Joke of the Minute...

Songwriting, songwriters, etc

Moderators: admin, mdc, TAXIstaff

byllsong
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 1379
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 7:17 am
Gender: Male
Location: Bahamas
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by byllsong » Thu Dec 11, 2008 4:38 am

Billy

User avatar
davewalton
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 4172
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 11:57 am
Location: Cape Girardeau, Missouri
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by davewalton » Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:58 am

My favorite Rodney Dangerfield thing..."I'm not in very good shape, I'll tell ya. I went to a nude beach. The tide went out... IT STAYED THERE!"

ibanez468
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 2941
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 3:18 pm
Gender: Male
Location: The 'Chi'
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by ibanez468 » Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:48 am

Now that's straight to the point!

ibanez468
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 2941
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 3:18 pm
Gender: Male
Location: The 'Chi'
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by ibanez468 » Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:18 am

TURNED THE TABLESOne night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."

nomiyah
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 1470
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2005 8:29 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Home Is Where The Studio Is
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by nomiyah » Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:00 pm

OMG Dave

User avatar
Casey H
King of the World
King of the World
Posts: 14668
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 3:22 pm
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by Casey H » Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:02 am

FIFTY DOLLARS IS FIFTY DOLLARSMorris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year. And every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars. And fifty dollars is fifty dollars' One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.' Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word.When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, But you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!' Casey

User avatar
davekershaw
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 3961
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:10 am
Gender: Male
Location: Aylesby, England
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by davekershaw » Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:05 am


User avatar
davekershaw
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 3961
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:10 am
Gender: Male
Location: Aylesby, England
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by davekershaw » Wed Feb 18, 2009 10:32 am

Quote:The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".

byllsong
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 1379
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 7:17 am
Gender: Male
Location: Bahamas
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by byllsong » Wed Feb 18, 2009 10:48 am

Doggone Puppies
Billy

User avatar
allends
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 1707
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 10:14 am
Gender: Male
Location: South Bend, Indiana
Contact:

Re: Joke of the Minute...

Post by allends » Thu Feb 19, 2009 6:22 am

Feb 19, 2009, 7:31am, davekershaw wrote:...keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds:OMG, this funny stuff is so cute I'm wiping a tear! Thanks Dave,Allen

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests