Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.Well I never!

[frodo]

Jun 5, 2008, 11:14am, davekershaw wrote:Jun 4, 2008, 10:33pm, ibanez468 wrote:Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."So True!!! Agree! Hehe! Very funny!+1::- until next timefrodo

[devin]

Jun 7, 2008, 3:32am, bmete wrote:The stewardess on my flight yesterday left us with this cute joke..What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom...You're a "fun guy" ( ok you got to say it fast )..bobbwahaha...a good "mile high" mushroom joke...thanks Bob! Here's a corny one for us:Grandpa walks into a lumberjack camp that is hiring woodcutters.Grandpa: "I'm yer man!"Forman: "Well if you're any good, go cut that log in half so we can get it on the truck."Grandpa looks at the 100' long trunk that is about 3 feet thick in the middle. He walks to his truck, and walks back with an axe.The site erupts in laughter, as lumberjacks start shaking their heads, some of them pulling out money to make bets, etc.Grandpa pulls the axe back, and hits the log 4 times in 2 seconds, jumps over the log, and delivers the final blow. The far ends of the log jump about a foot in the air as the log seperates, and the wheel-barrow sized wood chips from his first four swings rain down on the yard, crashing into trucks, the porta-potty, etc.The loggers stand in silence...and grandpa walks back to the foreman.Grandpa: "Good enough fer ya?"Forman: "Absolutely. Welcome aboard...and if you don't mind me asking, where did you learn how to do that?!?"Grandpa says "The Sahara forest" as he turns to walk towards his truck.Forman: "Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"Grandpa throws the axe in the back..."Well ya, now it is"***posters disclaimer: no pigs were harmed in the telling of this joke***

[ibanez468]

Good one Dev!Emotional Extremes The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. "Elation," said she. "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "How about the opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."***This is only geared towards the head of our current administration.***