Rock Staff Writers Needed!

[twilsbach]

Dan,The songs so far sound good, can't wait to hear the next round and ultimately hope you get forwarded.and Matto, I'm just a fly on the wall in this particular thread, and I've read a similar comment to the one I'm about to make in countless other threads you've posted in, but your reply is just really fantastic, grounded, completely helpful and at once deflating, yet somehow encouraging advice.I'm going to copy and paste your reply and keep it for myself when I think I've written something spectacular to make me work a little harder on making each song the best it can possibly be.Its no wonder that Michael recently recognized your contributions on these boards, and although I'm a relative newbie here I just wanted to express my thanks as well.Quote:Quote:BTW, long shot or not, I REALLY want this gig...so whatever I have to do to get there I'm happy to do DanHey Dan,This is just my opinion. But...if you REALLY want this gig, walk away from these two songs, and write something that completely blows these away.Don't get me wrong, these are good songs, I think they can find a home in film and tv, in fact I'm pretty sure they will. They can clear a fairly high bar I think, Space Needle high even perhaps.But for this listing, the bar is the moon, and these songs won't get you over the moon.Remember, this is for a staff writer deal for rock. Most rock bands write their own songs, so the only way this "mogul" is gonna get songs cut is if his writers have stuff that's clearly better than what todays hottest rock acts write.So what you need here are "event" songs. "Signature" songs. UNDENIABLE HITS.I think the main "problem" with your songs vis-a-vis a listing like this is that conceptually they are not unique enough. Lyrically, they don't have unique hook. "The superficial mind is never gonna interest me" is not a strong tag line, it's kind of clumsy and stilted, not conversational. It's not a "rock" thing to say. The rest of the chorus is just far too "been there done that" lyrically.I don't think the starting point of the song is a good one to begin with (I don't think most rock stars feel that groupies present a serious problem that must be dealt with pronto ), but if you did decide to write a song about it, it would need to have a far more unique angle to it, and it would need a far more visceral, personal, believable lyric for it to work.The other song is arguably not a rock song to begin with (as compared to the "a la's" of the listing, and is again a very pleasant and well crafted song but just not unique enough from it's basic idea/concept where it would blow people away and have them go WOW! How did he come up with this.So my advice would be, spend some time just thinking about concepts and titles that would make a unique hook. Unique but relatable. Listen to strangers' conversations, watch some movies, search for those nuggets that would make a unique concept for a rock song. If you find one or several, brainstorm them and try to figure out the best way to make that hook/title/concept/idea into the most compelling song possible.You might not get there by December 18, but I don't think there are a many (if ANY) people who could write 2-3 songs in 3 weeks that would be worthy of landing them a staff writer deal like this. Not even among those who already HAVE a deal like this.Getting to that point typically takes years.I'm not trying to discourage you, just being realistic here. Cranking out library songs is an entirely different thing and process from writing the next mega hit that has a chance to make it thru all the closed doors and run all the gauntlets it will have to in order to have a chance at getting cut by a major rock artist.matto

[aubreyz]

Yes, yes... Matt both knows his stuff AND how to say it. I'm sure there will be many trying this listing -- many are called, few are chosen...I honestly think a couple of our most forwarded cuts might stand a chance of getting past the right screener (if the all genres were different), but nothing I have right now would I consider good enough to land the gig. Ponch and I came home from the rally with the goal of getting off the ceiling and lower roof and hitting the sun.21 days for two masterpieces... hmmmm... let's see what this rally buzz leads to. You may not hear from me until the 17th... but we're gonna shoot for the moon... uhhh, sun Aub

[daniel481]

Good luck Aub! I hope that you and I are both writing hits for the big guys here soon.So yep, my two songs I posted are gone for this listing, but I just wanted to chime in again and say this:I WILL have two or three potential hits by the 18th. There's just no other way to go about it.

[Casey H]

Quote:BTW, long shot or not, I REALLY want this gig...so whatever I have to do to get there I'm happy to do Thanks again,DanHi DanToday's Catastrophe is another really strong song , stronger I think than the other... I have no doubt that you will land many film/TV and music library deals with your songs. They rock! It's great that you want this gig. Shoot for the stars!! While on your way (a VERY long journey) make stops at the moon and Mars... I really enjoy your music and your commitment & dedication! Casey

[silverorlead]

Thanks to all posting on this thread, from Daniel's enthusiasm and great songs to Matt's comments to everybody's great insights, I found it to be a great microcosm of the overall TAXI experience and a great lesson for me (I've only been a member for a couple months now). Just struck me as profound So gracias!-Bri

[silverorlead]

and I just realized I used the word "great" 4 times in a single sentence. A true wordsmith heheh

[sgs4u]

Welcome to the forum, where enthusiasm reigns supreme.Quote:and I just realized I used the word "great" 4 times in a single sentence. A true wordsmith heheh

[daniel481]

Thanks everyone who's been chiming in, and thanks for your kind words Casey! I'm really pumped about this thing, and in case you didn't catch it on one of my last posts, I've decided to toss these songs aside for now and I'm working on some brand new ones for this. Stay tuned...I have a pretty good feeling about these... And Michael, thanks for your critique as well. While they are mastered a bit hot, they should be well within the range of acceptable, and everywhere that I've checked them, the vocals have been loud and clear...it might have something to do with your listening setup. But these are definitely right in line with the a-las that I A-B'd them to, if not a little less squashed. Thanks for keeping me on my toes though! And also, I actually did get one forward for Today's Catastrophe last week, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed on more for that one, and some for the other one, too!

[aubreyz]

Quote:Remember, this is for a staff writer deal for rock. Most rock bands write their own songs, so the only way this "mogul" is gonna get songs cut is if his writers have stuff that's clearly better than what todays hottest rock acts write.So what you need here are "event" songs. "Signature" songs. UNDENIABLE HITS.I think the main "problem" with your songs vis-a-vis a listing like this is that conceptually they are not unique enough. Lyrically, they don't have unique hook. Matt,Thanks again for the wisdom you so often share. I hardly ever post lyrics without music, but this is such a high bar listing that I think the lyrics will have to stand on their own too. I'm happy with the music and arrangement for song#1 for this listing, but nothing really to post/hear yet. Lyrically, this is concept #4 for song #1-- I'm posting it to see how strong the concept/hooks/ideas are. At this point, I haven't really "word for word" dissected this technically. It's idea and word choice for now. The phrasing may seem odd without the flow of the music, and there are some meter issues as well that need fixing. Goals- memorable, somewhat shocking first line -- repetitive but interesting chorus (simple phrase with unique meaning), overall - unique simplicity. btw-- edited this post to make clear I'm not looking for feedback JUST from Matto Save MeVs1If I were JesusIt wouldn't be enoughYou'd crucify meAgain and again for funAll I get is emptyTrying to fill you upDon't want to be SocratesYou're hemlock in my cupPrechorusYou only said that you said itTo see if I would say what you needed to feed your diseaseYou only want me to want youSo I can be a puppet on the whim of your heart string teaseChorus1Save meFrom saving you from yourselfSave meThis time I'm running from the rescue2nd verseIf I could hate youThis would all be doneLoved every minuteHate what I've becomeprechorusI never meant not to mean itWish you never heard my trio of words too often saidYou know it hurts me to hurt youBut now I have to show my love by never ever loving you again Chorus 2Save meFrom saving you from yourselfSave meThis time I'm running from the rescueSave meFind your messiah somewhere elseBlame mefor letting you go but that's the only way I know to(bridge)Save me - from youSave me - from yousoloChorus 3Save meFrom saving you from yourselfSave meThis time I'm running from the rescueSave meFind your messiah somewhere elseBlame mefor letting you go but this time I'm not gonnaSave you

[aubreyz]

and an afterthought... considering the first line in the lyrics above - I'm glad to live in a country where they don't flog you for naming Teddy Bears...